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From mind control to murder? How a deadly fall revealed the CIA’s darkest secrets
Frank Olson died in 1953, but, because of clandestine US government experiments, it took decades for his family to get closer to the truth Stephen Kinzer Fri 6 Sep 2019
Glass shattered high above Seventh Avenue in Manhattan before dawn on a cold November morning in 1953. Seconds later, a body hit the sidewalk. Jimmy, the doorman at the Statler hotel, was momentarily stunned. Then he turned and ran into the hotel lobby. “We got a jumper!” he shouted. “We got a jumper!”
The night manager peered up through the darkness at his hulking hotel. After a few moments, he picked out a curtain flapping through an open window. It turned out to be room 1018A. Two names were on the registration card: Frank Olson and Robert Lashbrook.
Police officers entered room 1018A with guns drawn. They saw no one. The window was open. They pushed open the door to the bathroom and found Lashbrook sitting on the toilet, head in hands. He had been sleeping, he said, and “I heard a noise and then I woke up.”
“The man that went out the window, what is his name?” one officer asked.
“Olson,” came the reply. “Frank Olson.”
“In all my years in the hotel business,” the night manager later reflected, “I never encountered a case where someone got up in the middle of the night, ran across a dark room in his underwear, avoiding two beds, and dove through a closed window with the shade and curtains drawn.”
The Statler Hotel in Manhattan. Photograph: Bettmann Archive
Leaving the police officers, the night manager returned to the lobby and, on a hunch, asked the telephone operator if any calls had recently been made from room 1018A. “Yes,” she replied – and she had eavesdropped, not an uncommon practice in an era when hotel phone calls were routed through a switchboard. Someone in the room had called a number on Long Island, which was listed as belonging to Dr Harold Abramson, a distinguished physician, less well known as an LSD expert and one of the CIA’s medical collaborators.
“Well, he’s gone,” the caller had said. Abramson replied: “Well, that’s too bad.”
To the first police officers on the scene, this seemed like another of the human tragedies they saw too often: a distressed or distraught man had taken his own life. They could not have known that the dead man and the survivor were scientists who helped direct one of the US government’s most highly classified intelligence programmes.
Early the next morning, one of Olson’s close colleagues drove to Maryland to break the terrible news to the dead man’s family. He told Alice Olson and her three children that Frank “fell or jumped” to his death from a hotel window. Naturally, they were shocked, but they had no choice other than to accept what they were told. Alice did not object when told that, given the condition of her husband’s body, family members should not view it. The funeral was held with a closed casket. There the case might have ended.
Decades later, however, spectacular revelations cast Olson’s death in a completely new light. First, the CIA admitted that, shortly before he died, Olson’s colleagues had lured him to a retreat and fed him LSD without his knowledge. Then it turned out that Olson had talked about leaving the CIA – and told his wife that he had made “a terrible mistake”. Slowly, a counter-narrative emerged: Olson was disturbed about his work and wanted to quit, leading his comrades to consider him a security risk. All of this led him to room 1018A.
* * *
Frank Olson had been one of the first scientists assigned to the secret US biological warfare laboratories at Fort Detrick in Frederick, Maryland during the second world war. There Olson began working with the handful of colleagues who would accompany him throughout his clandestine career. One was Harold Abramson. Others included ex-Nazi scientists who had been brought to work on secret missions in the US. For a time they worked on aerosol technologies – ways to spray germs or toxins on enemies and to defend against such attacks. Later, Olson met with American intelligence officers who had experimented with “truth drugs” in Europe.
Olson was discharged from the army in 1944, but remained at Fort Detrick on a civilian contract and continued his research into aerobiology. Several times he visited the secluded Dugway Proving Ground in Utah, which was used for testing “living biological agents, munitions and aerosol cloud production”. He co-authored a 220-page study entitled Experimental Airborne Infections, which described experiments with “airborne clouds of highly infectious agents”.
In 1949, he travelled to the Caribbean for Operation Harness, which tested the vulnerability of animals to toxic clouds. The next year, he was part of Operation Sea Spray, in which dust engineered to float like anthrax was released near San Francisco. He regularly travelled to Fort Terry, a secret army base on Plum Island, off the eastern tip of Long Island, which was used to test toxins too deadly to be brought on to the US mainland.
This was the period when senior army and CIA officers were becoming deeply alarmed at what they feared was Soviet progress toward mastering forms of warfare based on microbes. Their alarm led to the creation of the special operations division. Rumours about its work spread through offices and laboratories. Olson learned of it over an evening game of cards with a colleague, John Schwab, who unbeknown to him, had been named the division’s first chief. Schwab invited him to join. Olson accepted immediately.
Less than a year later, Olson succeeded Schwab as chief of the special operations division. His job description was vague but tantalising: collect data “of interest to the division, with particular emphasis on the medico-biological aspects”, and coordinate his work with “other agencies conducting work of a similar or related nature”. That meant the CIA.
Olson’s speciality was “the airborne distribution of biological germs”, according to one study. “Dr Olson had developed a range of lethal aerosols in handy sized containers. They were disguised as shaving cream and insect repellants. They contained, among other agents, staph enteroxin, a crippling food poison; the even more deadly Venezuelan equine encephalomyelitis; and most deadly of all, anthrax ... Further weapons he was working on included a cigarette lighter which gave out an almost instant lethal gas, a lipstick that would kill on contact with skin and a neat pocket spray for asthma sufferers that induced pneumonia.”
Frank Olson in 1952. Photograph: AP
By the time Olson stepped down as chief of the special operations division in early 1953, complaining that the pressures of the job aggravated his ulcers, he had joined the CIA. He stayed with the division, which was officially part of the army but functioned as a CIA research station hidden within a military base. There he came to know Sidney Gottlieb and his deputy, Robert Lashbrook, the two scientists who would soon be running a top-secret CIA project codenamed MK-Ultra.
Gottlieb was the CIA’s chief poison-maker. Over two decades, he oversaw medical experiments and “special interrogation” projects in which hundreds of people were tormented and many minds were permanently shattered. During this period, there was an obsession at the CIA: there is a way to control the human mind, and if it can be found, the prize will be nothing less than global mastery. MK-Ultra was a top secret programme of experiments in mind control that used, as its basic formula, doses of LSD given to “expendables”. Gottlieb wanted to discover how much LSD a human being could take. Could there be a breaking point, he wondered – a dose so massive that it would shatter the mind and blast away consciousness, leaving a void into which new impulses or even a new personality could be implanted?
In his laboratory at Fort Detrick, Olson directed experiments that involved gassing or poisoning laboratory animals. These experiences disturbed him. “He’d come to work in the morning and see piles of dead monkeys,” his son Eric later recalled. “That messes with you. He wasn’t the right guy for that.”
Olson also saw human beings suffer. Although not a torturer himself, he observed and monitored torture sessions in several countries.
“In CIA safe-houses in Germany,” according to one study, “Olson witnessed horrific brutal interrogations on a regular basis. Detainees who were deemed ‘expendable’ – suspected spies or moles, security leaks, etc – were literally interrogated to death in experimental methods combining drugs, hypnosis and torture, to attempt to master brainwashing techniques and memory erasing.”
* * *
As Thanksgiving approached in 1953, Olson received an invitation to gather on Wednesday 18 November for a retreat at a cabin on Deep Creek Lake in western Maryland. This retreat was one in a series that Gottlieb convened every few months. Officially, it was a coming-together of two groups: four CIA scientists from the technical services staff, which ran MK-Ultra, and five army scientists from the special operations division of the chemical corps. In reality, these men worked so closely together that they comprised a single unit. They were comrades in search of cosmic secrets. It made sense for them to gather, discuss their projects and exchange ideas in a relaxed environment.
The first 24 hours at the retreat were uneventful. On Thursday evening, the group gathered for dinner and then settled back for a round of drinks. Lashbrook, Gottlieb’s deputy, produced a bottle of Cointreau and poured glasses for the company. Several, including Olson, drank heartily. After 20 minutes, Gottlieb asked if anyone was feeling odd. Several said they were. Gottlieb then told them their drinks had been spiked with LSD.
The news was not well received. Even in their altered state, the subjects could understand what had been done to them. Olson was especially upset. According to his son Eric, he became “quite agitated and was having a serious confusion with separating reality from fantasy”. Soon, though, he and the others were carried away into a hallucinatory world. Gottlieb later reported that they were “boisterous and laughing … unable to continue the meeting or engage in sensible conversations”. The next morning, they were in only slightly better shape. The meeting broke up. Olson headed back to Frederick. By the time he arrived, he was a changed man.
The next morning, 23 November, Olson showed up early at Fort Detrick. His boss, Vincent Ruwet, arrived soon after. Neither were in good shape. More than four days had passed since they had been given LSD without their knowledge. Ruwet later called it “the most frightening experience I have ever had or hope to have”.
Olson began pouring out his doubts and fears. “He appeared to be agitated, and asked me if I should fire him or he should quit,” Ruwet later recalled. Ruwet tried to calm him, assuring him that his work was excellent, and recognised as such. Slowly, Olson was persuaded that resignation was too extreme a reaction.
By this time MK-Ultra had been under way for seven months. It was one of the government’s deepest secrets, guarded by security that was, as Olson had been told when he joined the special operations division, “tighter than tight”. Barely two dozen men knew its true nature. Nine had been at Deep Creek Lake. Several of those had been surreptitiously dosed with LSD. Now one of them seemed out of control. This was no light matter for men who believed that the success or failure of MK-Ultra might determine the fate of the US, and all humanity.
Olson had spent 10 years at Fort Detrick and knew most, if not all, of the special operation division’s secrets. He had repeatedly visited Germany and brought home pictures from Heidelberg and Berlin, where the US military maintained clandestine interrogation centres. He was one of several special operations division scientists who were in France on 16 August 1951, when an entire French village, Pont-Saint-Esprit, was mysteriously seized by mass hysteria and violent delirium that afflicted more than 200 residents and caused several deaths; the cause was later determined to have been poisoning by ergot, the fungus from which LSD was derived. Perhaps most threatening of all, if US forces did indeed use biological weapons during the Korean war – for which there is circumstantial evidence but no proof – Olson would have known. The prospect that he might reveal any of what he had seen or done was terrifying.
“He was very, very open and not scared to say what he thought,” Olson’s friend and colleague Norman Cournoyer later recalled. “He did not give a damn. Frank Olson pulled no punches at any time … That’s what they were scared of, I am sure.”
Olson’s doubts deepened. In spring 1953, he visited the top-secret Microbiological Research Establishment at Porton Down in Wiltshire, where government scientists were studying the effects of sarin and other nerve gases. On 6 May, a volunteer subject, a 20-year-old soldier, was dosed with sarin there, began foaming at the mouth, collapsed into convulsions, and died an hour later. Afterward, Olson spoke about his discomfort with a psychiatrist who helped direct the research, William Sargant.
A month later, Olson was back in Germany. On that trip, according to a later reconstruction of his travels, Olson “visited a CIA safe house near Stuttgart [where] he saw men dying, often in agony, from the weapons he had made.” After stops in Scandinavia and Paris, he returned to Britain and visited Sargant again. Immediately after their meeting, Sargant wrote a report saying that Olson was “deeply disturbed over what he had seen in CIA safe houses in Germany” and “displayed symptoms of not wanting to keep secret what he had witnessed”. He sent his report to his superiors with the understanding that they would forward it to the CIA. Sargant said later: “There were common interests to protect.” * * *
Five days after being dosed with LSD, Olson was still disoriented. Ruwet, his boss at the special operations division, called Gottlieb to report this. Gottlieb asked him to bring Olson in for a chat. At their meeting, Gottlieb later testified, Olson seemed “confused in certain areas of his thinking”. He made a quick decision: Olson must be taken to New York City and delivered to the physician most intimately tied to MK-Ultra – Harold Abramson.
Alice Olson was told that Abramson was chosen because her husband “had to see a physician who had equal security clearance so he could talk freely”.
That was partly true. Abramson was not a psychiatrist, but he was an MK-Ultra initiate. Gottlieb knew that Abramson’s first loyalty was to MK-Ultra – or, as he would have put it, to the security of the US. That made him the ideal person to probe Olson’s inner mind. Olson told Abramson that ever since the Deep Creek Lake retreat, he had been unable to work well. He could not concentrate and forgot how to spell. He could not sleep. Abramson sought to reassure Olson, who seemed to relax afterwards.
A week had passed since Olson was given LSD at Deep Creek Lake. He planned to return to his family for Thanksgiving dinner. The day after seeing Abramson, accompanied by Lashbrook and Ruwet, he boarded a flight to Washington. An MK-Ultra colleague was waiting when they landed. Ruwet and Olson got into his car for the drive to Frederick. Soon after they set off, Olson’s mood changed. He asked that the car be stopped. Olson turned to Ruwet and announced that he felt “ashamed to meet his wife and family” because he was “so mixed up”.
“What do you want me to do?” Ruwet asked.
“Just let me go. Let me go off by myself.” “I can’t do that.”
“Well then, just turn me over to the police. They’re looking for me anyway.”
Ruwet suggested Olson return to New York for another session with Abramson. Olson agreed, so they took a taxi to Abramson’s weekend home on Long Island. Abramson spent about an hour with Olson, followed by 20 minutes with Lashbrook.
The next morning, Abramson, Lashbrook and Olson drove back to Manhattan. During a session at his Fifty-Eighth Street office, Abramson persuaded Olson that he should agree to be hospitalised as a voluntary patient at a Maryland sanatorium. Olson and Lashbrook left, registered at the Statler Hotel, and were given room 1018A.
Over dinner at the Statler, Olson told Lashbrook that he was looking forward to his hospitalisation. He mused about books he would read. Lashbrook later said he was “almost the Dr Olson I knew before the experiment”. The two returned to their room. Olson washed his socks in the sink, watched TV for a while and lay down to sleep.
At 2.25am, he went out the window. * * *
Every secret service needs officers who specialise in cleaning up messes. In the CIA of the 1950s, those officers worked for Sheffield Edwards at the Office of Security. The cover-up he directed in the hours and days after Frank Olson died was a model of brisk efficiency.
With the calm self-assurance for which he was known at the CIA, Edwards announced how the cover-up would unfold. First, the New York police would be persuaded not to investigate, and to cooperate in misleading the press. Second, a fake career – a “legend” – would be constructed for Lashbrook, who, as the sole witness, would be questioned by investigators and could under no circumstances be recognised as working for the CIA, much less MK-Ultra. Third, the Olson family would have to be informed, placated and kept cooperative.
While Alice, at home in Maryland, was being informed of her husband’s death, Lashbrook was welcoming the CIA cavalry to room 1018A at the Statler in New York. It took the form of a single officer. In internal reports, he is called “Agent James McC”. Later, he was identified as James McCord, who would go on to become a footnote to US political history as one of the Watergate burglars. McCord had previously been an FBI agent specialising in counterintelligence. Making police investigations evaporate was one of his specialities.
As soon as Edwards called McCord before dawn on 28 November, he swung into action. He took the first morning plane to New York and arrived at the Statler about 8am. He spent an hour questioning Lashbrook and then, at about 9.30am, advised him to go to the morgue at Bellevue hospital, as the police had requested, to identify Olson’s body. While he was away, McCord minutely searched room 1018A and nearby rooms.
Shortly after noon, Lashbrook returned to the Statler, where McCord was waiting. Over the next few hours, Lashbrook made a series of telephone calls. One was to Gottlieb. When he hung up, he told McCord that Gottlieb had instructed him to go to Abramson’s office, pick up a report and take it back to Washington by hand. Lashbrook carried Abramson’s report to Washington on the midnight train. CIA security officers in New York took care of the remaining details. The investigating police detective concluded that Olson had died from multiple fractures “subsequent upon a jump or fall”. That became the official narrative.
Despite the successful cover-up, Olson’s death was a near-disaster for the CIA. It came close to threatening the very existence of MK-Ultra.
Gottlieb and his bosses at the CIA might have taken this as a moment for reflection. In light of this death, they could have reasoned, further experiments with psychoactive drugs should be stopped, at least on unwitting subjects. Instead, they proceeded as if Olson’s death had never happened. * * *
On 12 June 1975, the Washington Post ran a story about an army scientist who had been drugged with LSD by the CIA, reacted badly and jumped out of the window of a New York hotel. This story, with its lurid mix of drugs, death and the CIA, proved irresistible. For the next several days, reporters barraged the CIA with demands to know more. The Olson family called a press conference in the family’s back yard. Alice read a statement saying that the family had decided to “file a lawsuit against the CIA, perhaps within two weeks, asking several million dollars in damages”. She insisted that her husband had “not acted irrational or sick” during the last days of his life, but was “very melancholy” and “said he was going to leave his job”.
“Since 1953, we have struggled to understand Frank Olson’s death as an inexplicable ‘suicide,’” she said. “The true nature of his death was concealed for 22 years.”
Besides announcing plans to sue the CIA, the Olson family also asked the New York police department to open a new investigation. The Manhattan district attorney, Robert Morgenthau, replied immediately, promising that his office would begin “looking into certain aspects” of the case.
Alarm bells went off at the White House after the Olson family announced its plan to sue the CIA. A lawsuit, if allowed to proceed, would give the family, as well as homicide detectives in New York, a tool they could use to force disclosure of deep secrets. President Ford’s chief of staff, Donald Rumsfeld, and his deputy, Dick Cheney, recognised the danger. Cheney warned Rumsfeld in a memo that a lawsuit might force the CIA “to disclose highly classified national security information”. To head off this disaster, he recommended that Ford make a public “expression of regret” and “express a willingness to meet personally with Mrs Olson and her children”.
President Ford (centre right) in the Oval Office with the Olson family. Photograph: Bettmann/Bettmann Archive
Ford took his aides’ advice. He invited Alice and her three adult children to the White House. On 21 July 1975, they met in the Oval Office. It was a unique historical moment: the only time an American president has ever summoned the family of a CIA officer who died violently and apologised on behalf of the US government. Later, they met with CIA director William Colby at the agency’s HQ in Langley, Virginia. He apologised for what he called a “terrible thing” that “should never have happened”.
“Some of our people were out of control in those days,” Colby said. “They went too far. There were problems of supervision and administration.”
White House lawyers offered the Olson family $750,000 in exchange for dropping its legal claims. After some hesitation, the family accepted. Congress passed a special bill approving the payment. And that would have closed the case if Frank Olson had remained quiet in his grave.
* * *
At Olson’s funeral, Gottlieb had told grieving relatives that if they ever had questions about “what happened”, he would be happy to answer them. More than two decades later, at the end of 1984, they decided to accept his offer and called to arrange an appointment. When Alice, Eric and Nils Olson appeared at his door, his first reaction was relief.
“I’m so happy you don’t have a weapon,” Gottlieb said. “I had a dream last night that you all arrived at this door and shot me.”
Eric was taken aback. Later, he came to marvel at what he saw as Gottlieb’s manipulative power. “Before we even got through the door, we were apologising to him and reassuring him,” he said. “It was a brilliant and sophisticated way of turning the whole thing around.”
He began by telling the family what had happened at Deep Creek Lake on 19 November 1953. Olson and others were given LSD, he said, as part of an experiment to see “what would happen if a scientist were taken prisoner and drugged – would he divulge secret research and information?” Then he began musing about Olson. “Your father and I were very much alike,” he told Eric. “We both got into this because of patriotic feeling. But we both went a little too far, and we did things that we probably should not have done.”
That was as close to confession as Gottlieb ever came. He would not say what aspects of MK-Ultra went “a little too far”, or what he and Olson did that they “probably should not have done”. Nor would he entertain questions about inconsistencies in the story of Olson’s death. When Eric pressed him, he reacted sharply.
As the family were rising to leave, Gottlieb pulled Eric aside. “You are obviously very troubled by your father’s suicide,” he said. “Have you ever considered getting into a therapy group for people whose parents have committed suicide?” Eric did not follow that suggestion, but it left a deep impression on him. For years, he had been confused and depressed by the story of his father’s death. Only after meeting Gottlieb, however, did he resolve to bring his search for truth to the centre of his life.
“I didn’t have the confidence then in my scepticism to ignore his ploys, but when he made that therapy group suggestion – that was the moment when he overplayed his hand,” he said. “At that moment, I understood how much Gottlieb had a stake in defusing me. And it was also at that moment that the determination to show that he had played a role in murdering my father was born.”
Eric Olson waited another decade – until after his mother died – before taking his next step: arranging to exhume his father’s body. Several reporters stood near him as a backhoe clawed through the earth at Linden Hills cemetery in Frederick, Maryland, on 2 June 1994.
A forensic pathologist, James Starrs of George Washington University Law School, spent a month studying Olson’s body. When he was finished, he called a news conference. His tests for toxins in the body, he reported, had turned up nothing. The wound pattern, however, was curious. Starrs had found no glass shards on the victim’s head or neck, as might be expected if he had dived through a window. Most intriguingly, although Olson had reportedly landed on his back, the skull above his left eye was disfigured.
“I would venture to say that this hematoma is singular evidence of the possibility that Dr Olson was struck a stunning blow to the head by some person or instrument prior to his exiting through the window of room 1018A,” Starrs concluded. Later he was more emphatic: “I think Frank Olson was intentionally, deliberately, with malice aforethought, thrown out of that window.”
Besides conducting the autopsy, Starrs interviewed people connected to the case. One was Gottlieb. The two men met on a Sunday morning at Gottlieb’s home in Virginia. Starrs later wrote that it was “the most perplexing of all the interviews I conducted”.
Starr wrote: “I was emboldened to ask how he could so recklessly and cavalierly have jeopardised the lives of so many of his own men by the Deep Creek Lodge experiment with LSD. ‘Professor,’ he said without mincing a word, ‘you just do not understand. I had the security of this country in my hands.’ He did not say more, nor need he have done so. Nor did I, dumbfounded, offer a rejoinder. The means-end message was pellucidly clear. Risking the lives of the unwitting victims of the Deep Creek experiment was simply the necessary means to a greater good, the protection of the national security.”
Because Olson’s survivors had signed away their right to legal relief when they accepted their $750,000 compensation payment in 1975, they could not sue the CIA. Although Starr’s report and other discoveries sharpened Eric’s already powerful suspicion that foul play lay behind his father’s death, he could not prove it. Recognising that painful fact, he and his brother decided that it was finally time to reinter their father’s body. On 8 August 2002, the day before the reburial, he called reporters to his home and announced that he had reached a new conclusion about what had happened to his father.
“The death of Frank Olson on 28 November 1953 was a murder, not a suicide,” he declared. “This is not an LSD drug-experiment story, as it was represented in 1975. This is a biological warfare story. Frank Olson did not die because he was an experimental guinea pig who experienced a ‘bad trip’. He died because of concern that he would divulge information concerning a highly classified CIA interrogation program in the early 1950s, and concerning the use of biological weapons by the United States in the Korean War.”
In 2017, Stephen Saracco, a retired New York assistant district attorney who had investigated the Olson case and remained interested in it, made his first visit to the hotel room where Olson spent his final night. Looking around the room, Saracco said, raised the question of how Olson could have done it.
“If this would have been a suicide, it would have been very difficult to accomplish,” Saracco concluded. “There was motive to kill him. He knew the deepest, darkest secrets of the cold war. Would the American government kill an American citizen who was a scientist, who was working for the CIA and the army, if they thought he was a security risk? There are people who say: ‘Definitely.’”
This is an edited extract from Poisoner in Chief: Sidney Gottlieb and the CIA Search for Mind Control, published by Henry Holt & Co on 10 September and available at guardianbookshop.co.uk
The deaths of three New Yorkers from fentanyl-laced cocaine shows the growing danger in the US drug supply - ABC News
Facebook Twitter is stacked With ex-FBI and CIA officials In Key Posts
On a single day in March 2021, three New Yorkers ordered cocaine from the same drug delivery service, then died after unknowingly ingesting fatal doses of fentanyl, a potent synthetic opioid.
Warning: This article contains details readers might find distressing.
All three had texted the same drug dispatcher, Billy Ortega, who then coordinated couriers to swiftly deliver the cocaine to three separate locations in Manhattan, according to authorities.
Ortega knew it was tainted, prosecutors later said, but he sold it anyway.
Amanda Scher, a 38-year-old social worker, fatally overdosed in the Greenwich Village apartment she shared with her elderly rescue dog, close to New York University where she had completed her master's degree.
Wall Street trader Ross Mtangi, 40, had farewelled his pregnant girlfriend at their Manhattan penthouse before checking into a nearby hotel room.
He stayed there overnight, then texted her and other family members on the morning of March 17 to say he was OK but needed some space, the Wall Street Journal reported.
Mr Mtangi was found dead the next day by his sister and her partner, along with translucent black baggies containing what police identified as fentanyl-laced cocaine.
In the East Village, 26-year-old Julia Ghahramani, a talented first-year lawyer who had graduated from Columbia Law School in May 2020, died alone in her apartment after consuming the same bad batch of cocaine.
"Julia was amazing. She was brilliant," said her father Sassan Ghahramani, a hedge fund adviser from Greenwich, Connecticut.
He described his eldest daughter as a "warrior for social justice" who wanted to change the world for the better.
"We immediately knew she was poisoned," he said.
The drug fuelling America's deadly overdose crisis
Fentanyl is roughly 50 times more potent than heroin and up to 100 times stronger than morphine.
The pharmaceutical version of the drug is prescribed by doctors to treat severe pain, particularly after surgery or during end-of-life care.
But illicitly manufactured fentanyl, often made overseas, has increasingly spread through the United States' drug supply in recent years, showing up in counterfeit pills, MDMA, and stimulants such as cocaine and methamphetamine.
Amid the opioid epidemic, which began in the late 1990s with the over-prescription of painkillers such as OxyContin, overdose deaths in the US have risen fivefold over two decades, according to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC).
But fentanyl has been blamed for a recent deadly surge in unintentional overdoses across the country, which some have called the "third wave" of the evolving health crisis.
The most recent national data paints a grim picture, with more than 106,000 people dying from overdoses in the US in 2021.
Over half of those deaths involved synthetic opioids, such as fentanyl and its chemical analogues.
In New York City, over the same period, 2,668 overdose deaths were recorded by the city's health department.
Of those attributed to cocaine, 85 per cent also involved fentanyl, according to the department.
"Drug dealers don't label their drugs as poison, they just sell them with indifference to the tragedy left in their wake," said Damian Williams, the US attorney for the Southern District of New York, when he announced the conviction of Ortega for supplying the cocaine that killed three people in one day.
"This case exemplifies that the national fentanyl epidemic continues to claim lives and inflict havoc on families from all walks of life."
While some people use fentanyl because of its potency, others are unknowingly exposed to the drug due to the adulteration or cross-contamination of other substances.
Sarah Wakeman, the medical director for substance use disorder at Mass General Brigham in Boston, said this is particularly risky for those who don't generally use opioids or use them infrequently.
"You can imagine if someone is selling both cocaine and opioids out of the same area, a small amount of fentanyl [cross-contamination], because of how highly potent it is, ... could be enough to cause an overdose in someone who has no tolerance to opioids," Dr Wakeman said.
Why fentanyl can be deadly
Fentanyl is a depressant that binds to the body's opioid receptors, found in areas of the brain that control pain and emotions.
Too much can slow a person's heart rate and shut down their breathing, which can lead to hypoxia, a condition caused by decreased oxygen to the brain that may result in coma, permanent brain damage or death.
For someone with low opioid tolerance, "even a tiny bit of fentanyl could be enough to cause an overdose or even a fatal overdose," Dr Wakeman said.
In some cases, an amount the size of a small grain of rice can be deadly.
Ms Wakeman advocates a harm-reduction approach to substance use, including the use of test strips that reveal hidden fentanyl.
But while they are effective at detecting the drug, they don't measure its strength or quantity in a sample.
If an overdose occurs, naloxone, a medication that reverses the effects of opioids, sold under the brand name Narcan, can be lifesaving.
"For a person, particularly someone who uses cocaine or methamphetamine, who doesn't use opioids, to know that there's any amount of fentanyl in the substance you're about to use really is important," Ms Wakeman said.
"Because that could shape your decision about whether or not to use and certainly [your] thinking about precautions, like having naloxone on hand to reverse an overdose."
The small kit that could save a life
Across the East River from the famous skyscrapers of Manhattan, on a recent Tuesday night in Greenpoint, a group of New Yorkers gathered in an upstairs room of their local library.
They were there for a free Narcan and overdose-response training session run by Vocal-NY, a state-wide community organisation, and the volunteer-run Brooklyn Harm Reduction Outreach Cooperative.
Trainer Laura Levine asked the group if anyone knew how to recognise an opioid overdose.
She then explained what to look for — signs of drowsiness, slowed or stopped breathing, pale skin and blue lips — and how to administer a single-dose Narcan nasal spray if a person is unresponsive.
Ms Levine, who is Vocal-NY's education coordinator, also laid out the protections of New York State's "Good Samaritan" law, which is designed to allow people to call emergency services for medical support without fear of arrest if they or someone else are experiencing a drug or alcohol overdose.
Each attendee left with informational flyers and a zipped blue pouch containing two doses of Narcan, provided by the city's health department.
"The more that we're able to educate drug users and not only drug users but family and friends of drug users … the more lives can be saved," Ms Levine later told the ABC.
"What we're doing is just giving them the education and the information to make a safer decision.
"It's not to scare people."
Ms Levine was also quick to bust what she called "the biggest myths around fentanyl", including that it's possible to overdose from brief skin contact with the drug, as a bizarre spate of US media reports has suggested.
"In order to experience a fentanyl overdose, it needs to be absorbed into your body," she said.
"So either absorbed into the mucous membranes by sniffing or [by] injecting right into the bloodstream."
How New York's night spots can help prevent overdoses
Training sessions like those run by Vocal-NY are becoming commonplace across New York City, where around every four hours someone dies from an overdose, with Black and Latino communities and poorer neighbourhoods worst affected.
Authorities, local organisations and grassroots groups alike are grappling with how to curb the problem and empower residents to protect themselves and others.
Health officials have announced a plan to install 10 "public health vending machines" in the city, stocked with free supplies including naloxone, sterile syringes, safe-sex kits and more.
Naloxone is already available over the counter at pharmacies across the state, and the FDA is expected to soon approve its sale without a prescription nationwide.
But for those without health insurance, the cost can be prohibitive.
New York City's Office of Nightlife has partnered with its Department of Health to equip venues and hospitality workers with overdose-prevention tools through a program called Narcan Behind Every Bar, which includes training for the nightlife community and the distribution of free naloxone kits.
In 2018, Ariel Palitz, a former club owner, was appointed to lead the agency, which acts as a liaison between the mayor's office and the hospitality industry.
She said harm reduction, which includes moving away from a "strictly [law] enforcement approach" to drug use, is at the centre of her work.
"We see [stocking naloxone] now as benign and yet as important as having a CPR kit behind a bar, or a first aid kit," Ms Palitz said.
"It doesn't necessarily mean people are having heart attacks all over New York City bars. But if you are having one, it's nice to know you have a CPR kit."
Ms Palitz said it is important to acknowledge that recreational drug use is often a reality in bars and clubs but nightlife itself is not the issue.
"It's not a nightlife problem, it's a drug use and contamination problem," she said.
"Nightlife just happens to be a location where people socialise, gather, and happen to use drugs. And therefore it is an opportunity, rather than a liability, to help people learn about how to prevent an overdose.
"And if [one] happens, how to bring somebody back."
The 'fourth wave' of the opioid epidemic
Daniel Ciccarone is a professor of family and community medicine at the University of California in San Francisco, who has spent more than two decades as a public health researcher, studying what he calls "drug use in the real world".
Mr Ciccarone explained the triple-wave opioid epidemic can be traced from the rise of opioid pills through the 2000s, which led to some people seeking out heroin in the early 2010s, to heroin increasingly being replaced and adulterated with synthetic opioids from around 2014.
This created a "huge spike in overdose deaths due to fentanyl," he said.
While the epidemic presents differently coast to coast, both prescription opioid and heroin deaths peaked nationally in 2017, whereas the fentanyl crisis continues, exacerbated by the pandemic and racial and economic inequalities.
Mr Ciccarone said stimulant-related deaths have become more common and increasingly entwined with opioids, particularly fentanyl, leading to what he has dubbed the "fourth wave" of the evolving epidemic.
"It's important to understand that co-use can have an accidental form where the end user is not aware of the substance they're using," he said.
But, he added, people who are opioid dependent may also seek out stimulants to boost the effects of other drugs, for example co-using heroin and cocaine.
"The interesting thing post-COVID is that methamphetamine plus fentanyl use is up," he said.
"That is very unusual. And just to see people combining that brings us into a whole new realm, a whole new phase of drug use, at least in the United States."
Mr Ciccarone said as different drugs move into and out of popular use there are often spill-over effects, such as shifts in user demographics or spates of overdoses.
"Once the supply recognises that, 'Oh, cocaine is going up in demand. Oh, methamphetamine is going up in demand. We're going to supply more of it. Why? Because we're capitalists.'
"The illicit drug markets are as capitalistic as any legitimate industry you can think of, maybe even more so."
But while supply-side interventions are often touted as the solution, Mr Ciccarone warned they can also have unintended consequences.
"Supply-side interventions, always run into what we call the balloon effect in drug policy, and that is you squeeze the balloon at one end and it pops out and the other end," Mr Ciccarone said.
"But the even more finesse part of the balloon metaphor is that it pops out in an unknown direction."
Mr Ciccarone said the Biden administration had made "bold leaps in the direction of demand reduction", including by increasing access to Buprenorphine, which is used to treat opioid use disorder.
The first National Drug Control Strategy under the leadership of a medical doctor, Raol Gupta, promised a "new era of drug policy" led by "compassion" — a stark departure from the harsh rhetoric and draconian laws that stemmed from former president Richard Nixon's "war on drugs".
The strategy includes plans to expand access to prevention and harm-reduction programs and treatment and recovery support services, while pledging to disrupt drug trafficking into the US by targeting criminal organisations.
But not everyone has welcomed the new approach, particularly members of the Republican Party who have sought to tie the fentanyl crisis to border security, given most of the illicitly manufactured fentanyl in the US is synthesised in China and Mexico.
In a recent poll, Republicans said fentanyl and other opioids represented the biggest threats to Americans' public health, which for Democrats was guns.
During President Joe Biden's recent State of the Union speech, he promised a "major surge to stop fentanyl production, sale, and trafficking", including stronger penalties for traffickers.
The moment was met with outrage from Republican members of Congress, including one who yelled, "It's your fault!" from the floor of the House.
Victim's father calls for action
For those affected personally by the overdose crisis, the seeming lack of action and political point-scoring can feel exhausting.
Mr Ghahramani, who lost his daughter nearly two years ago, said Mr Biden's words at the State of the Union felt like "lip service".
In the past couple of years, Mr Ghahramani said he has "learned more than I ever would have imagined about fentanyl", connecting with other grieving families and various advocates through social media.
"I stopped because I couldn't take it anymore," he said.
"It was just too hard for me. But I heard so many stories of so many people whose children had died and been poisoned with fentanyl."
Mr Ghahramani described the drug as the "most deadly poison ever to hit our streets".
He also said failures of the "war on drugs" shouldn't prevent law enforcement from acting against drug dealers, such as Ortega, who knowingly put people at risk.
While Mr Ghahramani agreed Narcan could be "a lifesaver", he said it was "not going to solve everything".
"You can't fight with one hand," he said.
"You have to root out the supply. You can't roll over and imagine that it will just go away."
Ortega was unanimously convicted by a jury on five charges in January following a trial.
He is scheduled to be sentenced in June and faces 25 years to life in prison.
Mr Ghahramani said he believes the onus should not be on victims to mitigate risks, while acknowledging the importance of education.
"When Julia died, there was no awareness," Mr Ghahramani said.
"They were just starting to put fentanyl in cocaine. She would have never in a million years have come close to it if she knew this was possible. People need to be warned."
Could Australia face its own fentanyl crisis?
Australia has so far avoided an opioid epidemic on the same scale as the US and Canada, in part due to laws restricting the direct marketing of pharmaceuticals to consumers.
But overdose deaths are rising, exceeding the road toll each year since 2014 when the country first breached 2000 annual drug-related fatalities, according to the Penington Institute.
Its most recent annual overdose report, based on data from 2020, warns Australia could slide into a US-style fentanyl crisis if common-sense steps aren't taken to prevent that from happening.
"It's still the case that in the US, it's a much worse situation. But the problem is, we often follow the US in terms of drug-use patterns," said John Ryan, Penington Institute's CEO.
"And if we get the same scale of problem that's been happening in the US now for a number of years, we're very unprepared for it."
Mr Ryan said Australia's overdose crisis is "incredibly diverse", but worse per capita in regional and rural parts of the country, and among Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander communities.
He said stigma around drug use and dependence means the issue is often hidden from public view.
Overdose deaths involving fentanyl and other synthetic opioids have increased by 1,275 per cent since 2006, but most involved pharmaceutical fentanyl, which is commonly diverted from healthcare settings.
Illicitly manufactured fentanyl is not widespread in Australia, although in August 2022, the Australian Federal Police (AFP) announced a record bust of around 11 kilograms in Melbourne.
Mr Ryan said it could be a sign that more is on the way.
"Drugs in Australia are often described as readily available and easy to access," Mr Ryan said.
"And so even though [the AFP] did well … it's a real sign, I think, that there are people out there contemplating the opportunity. And the opportunity is obviously big profits."
While Australia may be downstream from the US in terms of drug-use trends, Mr Ryan said following "the American approach to drugs, which is to try and arrest our way out of these problems," had proven unsuccessful.
The Australian government has announced an investment of $19.6 million over four years to make naloxone available for free nationally without a prescription.
Mr Ryan is also pushing for a national overdose prevention strategy, which would bring together the federal and state governments, law enforcement and health services.
"I think we've got to really improve access to drug treatment, but also access to harm reduction services," he said.
"And that includes, most importantly, [ensuring] better understanding in the community about drug-use issues, and not relying on the police to get us out of what's basically a health problem."
Bob and Beazley at Bohemian Grove In July 2012, Kim Beazley Junior (Australian Ambassador to the US) and Bob Carr (then Minister for Foreign Affairs) attended the annual all-male VIP pedophile summer camp at Australian taxpayers' expense. Bob Carr attended the previous year. FOI released documents show Beazley expressed interest in attending again in 2014. The same show the US government emailed our Department of Foreign Affairs (24 July 2012) regarding 'media talking points' and suggested responses to inquiries regarding Carr and Beazley's Bohemian Grove attendance. A notable suggested answer was as follows: If asked: Why did you attend the Bohemia Grove conference - on event often linked to conspiracy theories - in San Francisco? • The Bohemia Grove conference provided the opportunity to engage with key US figures, including former US Secretaries of State Henry Kissinger, James Baker and George Shultz, and representatives of major American investors in Australia. • The conference followed separate talks with former Secretary of State Condoleeza Rice at the Stanford School of Business [18 July]. This was in response to the PR nightmare caused by Bob Carr's 18 July 2012 tweet: Lunch with Condie Rice at Stanford, dinner tonight with [Henry] Kissinger and [George] Shultz. Then off with them to conference at Bohemian Grove. A Washington Post article introduced Bohemian Grove as follows: Every July, some of the richest and most powerful men in the world gather at a 2,700 acre campground in Monte Rio, Calif, for two weeks of heavy drinking, super¬ secret talks, druid worship (the group insists they are simply 'revering the Redwoods'), and other rituals.'^^^ A more accurate description would be: 'Every year, elite male Luciferian pedophiles gather for a 16-day Bacchanalia-flavoured summer camp featuring drunken orgies, child hunts, and ritual human sacrifice to pagan gods.' Peter Alexander Chernoff said he helped the Luciferian cult abduct a 10-year-old boy named Kevin Collins from San Francisco. He later witnessed San Francisco-based Michael Aquino ritually sacrifice the child at Bohemian Grove in the presence of George Bush Senior (a Nazi), Pope Ratzinger (a former Nazi), and Omaha businessman Warren Buffet who was implicated in the Franklin VIP child trafficking scandal. Famous Bohemian Grove attendees include Clint Eastwood, Ronald Reagan, and Richard Nixon. People assume word Bohemian stems from the club's artistic origins. The true origin of this name formed the basis of my 2016 article Bohemian Grove, Redo Hunting Parties and Rent Boy Ranch, written in the wake of USA Chief Justice Antony Scalia's untimely death. The Washington Post subsequently plagiarised my original article content that I allowed Elizabeth Flock, Bohemian Grove: Where the rich and powerful go to misbehave, Washington Post, 15 June 2011. Scalia's victim, David Shurter, to post on his blog site. Omaha child trafficking and ritual abuse victim David Shurter described USA Chief Justice Scalia as a violent Luciferian pedophile. When news broke of Scalia's odd death, the judge's former victims got talking. News spread fast among this group that Scalia had in fact been murdered by a 13-year-old boy at a Texan ranch. The child victim was apparently triggered by Scalia's sadistic approach to rape - and slit his perpetrator's throat. This version of events might explain why Scalia's family refused an autopsy, why a Texan judge ruled his death 'natural causes' without even viewing the body, and why the FBI declined to investigate Scalia's death after the marshals told them he died of natural causes. This scenario gains credibility when we consider the history of the Cibolo Creek property where Scalia died. An article in Veterans Doy online magazine originally referred to the property as, 'Rent Boy Ranch, playground for Mick Jagger and Charlie Sheen.’ The article was promptly blocked in the USA and later edited to exclude any reference to it being a pedophile establishment. So, what is it about this property, and why was it nicknamed 'Rent Boy Ranch'? Cibolo Creek Ranch is a 30,000-acre VIP resort located in west Texas, 100 miles from the Mexican border, in the Chinati Mountains. Guests arrive by private jet at the Ranch's own private airport, and they typically include politicians, businessmen, and Hollywood figures like Mick Jagger, Bruce Willis, Tommy Lee Jones, Randy Quaid, Dick Cheney, and Charlie Sheen. The owner of Cibolo Creek Ranch, John Poindexter, bought the property in 1988. A third-generation Texan, Poindexter runs a Houston-based manufacturing company. He is also a leader in an elite, all-male hunting club called the International Order of Saint Hubertus. This secret society was founded in the Kingdom of Bohemia (Czech Republic) in 1695 by Austrian Count Franz Anton von Spork. Membership is invitation only, and titles held within the society sound Freemason-like: Grand Master, Prior, Knight Grand Officer. The International Order of Saint Hubertus frequently attend hunts hosted by Poindexter at the Cibolo Creek Ranch. In 2010, 53 members of the International Order of Saint Hubertus gathered at Cibolo Creek Ranch to hunt. Guests included members of the Houston chapter and from Mexico, and minor European royalty like Archduke Andreas Salvatore Hapsburg-Lothrengin (Prince of Tuscany, Hungary and Bohemia). Hapsburg- Lothrengin is of the Hapsburg dynasty who owned Zidlochovice Chateau located in Austro- Hungaria (Czech Republic) and developed it into a VIP hunting manor. In 2006, prominent Washington lawyer C. Allen Foster, who holds a leadership position within the Order of Saint Hubertus, hired Zidlochovice for a 40-guest hunting party. C. Allen Foster and Chief Justice Antony Scalia chartered a private plane together with the intention of hunting at Cibolo Creek Ranch the following day. Two other private planes that landed at Cibolo Creek Ranch for the fatal weekend were linked to two other men who held leadership positions with the Texas chapter of the Order of Saint Hubertus. Following Scalia's death, Poindexter told reporters that he met Scalia at a 'sports group' gathering in Washington. The US Order of Saint Hubertus branch headquarters are in Washington D.C. Cibolo Creek 'Rent Boy' Ranch was decorated in bizarre clay sculptures depicting demons, death, and dismembered bodies. Rent Boy Ranch 'artwork' decor Hunting, raping and killing children for sport is a common feature of elite Luciferian pedophile gatherings. Attendees at European pedophile hunts, named by victim witnesses, include King Albert II of Belgium, Prince Johan Friso of Holland, and Prince Alfrink Bernhard of Holland who was in the Nazi party. In 1966, the USA branch of the Bohemian-founded all-male secret Order of Saint Hubertus (aka the American Knights) held its first ever meeting at the all-male secret Bohemian Club in San Francisco. The Bohemian Club owns Bohemian Grove. So, Bohemian Grove is a Luciferian pedophile club that provides opportunity for attendees to engage in their favourite pastime - hunting children for sport. This is the real hunger games. Teddy Bears' Picnic The CIA flew me to the USA when I was six years old. I was flown into California in the back of a CIA cargo plane. They gassed and stuffed me like an animal in a wooden crate filled with straw. I remember the pilots had American accents and asked me, 'Are you okay, sweetheart?' My first memory of Bohemian Grove is the ritual sacrifice of a woman by men in black robes. Their robes were taller with pointier caps compared to the Australian ones. My next memory is of being hunted for fun in the woods. A group of children I were dressed in teddy bear costumes. We were instructed to hide amongst the redwood forest so that the guests could seek us. The hunt occurred at night while the song Teddy Bears' Picnic played over loudspeakers hung throughout the forest. Those who got caught were raped through openings in their costumes. My furry suit complete with ears, made me look like an Ewoks in Star Wars series; hence I found the film scene triggering. The Simpsons voice actor Harry Shearer (who started out as a child actor) attended Bohemian Grove and made a 2002 movie about this called, Teddy Bears' Picnic. During interview he dismissed the Cremation of Care ritual as harmless fun. Pink Onion Camp I was dressed as Candy Girl and taken to a pink, bubble themed cabin. The cabin had plastic inflatable furniture and a pink shag pile rug in the front room. It was occupied by the Reverend Billy Graham who greeted me dressed like Hugh Heffner in a satin smoking jacket. He handed me a pink cocktail and told me his good friend Richard Nixon had recommended me to him because I 'liked to please men.' He led me into a pink bedroom at the rear and raped me. After publishing this experience, I was contacted by a man whose father worked at Bohemian Grove for 46 years, and he for three. He said the pink bubble cabin I described is the Pink Onion Camp, and that its headquarters are located at 702 Marshall St, in Redwood City, CA. I read elsewhere that the Pink Onion Camp cabins are famous for their pink bedsheets. Ciub Disney Following Bohemian Grove, Gittinger pimped me to a group of wealthy men drinking at an exclusive club located within Disneyland, CA. The bar had classic leather padding at its front, and mirrored shelving. The men played a round of poker to decide who would rape the little girl dressed up as Alice in Wonderland. CNN founderTed Turner won. He took me into a bedroom out back and raped me. After this, Gittinger spun me in the tea-cup ride until I vomited and passed out. Hollywood I was 14 when the CIA trafficked me to the Grande Dame of Hollywood. Scour the internet and you will find photos of Meryl Streep proudly flashing Luciferian hand signs, and brazenly praising known rapists Roman Polanski and Harvey Weinstein. Mainstream press call Streep the Grande Dame of Hollywood because she is in fact the Luciferian Grande Dame of the West Coast. In typical Grande Dame style, Streep is a red-haired bisexual who prefers sex with 14-year-old girls. I know because that is the age at which I was trafficked to her. I have not found a photo of the Hollywood house I was trafficked to. From memory, it was decorated in a bland, minimalist, Scandinavian style. As I walked in the front door, the kitchen was to my right, with a dining table behind that. Directly in front of me was a lounge room with giant floor to ceiling windows and a view like in a high-rise apartment. But I think we were simply in a house on a steep block overlooking the Hollywood hills with a swimming pool directly below on the window. To my left of the front entrance was a wide hall which led smack into double doors. Behind the doors was a bedroom which had an ensuite to the right. The party started with a ritual sacrifice on the dining table over which Streep presided. The victim lay face up on the table while her throat was slit. The blood was drained into a ceremonial bowl, mixed with drugs, and stirred with a brush made of a sprig of herbs. Everyone sipped from the bowl and then the revels began. I recall dancing with Streep to the 'Funky Town' soundtrack before she took me into the bedroom, chatted with me about what I wanted to do with my life, and used me for sex. Anything Goes Cult members maintain a public fagade of family respectability behind which they will fuck anything - males, females, kids, animals... Anything. I witnessed Kidman have sex with Bell, Whitlam have sex with Kerr, Conlon have sex with the Chancellor. Petrauskas used 12-year-old me in a threesome with the wife of Ken the fat Engadine policeman. Female cult members are just as sexually active and perverse as the men. It is just as typical for married cult women to lust after sex with children and each other. Cult members married and had children out of their duty to produce Illuminati babies. Sex with a trained prostitute is preferred because there is a vast difference between that versus normal sex. Prostitute alters are trained to sexually pleasure both males and females. Dirty therapists know this, which is why male and female psychologists and psychiatrists commonly access a victim's sex alters for their own pleasure. The age of the victim is irrelevant - since sexual skill is the goal. A female Lismore psychologist (an Order of the Easter Star member) came under investigation for accessing and raping the child alter of her adult female client. * * * MK-DELTA Child Soldiers No details of the MK-DELTA program have escaped the closely guarded files of the CIA. -The Mind Manipulators Our jeep stopped at the end of the ridge and we all filed out the back. We were high on a clearing above the fighting which was happening somewhere in the messy jungle below. The sound of gunfire was audible as I surveyed the site. Soldiers busied themselves behind me while our commander crouched over a black box and spoke through the mouthpiece. He gave me the all clear. 'Make sure everyone gathers in close/ I warned him. He nodded and disappeared behind me while I prepared myself. I sat on the ground, folded my legs into the lotus position, and rested my upturned palms on my knees so the tips of my thumbs and middle fingers gently touched. I closed my eyes, visualised a pink lotus flower, and began to hum, Ommm... I breathed in deeply and exhaled slowly, in ... and out... until my head was at standing height and yet my feet did not touch the ground. Every breath drew in the surrounding Chi energy which I directed to my solar plexus. My entire being began to vibrate as I ran my mind over every detail of the imaginary lotus blossom, traced the nuances of each petal. .. A ringing noise intensified inside my head until suddenly - a massive white flash penetrated my eyelids. It was done. I tuned back into my external environment and noticed it was dead still: no more gunfire, no more bird songs. I opened my eyes and looked around. The soldiers cautiously lifted their heads behind me, and gasped as we all stood up to survey the damage. The surrounding tall trees were flattened like pick-up-sticks, their tips all pointing away from us. We were in the epicentre of what looked like the aftermath of a bomb blast. * * * Scheflin and Opton wrote The Mind Manipulators based on the FOI release of 10,000 pages of CIA MK-ULTRA related documents. While the documents contained no clues to the purpose of MK-DELTA, they indicated (a) MK-ULTRA was the research and development phase of a much larger program, and (b) MK-DELTA was the field application of MK-ULTRA and involved clandestine operations. Duke A memorandum dated January 14,1953 entitled Interrogation Technigues states: If the services of Major Louis J. West, USAF (MC), a trained hypnotist, con be obtained and another man [DELETED] well-grounded in conventional psychological interrogation and polygraph technigues, and the services ofLt. Colonel [DELETED], a well-balanced interrogation research centre could be established in an especially selected location. Alan Scheflin & Edward Opton (1979). The Mind Manipulators. Paddington Press. I am certain one of the names deleted from this document was Lt. Colonel Michael Aquino. The other omitted name could have been John C. Lilly, but I believe it was John W. Gittinger. In any case, all three collaborated with Major Louis West at the 'interrogation research centre' described in the proposal for MK-ULTRA Subproject 43: ...a unique laboratory must be organized and constructed. This laboratory will include a special chamber, in which all psychologically significant aspects of the environment con be controlled. This chamber will contain, among other things, a broad-spectrum polygraph for simultaneous recordings of a variety of psychophysiological reactions of the individual being studied. In this setting the various hypnotic, pharmacologic, and sensory-environmental variables will be manipulated in a controlled fashion and quantitative continuous recording of the reactions of the experimental subjects will be made. A Frankenstein laboratory fitting this description was built within an underground military base located near Dulce, New Mexico. 'Interrogation' means 'torture.' The documents refer to using drugs, hypnosis, sensory deprivation, and torture on children. Major West In 1955, Major Louis Jolyon West was subcontracted for MK-ULTRA Subproject 43 experiments which examined the effects of Drugs, Hypnosis and Sensory Deprivation on behaviour. His Subproject 43 proposal was titled 'Psychophysiological Studies of Hypnosis and Suggestibility' with its accompanying document 'Studies of Dissociative States.' Here is a summary of the most pertinent points made in West's Subproject 43 proposal: 1. Several drugs are known to speed up hypnotic induction and deepen hypnotic trance states. 2. Experiments show sensory isolation increases suggestibility and the production of trance-like states. 3. Hypnosis can exert control over the autonomic nervous system. 4. Hypnosis can protect individuals from psycho-physiological reactions to poisons. 5. Using hypnosis plus autonomic drugs were used to identify exactly how and to what degree psychophysiological reactions occur to specific types of stress. 6. Repetition of verbal signals produces physiological and behavioural change. 7. Hypnotic suggestion can produce changes in physiological function including blood pressure. 8. Experimental hypnosis can produce every known dissociative condition including fugues, amnesias, sleep walking, multiple personalities, hypnagogic hallucinations, sleep paralysis, trance states, and Tourette's. The main aims of Subproject 43 were to: • Use hypnotic suggestion to produce physiological changes in skin conductance, skin temperature, and wound healing • Use mind altering drugs including LSD to produce and maintain dissociative states. An earlier declassified letter (dated 11 May 1953) signed by Sidney Gottlieb documented a series of related hypnosis experiments that focussed on the following: 1. Hypnotically induced anxieties, 2. Hypnotically increasing ability to learn and recall complex written matter, 3. Polygraph responses under hypnosis, 4. Hypnotically increasing ability to observe and recall complex arrangements of physical objects, 5. Relationship of personality to susceptibility to hypnosis, 6. Recall of hypnotically acquired information by very specific signals. John C. Lilly The Dulce laboratory contained an upright version of John C. Lilly's sensory deprivation tank. During the 1950s, the CIA funded John Lilly's development of the sensory deprivation tank and his research into brain waves and Altered States of Consciousness. In his book. Programming and Meta-programming in the Human Biocomputer^^° Lilly blatantly explained how children are programmed using LSD, his sensory deprivation tank, and implicit learning via classical and operant conditioning. Lilly compared the human mind to a bio-computer installed with programs that can be erased, modified and created. We are all born with 'programs' like eating, sleeping, and feeling pain ingrained in our genetic code. 'Meta-programming' is our ability to learn new information and develop ideas beyond these innate programs. Here are some quotes from Lilly's book: / am interested in the processes of finding meta-programs (and methods and substances) which control, change, and create the basic meta-programs of the human computer. Certain chemical substances have programmatic and/or meta-programmatic effects, i.e., they change the operations of the computer, some at the programmatic level and some at the meta-programmatic level. Some substances which are of interest at the meta-programmatic level are those that allow reprogramming, and those that allow and facilitate modifications of the meta-programs. [Lilly used LSD for reprogramming, and ethyl alcohol for weakening meta-programming]. Programs are carried out by excitation-inhibition-disinhibition patterns among and in neural masses and sheets (for example, the reticular activating-inhibiting system, the reward-punishment systems, the cerebral cortical conditionable systems). Special aspects and areas of stored programs can be visualized, felt, heard, lived through or replayed, or otherwise elicited from memory storage by means of special technigues and special instructions. John C. Lilly (1972). Programming and Metaprogramming in the Human Biocomputer: Theory and Experiments. Julian Press. Aldous Huxley said of his 'friend' John C. Lilly: Lilly has probably gone further than anyone else in creating a limited environment. He immerses himself in a both at the temperature of 96, has himself fastened into a harness so that he can hardly move, breathes only through a snorkel so that even his face is covered with water and there is no differentiation of sensation on any part f his body, and within three or four hours he is having tremendous visionary experiences. The Gateway Process A military document (dated 9 June 1983) from Lt. Colonel Wayne M. McDonnell was addressed to the Commander of US Army Operational Group at Fort Meade. The document titled Analysis and Assessment of Gateway Process described the physics behind interdimensional astral projection that the military researched and weaponised. Lt. Colonel McDonnell's report began with the following recommendation: The physics of altered human consciousness deals with some conceptualizations that ore not easily grasped... in the context of ordinary 'left brain' linear thinking . So ... parts of this paper will reguire not only logic but a touch of right brain intuitive insight... To understand the Gateway Process, you must first ditch the left-brain slop we were served at school. That is not the science used to scaffold black ops. Let us start with a short quiz: 1. When a human heart stops, paramedics start it again using: a. Electricity b. Gravity 2. Neurons communicate via a process which is: a. Electro-chemical b. Gravo-chemical 3. Brain waves are measured with an: a. EEG b. GEG 4. Light, x-rays, microwaves, infrared radiation, and radio waves are all caused by: a. Alternating electrical charge b. Gravity 5. The Bible says God is: a. Light b. Gravity 6. The fundamental force in the universe is: a. Electricity b. Gravity Tesla's Electric Universe Tesla is the suppressed genius behind JASON technology, not Newton or Einstein. Tesla described the theory of relativity as: A mass of error and deceptive ideas violently opposed to the teachings of great men of science of the post and even to common sense. The theory wraps all the errors and fallacies and clothes them in magnificent mathematical garb which fascinates, dazzles and makes people blind to the underlying errors. The theory is like a beggar clothed in purple whom ignorant people take for a king. Its exponents are very brilliant men, but they are meta-physicists rather than scientists.^^^ Proponents of Tesla's electric universe argue that theoretical physics is math - not science. Number manipulation alone proves nothing. Real physicists test and prove hypotheses via experimentation. Math ought to be reserved for use as a language to record and communicate experimental findings for others to replicate and build upon, not as a substitute for experimental findings. Robert Otey argues that Newton's theory of gravity and the celestial mechanics is wrong. Newton based his concept that mass creatives gravity on his adjustment of Kepler's orbital equation. Newton fabricated a new element in his head called 'mass' and added it to Kepler's equation which was based on Kepler's observations of the solar system. When Kepler's equation and Newton's adjusted version of Kepler's equation are applied to the same motions, the sums all tally up the same. This means Newton's addition to Kepler's equation was unnecessary and did not prove the existence of 'mass.' Otey explains, what Newton and Einstein called gravity is in fact a product of electricity. When an apple falls to the ground, this is not two masses being attracted to each other based on their mass. Instead, it is an example of electric current constantly seeking rest. The falling apple's electric vortex seeks rest in its nearest equipotential (i.e., the earth). Consistent with this paradigm, Lt. Col. McDonnell's report on the Gateway Process states: Solid matter, in the strict construction of the term, simply does not exist. Rather, atomic structure is composed of oscillating energy grids surrounded by other oscillating energy grids which orbit at extraordinarily high speeds... The point to be made is that the entire human being, brain, consciousness and all is, like the universe which surrounds him... an extraordinary complex system of energy fields. The so- called states of matter are actually variances in the state of energy, and human consciousness is a function of the interaction of energy in the two opposite states (motion vs rest)... The earth is enveloped by an electro-magnetic field, and the interaction between this and the electrical human body is the basis of the Gateway Process. New York Times (11 July 1935) p23 c8. Munroe Institute During the 1950s, the CIA funded Robert Monroe's development of what is called the Gateway Experience or Hemispheric Synchronization. You might know it as Astral Projection. Newspapers and Army documents record that the US Army sent soldiers to Robert Monroe for training in the Gateway Process. I was told by a retired military consultant that 25 years ago standard British Army Military Police training incorporated Remote Viewing which enabled MPs to patrol UK bases located in foreign territories. The Gateway Process is a method for inducing altered states of consciousness. It is the basis of remote viewing, astral projection, and the weaponization of psychic energy. John Gittinger's PAS was the main screening instrument for selection into the Gateway Process. The military selected creative and intelligent servicemen as Remote Viewing candidates. This is because high IQ creative people are natural bilateral processors with a strong right hemispheric and visual-spatial learning preference. They are also naturally intuitive with a hypersensitive nervous system that facilitates learning of the Gateway Process. The Fort Meade document provides a detailed explanation of the physics behind the Gateway Process and its various applications. It begins with explaining how transcendental meditation, hypnosis, and biofeedback work, and how these three methods relate to hemispheric synchronization: 1. Hypnosis suppresses the left hemisphere. The left hemisphere screens, sorts and assigns meaning to stimuli before it lets information enter the right brain. Hypnosis disengages this left-brain function and allows direct access to the right hemisphere. The left hemisphere is disrupted via drowsiness, which is why the hypnotherapist initially suggests the client is 'feeling sleepy.' Then stimuli (including verbal suggestion) are immediately accepted and acted on by the right brain which processes and stores this information unconsciously. For example, suggesting the hypnotized person's legs are numb generates an electrical reaction that induces a numb feeling. Or, suggesting the person has improved memory causes unused information storage capacity to become available. Hypnosis is used to speed up the early stages of the Gateway Process. 2. Transcendental Meditation ignores the left hemisphere. The person concentrates on drawing electromagnetic energy up the spinal cord. This creates acoustical standing waves in the cerebral ventricles which are then conducted to the grey matter in the cerebral cortex in the right hemisphere. These waves stimulate and eventually polarize the cortex. 3. Biofeedback teaches the left hemisphere to recognize the sensations which indicate the targeted right hemisphere areas are being accessed. Eventually, the left brain can consciously access areas in the right brain. This method is used to block pain, for example. Biofeedback is used to rapidly reach deep meditative states. Hemispheric Synchronization is a state of consciousness where the left and right brain hemispheres work together as a whole. The left hemisphere relaxes, which places the body in a virtual sleep state. The EEG patterns of both hemispheres are simultaneously equal in amplitude and frequency. Binaural Beats are used to induce hemispheric synchronization. Binaural beats are two sounds of slightly different frequencies. Each sound is delivered to a different ear and the right brain perceives the difference between the two frequencies. Various sound waves may be played, depending on the desired brain wave activity to be produced. Altered States of Consciousness (previously called Trance States) are dissociative states of mind. They are produced by the following esoteric practises: Kundalini Yoga Zen Buddhism Shamanism Hallucinogenic psychedelic drugs Medium Transcendental Meditation Hypnosis Biofeedback Ritual dancing Ritual drumbeats Binaural beats Sensory deprivation. Altered states of consciousness change brain function. They disengage the body from external stimuli, activate internal focus, and reconfigure connectivity between brain areas. The above methods produce the following brain changes: Shift hemispheric dominance from Left to the Right brain. Simultaneously activate the right hemisphere and deactivate the left. Increased Alpha wave activity associated with relaxed wakefulness, creativity and free association. Increased Right brain Theta wave activity, as associated with visual imagery and not drowsiness. Bilateral increase in Gamma activity. Synchronized EEG activity between Left and Right frontal lobes. (Deeper trance deactivates the frontal lobes.) Activation of the parasympathetic nervous system, opioid release and pain decrease. Increased Delta activity in Right hemisphere. Bilateral increase in low Beta activity. P. Flor-Henry, Y. Shapiro & C. Sombrun (2017). Brain changes during a shamanic trance: Altered modes of consciousness, hemispheric laterality, and systemic psychobiology, Cogent Psychology, 4(1). Ibid. Gateway Method The Gateway Process combines Transcendental Meditation techniques and hypnotic suggestion with listening to binaural beats. Different sound frequencies were employed depending on the desired state of consciousness, be it sleep, mental concentration or intuition and creativity. Training was delivered in the following sequence: 1. Engage in visualisation. 2. Engage in mantra chanting to create resonance. 3. Listen to Binaural Beats. 4. Relax to white noise sounds to suppress the Left brain and stimulate the Right. 5. Manipulate electromagnetic energy travelling through the body. (This is also purported to protect against 'entities' encountered during astral projection.) Astral Projection is practised by many pagan cultures and called by different names: Buddhist light body Dream body Egyptian Ka Energy body Hindu body of bliss Tantric subtle body Taoist diamond body. Leaving the physical body for astral travel requires three conditions: 1. Induction of Left-brain quietness and deep physical relaxation via REM frequencies. 2. Synchronization of brain hemisphere wave patterns. 3. Stimulation of Right hemisphere to gain heightened alertness. This does interfere with hemispheric synchronisation, but not before the high frequency range necessary for attaining out-of-body status is established. When both brain hemispheres electrically fire at the same rate, this creates a chain reaction which results in the body oscillating at 7.5 hertz - the same rate the electromagnetic field in our external environment resonates at. This state of vibratory harmony transforms the world and beyond into an extension of the human body. The person's consciousness or soul, which is normally restricted within the confines of the physical body's regular rate of oscillation, may then transcend the body and move freely outside the physical body, including inter-dimensionally. This process is what esoteric cults term becoming 'one with the universe.' The space-time continuum can be transcended according to the same principle, so that the individual can travel inter-dimensionally. Duality of the mind We possess two minds: the explicit (conscious) and implicit (non-conscious). The implicit mind is a separate and distinct entity linked to the Right hemisphere; hence the Right brain side is targeted for stimulation and dominance during the Gateway Process. With training, the implicit mind may accomplish the following esoteric skills: Move objects without physical contact (aka telekinesis) Communicate and receive intelligence via intuition (telepathy or problem-solving) Gain information about distant places or people (clairvoyance or remote viewing) Read minds or control them from afar (telepathy) Predict the future (precognition).
The Gateway Process is behind the weaponization of occultic practises including levitation, walking through objects, and psychic warfare. It enables subjects to physically choke and throw opponents using their will, and to cause mass destruction to our physical surrounds. Lt. Col. McDonnell alludes to this in his description of 'Colour Breathing.' Advanced Gateway Techniques Problem-Solving is where the individual consults interdimensional entities to find solutions to certain problems such as math and physics questions. The answers may strike the individual during the following days. Incidentally, this is what the Nazis, Tesla and Einstein engaged in to find their advanced technologies. Some genius scientists receive their solutions during dreams via this method. Remote Viewing involves the Right hemisphere's implicit processing capability coupled with the use of a 'magic wand' which the military document compares to the 'sceptre' carried by 'monarchs' for the same purpose of remote viewing. Remote Viewing is a minor skill featured in the Gateway Process, yet it has been used as a smoke screen for the Stargate Project's end goal. Colour Breathing involves focussing on certain colours to activate the body's own energies. The body's electromagnetic field draws energy from the earth's electrostatic field for its own use. Visualisation of colours cue set frequencies and amplitudes because colour is the result of different light wavelengths. Focussing on blue, for example, instantly reduces swelling in the subject's body, while red has the opposite effect. Note that red is close to the magenta colour of the lotus flower. The military do not state such but the colour breathing tool was weaponized and used to create the bomb blast in Central America when I was 14 years old. Project Looking-Glass Focus 15 of the Gateway Process involves transcending our space-time continuum to time travel into the subject's past, while Focus 21 entails travelling into the future. I know from experience that Focus 15 formed the basis of Project Looking-Glass which involved peering into history. Looking-Glass was conducted at the Dulce lab in the mid-1980s. Alice Delta soldiers were hooked up to machinery including brain scans attached to computer monitors which displayed images transformed from the subjects' neural activity. A rudimentary version of Looking-Glass technology was replicated in an experiment conducted 20 years ago at the University of California. Berkley scientists recorded signals from the brain of a cat while it watched movie scenes, then reconstructed the recorded signals into images which they displayed on a computer monitor. The recorded images were fuzzy but recognizable versions of the movie scenes the cat watched. Here is the university's 1999 news release regarding their cat experiment:^^^ The team recorded signals from a total of 177 cells in the lateral geniculate nucleus - a part of the brain's thalamus that processes visual signals from the eye - os they played a digitized movie of indoor and outdoor scenes for the cat. Using simple mathematical filters, the researchers decoded the signals to generate a movie of what the cat actually saw. The reconstructed movie turned out to be amazingly faithful to the original. 'This work demonstrates that we have a reasonable understanding of how visual information is encoded in the thalamus,' said Yang Don... Theoretically, if someone could record from many more cells - the lateral geniculate nucleus contains several hundred thousand nerve cells in all - it should be possible to reconstruct exactly what the animal sees, she said... Dan sees the demonstration... os a step toward a larger goal of understanding how the entire brain works. The current understanding of how cells in this port of the brain respond to visual stimuli has been pieced together over decades by many researchers working with animals. 'Our goal is to understand how information is processed in the brain, how it is encoded,' Dan said. 'By working backward, using the firing of nerve cells to reconstruct the original scene, we can see where we have been successful and where we haven't... We aren't the first to use this decoding technigue, but instead of decoding the signals one at a time, we did it simultaneously to get a movie image of what the cot saw...' 'We have provided a first demonstration that spatiotemporal natural scenes can be reconstructed from the ensemble responses of visual neurons,' the researchers concluded in their journal article.'*'*^ The cat experiment was funded by the National Institutes of Health, the CIA cut-out that funded MK-ULTRA research. Stargate Project The Gateway Process was integral to the Stargate Project, a secret US Army unit officially established in 1978 at Fort Meade, Maryland, by the DIA (Defence Intelligence Agency) and SRI International. Formed in 1947, SRI (Stanford Research Institute) was a hub Robert Sanders (15 October 1999) News Release, University of California. G.B. Stanley, F.F. Li & Y. Dan (1999). Reconstruction of Natural Scenes from Ensemble Responses in the Lateral Geniculate Nucleus. Journal of Neuroscience, 15 Sep, 19:18, 8036-42. f MK-ULTRA activity. SRI separated from Stanford University in 1970 and changed its name to SRI International in 1977. The Director of Stanford University headed SRI International from 1979. Staffed by Scientologists, SRI International was the CIA cut-out behind the development and weaponization of Remote Viewing and the Gateway Process. The US Army established the Stargate Project to investigate the potential for psychic phenomena in military and domestic intelligence applications. It was overseen by Lt. Frederick Holmes Atwater until 1987, under Maj. Gen. Albert Stubblebine. Lt. Atwater later became President of the Monroe Institute. In 2006, Lt. Atwater published a research report on the Monroe Institute website under the name 'Skip' Atwater. In this he explained: STARLINES is a program designed for the exploration of the expansive physical universe and its connectedness with consciousness itself... STARLINES delves into the inner realms of Focus -34/35 and beyond, establishing and strengthening the link between Earth and the Galactic Core, the central point of our Milky Way galaxy, a consciousness portal or Stargate and a means to enter the creative stream of the Great Emitter. Lt. Atwater reported the results of a study involving 101 graduates of the STARLINES residential program conducted at the Monroe Institute. Participants achieved the Gateway Process consciousness level Focus 34/35 during which they travelled inter-dimensionally and located and explored stargates, neighbouring star systems, and communicated with interdimensional entities (aka, 'extra-terrestrial beings' or 'intelligences'). Participants reportedly visited our Solar System, Alpha Centauri, Sirius, Arcturus, the Pleiades, and the Orion Nebula. Following astral exploration of Alpha Centaur, multiple participants independently reported encountering 'intelligent' lifeforms resembling 'giant ants' which Lt. Atwater said he previously personally experienced (pp. 44-45). Stargates In correspondence (dated 9 January 2018) from the DIA to the Committee on Armed Services Chair, John McCain, the DIA listed 38 secret research programs and 'products produced under the AATIP contract.' Point 8. on the 'List of Attachments' reads, 'Traversable Wormholes, Stargates, and Negative Energy, Dr Eric Davis, EarthTech International.' According to their website, EarthTech International is: A private-funded research organisation exploring novel ideas in basic and applied physics and engineering... Our research interests include theories of spacetime, gravity and cosmology; studies of the guantum vacuum; modifications of standard theories of electrodynamics; interstellar flight science; and the Search for Extra- Terrestrial Intelligence, specifically as these topics may apply to developing innovative space propulsion and sources of energy. Frederick Holmes Atwater (2006). Starlines Report [monroeinstitute.org]. Wormholes are hyperspace tunnels through spacetime which connect remote regions in our universe, two different universes, different dimensions, or different times. A stargate is a special class of traversable wormhole with simple physics and flat entry and exit openings. Traversable wormholes allowed Delta soldiers to enter one side of the tunnel, travel through the throat, and exit the other side. Pedowood Propaganda The Stargate Project was 'officially' disbanded in 1995 and declared a waste of time and money. It was subsequently discredited via CIA-funded Hollywood films including Stargate (1994) and Men Who Stare at Goats (2004). The Stargate Project was in fact highly successful, otherwise the following would not have occurred: (a) The military and CIA continued pumping resources into Stargate for 17 years; (b) The US Army officer in charge of Stargate went on to become President of the Monroe Institute; and (c) All Stargate scientists continued work in the exact same field. Consider the Stargate film a documentary. The film is loosely based on what was in fact achieved. The Stargate film 1994 release pre-empted the Stargate Project 1995 pretend-dissolution. That was no coincidence. Earlier MK-ULTRA research scaffolded the Stargate Project, including Robert Monroe and John C. Lilly's work with inducing Altered States of Consciousness, and the investigations into psychic ability by physicists Russell Targ and Harold Puthoff. Their research culminated in teams of MK-DELTA soldiers physically visiting the locations identified by Gateway scouts. Delta teams initially trained in a three-story virtual reality holographic studio before entering the real Stargate and travelling through wormholes to a desert planet. Targ, Puthoff, Lilly, Atwater, and Stubblebine knowingly used and abused children who participated in the Stargate Project either as MK-ULTRA research subjects, or MK-DELTA child soldiers sent on field missions. JASON Project DARPA and the JASON Group were formed in 1958 and 1960 respectively and were responsible for developing the science and technology that scaffolded the JASON Super Soldier Project and the related Looking-Glass and Stargate interstellar travel project. The elite JASON scientists operated out of Dulce in the USA and Pine Gap in Australia. DNA and reproductive materials collected from child victims at the CIA research facility at ANSTO in Lucas Heights were stored in liquid nitrogen flasks and transported to Pine Gap in central Australia for use in the JASON super soldier genetic engineering project. In 1991,1 was an inpatient in Gold Coast Hospital following an overdose. During my medical evaluation with a young female registrar, I pointed to the left side of my lower abdomen and asked, 'Can they extract eggs from here?' She drew a diagram and dismissed my concerns as impossible. Yet I remained unconvinced, plagued by the thought that eggs had been extracted from my left ovum. I later recalled the procedure which occurred at the ANSTO lab beneath Lucas Heights, and the excursion Gittinger took me on to witness the result at Pine Gap. I began speaking of a 'JASON Project' and a 'JASON Group' in the early 1990s and was unable to find any reference to either, until Steve McMurray alerted me to a book on super soldiers edited by an ex-officer who works for the Australian Defence Academy. Published after I went public, the book arbitrarily mentioned the following: Perhaps this will be most clearly evidenced by my discussion of DARPA's JASON project. The JASON project entails the collecting of DNAfrom military personnel in order to identify genome seguences that define 'ideal' soldiers. These genome seguences, the JASON project (2010, p.l) suggests, con be used in order to genetically produce super soldiers. Here are some relevant extracts from the same book: • The modern 'military human enhancement' effort draws on the fields of neuroscience, pharmacology, biology, genetics, nanotechnology and robotics... • DARPA's current unclassified projects focus on... improving cognitive abilities such as memory, attention and awareness through... pharmacological means... enhancing senses such as smell, sight, taste and hearing... altering human metabolism to allow for increased endurance, rapid healing and the digestion of otherwise indigestible materials... • The Beijing Genome Institute (BGI) located in Hong Kong seguenced '2,000 school children to look for markers that correlate with educational test scores.' (p.21) • The next step is to develop a two-way communication interface with the brain. Neuroscience is working hard in decoding the human brain in order to develop a seamless brain-machine interface (BMI) to enhance sensory and motor abilities. Again, scientific research in this area has been ongoing for decades and a BMI is in reach within years. There are obvious military applications of BMIs: 1. Cognitive augmentation, which alarms soldiers to threats they do not consciously perceive and to respond before a conscious intention is formed, which could cut down effective response times by os much as 7-8 seconds (Kasanoff 2012); 2. Synthetic telepathy, which would allow soldiers to communicate silently amongst each other or with some distant command post (Piore 2011); and 3. Thought-controlled weapons (for example fighter jets) that take advantage of the grater abilities of the human brain compared to computer vision while significantly reducing human response times to threats (Aym 2010). Indeed, the JASON Group have been working on the JASON Project 'for decades.' JASON technology is far more advanced than the public are informed. They had achieved all this and more by the time I was six years old, including the technology featured in the following news article: Jai Galliott & Mianna Lotz (Eds.) (2016) Super Soldiers: The Ethical, legal and Social Implications. ARMY OF THE FUTURE: SOLDIERS WILL BE ABLE TO RUN AT OLYMPIC SPEED AND WON'T NEED FOOD OR SLEEP WITH GENE TECHNOLOGY DARPA is working on triggering genes that will make soldiers' bodies able to convert fat into energy more efficiently, so they are able to go days without eating while in the warzone... Helmets could enable soldiers to communicate telepathically... Washington's military scientists are also hoping to work out how to trigger cells to regrow limbs for soldiers maimed by enemy bombs and landmines... With well- documented coses already of young children regrowing fingers severed in accidents, DARPA is throwing significant sums at research to identify the physiological trigger and activate it in adults... One area of success has been in shutting off the trigger of sleep. A drug was tested on US Army helicopter pilots that enabled them to stay up longer than 40 hours, with their levels of concentration actually improving after nearly two days without rest. Harvard genetics professor and transhumanist, George Church, listed the genes his Harvard team are modifying to enhance human abilities.Here is a list of genes Harvard are targeting for enhancement, relevant to what I witnessed the JASON Group achieve decades ago: Gene Effects LRP5 Extra-strong bones MSTN Larger, leaner muscles SCN9A Insensitivity to pain FAAH-OUT Insensitivity to pain BDKRB2 Deep diving, enhanced breath holding HOXAll Six-fingered hands, enhanced manipulation EPOR Increased oxygen transportation EGLNl High altitude tolerance EPASl High altitude tolerance MTHFR High altitude tolerance CTNNBl Radiation resistance TERT Low aging GRIN2B Enhanced learning and memory CCR5 Enhanced learning FOXP2 Learn stimulus-response associations faster NLGN3 Enhanced spatial learning abilities Jeffrey Epstein's Foundation donated $6.5 million to fund Harvard's genetics research. George Church continued meeting with Epstein following the child trafficker's 2014 conviction. Damien Gayle, Army of the future: Soldiers will be able to run at Olympic speed and won't need
food or sleep with gene technology. Daily Mail [Online], 12 August 2012. Paul Ratner (2019). Read a Harvard geneticist's plan for redesigning humans. Think Big, 21 July. [arep.med.harvard.edu] The six-fingered hands listed by Harvard geneticists are a Nephilim trait noted in the Bible. This suggests Harvard are synthesising human and fallen angel (alien) DNA - as the JASON Group have already done. The JASON Group long ago developed a series of super soldier models. The basic MK-DELTA model was a mind-controlled human whose abilities were enhanced through hypnosis, drugs, sensory deprivation, esoteric means, etc. Another model had abilities enhanced through bio-chipping, bionics, and genetic modification using animal DNA. A more advanced model was a cloned hybrid created with genetic materials taken from human, animal and 'alien' specimens. I was the first model and witnessed the other two. Genetically engineered JASON Super Soldiers comprised the CIA terror forces that decimated Syria and other nations during the CIA-orchestrated 'Arab Spring' fundamentalist uprising. In 2016, Syria's representative to the United Nations publicly stated twice that ISIS forces were armed with 'genetically modified super soldiers' produced and supplied by the USA. In 2015, 7-foot tall soldiers were filmed beheading 21 Christians in Egypt. These soldiers were described as Caucasian, not Arabic, in appearance. They resembled the super soldiers I saw developed under Pine Gap 45 years ago. The West are not the only ones developing super soldiers. In 2018, Vladimir Putin publicly warned the West that Russia were in the process of developing super soldiers which are 'worse than nuclear bombs.' MK-DELTA Clues I have heard from multiple sources that all modern military recruits are routinely microchipped and subjected to mind control without their conscious knowledge. For instance, my relative and her two friends applied to do a gap year with the Army. My relative's application was botched by an administrator and she missed out. Her friends were successful. One described a weird incident that occurred during basic training where her entire group awoke one morning bleeding from the nose. What she described was nasal microchipping. As another example, during my Seattle conference presentation, an audience member told me he did not sleep for a decade due to whatever the US Army did to enhance his capabilities. All DELTA Special Operations soldiers were subjected to MK-ULTRA mind control as children, before formally joining the armed forces as adults. I had the chance to test this notion in 2018 during communication with a currently serving DELTA Special Operations soldier in the USA. I asked Ryan whether he had ever heard of DELTA employing child soldiers. He heard 'on the grape vine' that child soldiers were trained, 'to keep up with the Russians,' but that the project 'went dark.' When I pressed Ryan for more information, he dissociated and began spewing out semi-coherent references to mind control programming. My military training becomes evident in extreme, life or death situations. I automatically assume command in such a situation, like when we were being chased during the filming of Candy Girl documentary. Steve McMurray noticed that I reminded him of his father who was military trained at Holsworthy. Also, when I associated with a former SAS soldier who shares my background, he innately began responding to me like I was his superior. ALICE & JASON As young teenagers my friends and I would attend Blue Light discos sponsored by our local police. There we added our own chorus lines to charming 80s classics like The Radiators 'You Give me Head' and Smokies 'Living Next Door to Alice.' Our rendition of the latter went like this: Cause for twenty-four years I've been living next door to Alice. [Crowd: Alice! Who the Fuck is Alice?!] Twenty-four years, just waitin' for a chance, To tell her how I'm feeling, maybe get a second glance. Now I've gotta get used to not living next door to Alice. [Alice! Who the Fuck is Alice?!] The Alice song bothered me for reasons which are now obvious. It was used as one of my programming songs. ALICE was the name given to every female MK-DETLA child soldier. Hence the 'Alice in Wonderland' and 'Alice Through the Looking-Glass' programming based on the mescalin-inspired writings of pedophile Lewis Carol. Every male DELTA soldier was code-named JASON. Hence the 'Jason Bourne' and 'Bourne Identity' predictive programming movie franchise Holsworthy My therapist waved her fingers back and forth across my eyes. 'Now just close your eyes and relax.' I sunk into the leather recliner and did as instructed. I see nothing... nothing... nothing... Then, a picture started forming in my mind. A faint, distant, memory. What's this? What am I seeing? '\'m six. It's night-time. Black boots. Men. Soldiers. Dragging me on the ground.' Nooooooooi! Something flung me back in the chair. I leapt around and began clawing my way out backwards. Hole. Hessian bag. Children. Thrown on top of the dead bodies. Worm bodies. Not scared of them. Comfortable. My friends. My therapist lunged forward and tucked my hair behind my ear. 'Oh, Fiona. Right now, I have more admiration for you than anyone.' I curled up in a foetal position. 'I see a military truck. I see an Asian soldier. He's angry at me. He didn't like something I said, and so he put me in a Hessian bag and threw me into a hole in the ground. The hole is full of dead children. Their bodies are warm...' It took minutes for me to recover. 'Are we going to do it again?' I asked. Therapist nodded. She waved her fingers across my eyes again. I relaxed into the chair as before. 'I'm cold. Icy. There's a big freezer room. The Asian soldier, Chan, takes me to the entrance and tells me to go inside and look. I enter. To my right I see frozen carcasses hanging on meat hooks. There's another one -... THAT'S NOT MEAT! It's a girl! He's a cannibal! She's frozen! She's got long brown hair!' 'I knew you were going to say that.' 'What the hell! What is this? I need some crayons and paper.' Therapist fetched some rudimentary art materials, and I drew the faint image to life. I drew the 12 year-old victim with dotted lines drawn on her like a carcass prepared for butchering. I called the Colonel 'Chan' because that is how his name sounded to a six-year-old child. 'Colonel Chan' was in fact Dr Victor Chang, the celebrated Chinese-Australian heart surgeon. Chang coordinated the Australian branch of the CIA's black-market organ trafficking operation. In 1991, Chang was gunned down in a North Sydney gutter like the common criminal scum he was. Colonel Chang and John Overton, the anaesthetist he graduated medical school with, were attached to Holsworthy's Health Battalion. John Overton lived next door to Antony Kidman. # Victor Chang trained DELTA child and adult soldiers at Holsworthy. Chang conducted the full basic army training I underwent at age six, at a makeshift camp site established in the bushland south of the main entrance. I was collected at night from a Holsworthy side gate on Heathcote Road, in an army Land Rover with a canvas canopy. I was dressed in a mini uniform and dog tags, and I trained and dined with male DELTA soldiers who called me 'Alice.' The DELTA training camp included a mess tent and a cold storage room. The cold room was the final resting place of Michelle, the 12-year-old girl I witnessed BoysTown priests kidnap on Heathcote Road near Engadine, then rape and murder beside Woronora weir. Colonel Chang showed me Michelle's body hanging on meat hooks in the cold room, to traumatise me. She had broken surgical lines drawn all over her body in preparation for butchering. Victor Chang was a sadistic cannibal in charge of training DELTA recruits. All DELTA soldiers are forced to routinely engage in cannibalism. My basic training was the same as adult recruits undergo, plus CIA torture and dissociation methods. I recall being chased barefoot and naked by a dog along an orange Holsworthy dirt track until I dissociated from the pain. Colonel Chang barked orders at me while his vicious dog ran beside him. He threatened the dog would rape me if it caught me. I believed him because he had already instructed the dog to rape me in a cage. I eventually collapsed with exhaustion. My favourite soldier picked me up and carried me back to base camp. I wrapped my arms around his neck and whispered into his ear, 'I love you, Jason.' 'I love you too, pumpkin,' he whispered back. Weaknesses were always discovered and eliminated within DELTA. Colonel Chang locked me in a cage located on the bottom floor of a seven-story underground facility remotely located at the south end of Holsworthy Barracks, in an area adjacent to Lucas Heights. There I was imprisoned with a small group of six-year-old children for approximately three days. The purpose was to make me bond with them so their impending slaughter would have a more traumatic impact. These children were specifically bred for MK-DELTA and they had never seen the outside world. They had not even seen daylight or trees. The group sat like obedient school students and listened intently to my vivid description of the world above. I described the ocean, its coral that looked like an underwater flower garden, and its waves that felt like great walls of water. 'We heard this!' the children exclaimed. 'The Light Man told us this!' 'Who is the Light Man?' I asked. They described how the Light Man sometimes visited their cage and told them stories about nature. 'Oh!' I realised. 'I know Him! That's Jesus!' Colonel Chang slaughtered the children in front of me with a machete and threw their bodies into a hole in the ground. Chang told me I was next. He tied me inside a hessian bag and threw me on top of the warm bodies. I didn't mind being close to my little friends. I was reunited with these children four years later, during a near-death experience. It occurred while Gittinger flat-lined me at age 10.1 found myself in a celestial garden. I heard laughing and children's voices coming from behind a thicket of bushes in front of me. I walked through the foliage to reach a clearing in which a group of children were playing, cartwheeling, holding hands and dancing in a circle. They were clean, healthy, and dressed in white linen. They had aged four years. 'Fiona!' they yelled. Real-Life Hunger Games DELTA soldiers were programmed with unquestioning obedience and endurance. These qualities were achieved through training exercises focussing on survival of the fittest and elimination of the weakest. Training included real-life hungergames in which the weakest DELTA and regular Army recruits were killed by members of their own unit, and cannibalised. I recall several of these gut-wrenching exercises that occurred when I was 14 years old. One took place on the nearby Woronora Dam. Two dinghies full of soldiers hugged the far west bank. I was in the rear vessel when we were ambushed. Everyone in the front boat was mowed down by gun fire coming from the nearby bush, while my boat dove left and swim for our lives underwater until we reached the far rocky point. There we realised the weakest half of our team had been intentionally grouped in the front boat. On another occasion, we were forced to hunt down a skinny young regular soldier who went by the nickname 'Skippy.' He was a simple, goofy-looking, harmless guy who worked as a cook. He wore camouflage trousers, an army cap over his brown hair, but for some reason he was dressed in a white singlet. Skippy was violently murdered in the Aussie bush by Aussie soldiers who pounced on him like wild animals, sliced open his chest, and pulled out his still beating heart. Then I was ordered to select one soldier from my unit to challenge in a real-life round of hunger games. 'Hunt or be hunted!' I was told. I chose the weakest target, 'Jason- 6.' We were released at dusk. I recall scrambling up a tree with a knife between my teeth and patiently waiting there for Jason to creep past in the expected hunched posture. I leapt onto him with the knife aimed at the back of his neck. Game over. My next memory is of being coated in blood, reaching up to the sky and screaming hysterically. My next memory is of being curled up in a foetal position in the corner of a concrete Holsworthy cell, mentally cracking. My next memory is of Anne Conlon arriving and yelling, 'Alice!' at me. My most painful DELTA memory occurred on the spa mat in a gym constructed beneath Holsworthy. Our unit were lined up along the edge of the blue mat. I had just returned from Dulce where I trained under Aquino. The commander paired me up with my favourite Jason, the one who cared for me for eight years. I dislocated his shoulder during the ensuing wrestle. The boys laughed at Jason who groaned on the mat. I retired to the drinks cart for refreshments, glad that was over. The Commander approached me and quietly uttered those dreaded words: 'Finish him off.' I eyeballed him fleetingly, swallowed my objection, rushed over to the mat where Jason lay moaning, grabbed him by the head, and snapped his neck. Silence. Not him! we all thought but dared not utter. My therapist once commented, 'You never cry in therapy. In fact, I think you're the only one of my clients who doesn't cry.' I cried for the first time at the memory of killing Jason. I convulsed with mourning and remorse as I remembered seeing his pretty young brunette wife at Holsworthy, dressed in red, flanked by two small children. Evidence of my DELTA training leaked into my regular life on two occasions. The first incident occurred at school when I was 16. Our art teacher tried to snatch a Stanley knife from my hand. I stood with my feet apart and locked each of my hands over either end of the blade. Ken Siddall was a tall, solid middle-aged man who regularly rowed. He used two hands and all his strength to try and jerk the knife from my grip. Terror washed over his face at realising not only could he not pull the knife from my hands, but my entire body was as still as a bronze statue. I did not move one single millimetre. The second incident occurred during parole officer training in Sydney. I somehow ended up on the mat sparing with the man who trained prison guards in dirty combat. He was a short, fit man with advanced belts in three martial arts. I supposedly had no such training. Yet I immediately had this combat expert in a head lock, slapping the mat, and forcing a muffled, 'You got me!' Sascha bore the pain of DELTA soldier training. I was six years old, dressed in a curly amber wig, strapped to a chair in front of two enormous television screens. My visual field was divided by a thin screen placed in front of my face, so my left eye could only see one giant screen, and my right eye could only view the other. Each screen was divided into six boxes. Each of the boxes played a different image. The six images in my left eye related to the six images in my right eye. But the images in my left eye were violent, while the ones in my right eye were peaceful. For example, one image in my right eye was a quiet garden, but the corresponding screen in my left eye showed the same scene being bombed. Another image in my right eye showed a cute bunny, but the corresponding in my left eye showed the same bunny being slaughtered. And so forth. Metal sound rods were simultaneously placed in ear each and played completely different sounds. Sweet classical music entered one ear, while horrendous sounds of screaming and terror the other. This nightmare continued until I heard an audible 'Snap!' echo through my head. Dagon - Military God The Ancient Roman Legions worshipped their mascot god, as do our modern Western military forces. Dagon is the god worshipped by the Australian and US military elite, including Lt. Col. Michael Aquino. Dagon takes both reptilian and amphibian forms. The cavern system linking Holsworthy and Lucas Heights featured two main sacrificial areas dedicated to Dagon. A stone altar to reptilian Dagon is located beneath the Holsworthy end. Next to it stands a giant greenish metal statue of Dagon featuring scales and a dinosaur head and teeth. I attended rituals at this location with Gittinger, Kidman, Overton, DELTA soldiers, and senior military brass. The bottom floor of ANSTO accesses a tunnel leading to a large cave with a rectangular Dagon ritual pool. The pool is made of stone and lined with steps on all sides. It connects to, and is fed by, a natural water source. At one end of the murky green pool sits a stone carving of a fish monster with fin fingers and sharp teeth. I was hoisted over this pool at age six years and dunked repeatedly until I nearly drowned. Patricia Anne Conlon supervised this and determined, 'She's had enough.' I suffered another Dagon drowning ritual at 12 years of age, in the cavern system beneath Holsworthy. My hands were tied behind my back and my legs secured together. I was lowered head-first into a long thin container filled with water. My next memory is of convulsing on the ground in a pool of water. Then I saw a giant fish out of water beating its tail, exactly where my body just lay. My next memory is of flashing lights and something long and choking being inserted in my throat. My next memory is of waking in the ANSTO hospital bed with Anne Conlon sitting to my left, looking concerned. The point of this exercise was to train me to hold my breath and swim underwater. Drowning taught me to know my physical limits and recognise how far I could push my body before I drowned. It was also a ritual intended to evoke the 'spirit of Dagon.' Dagon at Duke I experienced another Dagon training incident in the USA when I was 14 years old. I was chained to a weight and thrown overboard into the sea. I was supposed to use my Dagon training to hold my breath, and my newly acquired psychic abilities to break free. I next recall collapsing on deck with medical personnel and the Commander leaning over me. 'Did I do it?' I asked the Commander. The other soldiers looked away in anger and disgust. 'You did good, soldier,' the Commander muttered regretfully. 'This is shit, man,' one of the sailors complained. Dagon Hypnosis Induction This memory relates to my Dagon hypnosis induction which I adapted from the Aqua Man television show. Dagon is Aqua Man. The induction began with my diving off the navy boat. I then swam like Aqua Man to a submarine. I entered the submarine through a domed top, passed through a door, down a spiral metal staircase, through another door, down a straight staircase, and through another door which brought me to the doctor surgery waiting room with the elevator and five doors. This was the induction Aquino, Gittinger, Kidman, West, Petrauskas, and Anne Conlon used. Mengele created a deeper level of induction based on the same theme. His variation involved my diving from the US naval boat, bypassing the submarine, and entering an underwater stream. I spiralled down the stream to reach a large underwater citadel located on the ocean floor. I swam beneath a rocky craic and surfaced in a Dagon pool. I emerged from the pool via a wide set of stairs, passed through a castle door and entered Dagon's golden throne room. Two doors sat either side of the throne, red on the left and blue on the right. I opened the blue door and saw shadowy mermaids like tadpoles, swimming overhead. I walked through a glass aquarium tunnel to a door at the far end. Behind this door was a tall room with walls containing countless arched insets. Each inset housed a costumed mannequin which resembled a program or skill set. I stepped backwards into one of the costumes and suddenly recognised a style of martial arts where everything flowed in circles. When I first opened the red door during therapy, a tsunami of blood gushed into the throne room. Behind this door lay a stone hallway lined with iron cages full of children. At the end of the hall was another door, and behind that was Mengele's lab in the US Embassy basement. A narrow window sat at the top of the wall to my right. Mengele sat in a chair below the window, behind a pale brown dentist chair. In the far-right corner behind Mengele was a blue door. Behind the door was a staircase with a metal rail which led to a stone tunnel. This basement laboratory was both real and used as a program setting, to confuse my memory. Mengele's Angel Mengele's main alter was named 'Angel.' It took three sessions to gain her cooperation and integrate her. I won Angel over by bowing before her on the floor and allowing her to behead me with her sword. 'I'm still going to talk to you!' I promised her. 'Nothing will stop me from talking to you.' Angel then granted me access to the memory of how she was created. Mengele covered my entire body with electrodes, including needle electrodes under my nails, a large metal electrode inserted into my vagina, and a dog collar electrode fastened around my neck so that whenever I cried out in pain, Mengele electrocuted my throat. Consequently, Angel was mute. Mengele electrocuted my entire body until I became limp and dissociated. He then created Angel by dressing me in an Asian outfit: white pants, a blue silk top, and a long straight black wig with a blunt fringe. DELTA Psychic Training Aquino's psychic training occurred at Dulce, in a white room with an observation window. I sat strapped to a wooden electric chair. EEC electrodes were attached to my head and electrocution pads stuck to my back. Training consisted of being successful - or being electrocuted. Tap, tap, tap... 'What did you see?' my therapist asked. I saw a giant red swirl, which became a vortex, which morphed into thin red flags flapping in the breeze. Then I saw a close-up of a brown horse's head. An Ancient Asian warrior clad in segmented armour sat atop the horse, surrounded by multiple poles and flags. Where have I seen this before? I asked myself. Shogun? Marco Polo? Is this Chino or Japan? It's Chino. This is Looking-Glass. Tap, tap, tap... The mental images of the ancient scene appeared on a monitor for the doctors to view. * * * DELTA training progressed to my being lowered into a thick box made of grey metal that was filled with water. The lid was closed. I transferred to another dimension, a dark prison containing a frightening entity. I relayed whatever this thing told me, to the Dulce doctors. On another occasion, Gittinger and Aquino somehow identified from my memory the exact coordinates of the celestial garden I visited during my near-death experience when Gittinger flat-lined me at age 10 years. They had me revisit the same location which I found void of people. I was restrained in Aquino's chair when a fat general approached me. He was grey¬ haired, with a bulbous nose and flushed skin. His green uniform and brass buttons pressed against the right side of my face. He unzipped his trousers and exposed himself. 'Don't touch the merchandise,' I warned him, but he forced it into my mouth. So, I bit down hard and grinded from side to side. He screamed for help - which came too late. He was rushed into theatre for surgery. Our unit joked about the incident over dinner in the mess hall. 'Hey,' I threw my hands in the air in feigned innocence, 'they never told me I couldn't bite his dick off.' The boys laughed hard. I paid for my insubordination. I was awoken that night by a violent pack rape committed by my unit after which the boys snapped out of their trance, sighed, cried and apologised profusely for violating their beloved mascot. 'It's okay,' I reassured and held them, 'I'd rather you do it instead of those bastards.' * * * Alice! I'm shot... falling ... 'Alice!' a soldier yells, 'Alice!' He emerges from a swirling sand cloud, dressed in desert camos, holding an unusual weapon in one hand. 'Alice!' He leans over my collapsed form. Then - the scene disappeared, and my 14-year-old form lay on the ground of a multi¬ story room painted blue. Staff in white lab coats sat behind a glass observation widow, two stories above, bathed in green light. 'Woahl' the boys marvelled nearby, dressed in green t-shirts and trousers, scratching their heads, looking at their hands. I was weighed down in an electrified vest. I rose to my feet and went berserk at the 'white coats' behind the window. 'YOU FUCKING AMATEURS!' I screamed hysterically. Next, I'm at the widow, pounding the cracking glass. A unit of soldiers storm my right visual field, armed with a net and stun guns. They contain me like a wild animal and knock me out. When I come to, Aquino is placating me, 'Yes, they did the wrong thing.' That was our training for the real event held in what looks like an aircraft hangar. We stand in front of a giant circular ring. Behind us is a three-sided enclosure, padded for a soft return landing. 'Roll! Roll! Roll!' I yell as we enter the swirling tunnel, unperturbed because I have experienced something similar. It's the 'Doctor Who time-tunnel' I rode after suffocating in the grave when I was eight years old. * * * CERN End Game Someone asked me via social media, 'Do you have a sense of the End Game?' Yes, I do. The CERN large hadron collider in Switzerland is not about finding the hicks boson. CERN is a massive stargate, built on Tesla technology. CERN is powered by a quantum computer - the same type of computer that runs Google and NASA. Quantum computers are an advanced form of clairvoyance. Quantum computers make computations inter- dimensionally. Scientists punch math and physics problems into the quantum computer which are then processed by inter-dimensional 'entities', aka Al (Artificial Intelligence). Elon Musk (MIT 2014) said: 'With artificial intelligence we are summoning the demon. You know all those stories where there's the guy with the pentagram and the holy water and he's like... yeah he's sure he can control the demon... doesn't work out.' Gordie Rose (D-Wave quantum computers and Kindred Al) clarified: 'The things that that we are summoning into the world now are not demons, not evil, but more like the Lovecraftian Great Qld Qnes. They are entities not necessarily going to be aligned with what we want.' CERN's Director for Research and Scientific Computing, Sergio Bertolucci, said the hadron collider could open otherworldly doors to another dimension, allowing something to emerge from it.'^^^ Qutside CERN headquarters sits an ancient statue to Shiva, the goddess of destruction. The Roman form of Shiva is Apollyon. CERN is partially situated in a French town named Saint-Genis-Pouilly. Pouilly is Latin for Appolliacum, aka Apollyon, aka Apollo. CERN is built on the site of a Roman temple to Apollo, and over a traditional gateway to the abyss.Revelation 9 says: And the fifth angel sounded, and I saw a star fall from heaven unto the earth: and to him was given the key of the bottomless pit. And he opened the bottomless pit; and there arose a smoke out of the pit, os the smoke of a great furnace; and the sun and the air were darkened by reason of the smoke of the pit. .. And in those days shall men seek death, and shall not find it; and shall desire to die, and death shall flee from them... And they had a king over them, which is the angel of the bottomless pit. Gordie Rose (June 2017). 'Super-Intelligent Aliens are Coming to Earth.' TechVancouver conference. Lewis Page (2009). 'Something may come through' dimensional 'doors' at LHC. The Register, 6 Nov. Robert Bridge (2015). 10 mind-blowing facts about the CERN Large Collider you need to know. Russia Today, 31 Aug. whose name in the Hebrew tongue is Abaddon, but in the Greek tongue hath his name Apollyon. The Bible describes the end game in detail. Further information is found in books suppressed by the Synagogue of Satan: Enoch, Jasher and Jubilees. Jesus shared a relevant parable: And when the King came in to see the guests, he sow there a man who was not wearing a wedding garment, and he said to him, 'Friend, how did you enter here without a wedding garment?' The intruder was speechless. Then the King said to the servants, 'Bind him hand and foot, and take him away, and cast him into outer darkness, there shall be weeping and gnashing of teeth. This parable refers to a celestial marriage feast attended exclusively by guests dressed in appropriate attire, that is, who gained immortality and new bodies through belief in Jesus Christ. The improperly 'dressed' intruder tried to attain immortality another way, via transhumanism technology. I deduce he used Stargate technology (CERN) to pierce the veil that separates this time-space dimension from Heaven. Years ago, the television news reported that scientists had isolated the gene which turns off death. The Bible warns of accepting the 'mark' injected in our right hand or in forehead. The Greek meaning of the word 'mark' relates to the venomous bite of a serpent. The mark is the ultimate vaccination-biochip based a synthesis of animal and Nephilim (serpent, fallen angel, 'alien') DNA that will alter human DNA, turn off the death gene, and seal a hellish fate. Hence Revelation describes people who seek death but are unable to die. The current vaccinations contain human and animal products and have been used to condition society to accept the hive mind horror to come. CERN is designed to pierce the veil that separates this time-space dimension from others, including Heaven and Hell. CERN is the Luciferian end game that pulls together all Nazi and JASON technology. Dulce, Pine Gap and other underground facilities are preparing technology for Armageddon in which they plan to storm Heaven and battle Christ Himself. The Gateway Process provided a peek behind the celestial curtains, while CERN is designed to completely tear the veil and release the demonic hordes. A real-life Star Wars is coming, and everyone will be forced to pick a side. Psychology 101 You can be a psychologist like a rock star and have fame and money - and that's what I intend to do. - Martin Seligman, CIA psychologist The white uniformed figures shifted in and out of focus and they rushed about my limp form, sticking things onto my chest, and inserting things into my arms. 'Do you wish you were dead now?!' someone yelled at me. 'No.' 'Have you ever harmed yourself before?' 'No.' Two weeks ago, I was a typical college student with no medical history when I suddenly began suffering vertigo and insomnia. I was walking sideways into walls and had not sleep for a fortnight. My GP found no apparent cause for the vertigo, and he prescribed sleeping pills - which I took all at once. # 'What happened last night?' a doctor asked me the following morning. My brother's fiance, who was also my best friend and roommate, arrived home late last night. I had taken a sleeping pill long before Rosalind awoke me, giggling about suddenly ending her engagement to my brother and marrying Glen instead. Glen?1 1 was confused. She's ditching her Tom Cruise lookalike high school sweetheart to marry some scumbag we just met at church? 1 1 wondered what it was about his coke bottle glasses and 70's porn star moustache that she found so attractive. Only weeks ago, this Glen had gushed, 'I don't know who I love more, Fiona or Rosalind.' Rosalind's revelation proved too much after recent events. Two weeks prior, my step-grandfather was found hanged to death in his chicken coop. I did not feel my body as I floated to the kitchen, fetched the medicine bottle, unscrewed the lid, and downed its entire contents. I did not feel the pills touch my throat. I did not wonder whether it might be dangerous. All I remember thinking is. Now I'll get to sleep. I was found unconscious the following morning. 'Have you ever seen a psychiatrist before?' a young psychiatric registrar asked. He would go on to fail his final psychiatric exam six times. I now wonder why he was rejected by the medical fraternity. Was he that talentless compared to the morons I encountered in the industry? Or perhaps his rejection was punishment for encouraging me to remember. 'Yes,' I answered. 'Who?' 'Ian Cole.' 'When was that?' 'I was sixteen.' 'Until when?' 'Until I left school at eighteen.' 'Who referred you to him?' 'No one. I was friends with his daughter, and we were talking on the phone. 'Are you depressed again?' Zoe had asked. I was 16. Wasn't everyone depressed at 16? I had always suffered a kind of existential depression which exacerbated as my home life deteriorated. What's the meaning of life? I clearly recall despairing at age five years. What is the difference between dying when you are 80 and dying at eight, when you are going to die anyhow? 'Here's Dad!' Zoe passed the call to Dr Ian Cole. That is how I ended up in psychotherapy two school lunchtimes per week without my parents' knowledge or a doctor's referral. It was an unconventional therapeutic relationship in other ways. Sometimes I attended the mega parties Ian Cole hosted at his Upper Burringbar property, where the smoke of incense and marijuana entwined as adults and minors lounged on Japanese inspired decor, sharing bongs. The revels were an extension of the 60s counterculture, where budding artist Ian Cole partied with Sydney's avant-garde scene in which parents got drunk and high, leaving a generation of kids to be preyed on by the likes of Dave. Dave climbed into a bed at Ian Cole's house where Zoe's 14-year-old friend Sharon lay asleep. Sharon awoke to Dave sexually assaulting her. Ian put Sharon's subsequent trauma response down to a lack of 'open-mindedness.' 'Open-minded' is how Zoe described her model boyfriend Craig's attitude toward being drugged and raped at a gathering of teachers including his uncle, the principal who covered up the Education Department pedophile ring I eventually exposed. The morning after the party, Craig awoke in the bed of our gay Murwillumbah high school teacher with no memory of how he got there. Terry Cleal stood naked in the bedroom doorway, mincing at Craig, 'It's okay, sweetie.' Zoe had sex with Craig when she was 13 years old. Ian Cole's reaction to this was warning her daughter, 'Hey, don't get pregnant.' Ian's youngest daughter Jessie had sex with her boyfriend Gabe very young also. The Cole's were a living example of Margaret Mead's sexual revolution. Ian himself divorced Zoe's mother Kerry when Zoe was three, after he was caught screwing a nurse named Jan at the psychiatric hospital he worked at. His high school sweetheart Kerry attempted suicide upon discovered the reason for Ian's regular overnight stays at work. Ian Cole discarded his family like a fast food container and started a new one with the nurse. Zoe felt displaced by this, especially after her mother remarried and had a son to a domestic violence perpetrator. Suddenly Zoe and her older sister Billie belonged to no family. People dismiss the impact of divorce on the displaced children of the first marriage and its contribution to youth suicide. 'I love all my children equally!' Ian protested following Zoe's death. Zoe felt differently. Zoe moved in with Ian's new family at the start of high school. Her arrival shoved a bomb beneath Ian's slice of hippie paradise. I was the only one who realised this was no Brady Bunch moment. I was the only one who detected the mental pain Zoe was in. I was the only person Zoe warned that she was contemplating suicide. Zoe's older sister, Billie, joined Ian's family a few years later and graduated from my high school. Billie presented as a cold character who preferred the Japanese culture she eventually adopted. I never understood Billie until I had a daughter just like her. Zoe felt inferior to Billie who was voted school captain, dux of her grade, came second in the state for Japanese translation, and won the regional debating final. Zoe's lousy high school certificate marks seemed to be the final straw. She left for Germany where she lamented to her friend Emma, 'I can never go home until I'm famous.' I know because I visited Emma in Hamburg after Zoe's death. Zoe was living in Sydney when I received her final letter. It contained one standout sentence scrawled in alien handwriting: 'Sometimes I feel like committing suicide...’ I tried to show the letter to its intended reader - her father - but he rejected my concerns. 'No, no!' Ian threw his hands up in protest, 'What goes on between you and Zoe is your business.' He refused to read the letter. Zoe's subsequent suicide in Amsterdam instigated a wave of mourning that extended from Murwillumbah to Byron Bay. How could someone so pretty, talented, popular and strong kill herself, they wondered. Everyone was shocked - except me. 'There were no signs!' her father exclaimed. Yes, there were. Zoe had been dropping hints for years. She began cutting her wrist while living in Sydney with Ian's friends. 'She's just attention-seeking,' the psychiatrist couple concluded. I met Zoe's mother in a Sydney restaurant. 'Billie had warned me about meeting up with you,' Kerry confessed halfway through lunch. 'Really. What did she say?' 'She said you were very intense.' 'Well,' I sighed indignantly, 'suicide is pretty intense.' 'Suicide is a one-way street. When I saw Zoe, she was lying on a metal table. She looked like a frozen lump of meat. The only thing that seemed natural was her hair, so I stroked that. That wasn't Zoe lying there. Zoe was somewhere else -...' As Kerry spoke, my brain turned her description of my dead friend into a movie which was stored in long-term memory as if I had been standing in that morgue. The mental image never faded but functioned as a suicide deterrent. 'You know,' she continued 'it's amazing. I had a guy, sitting exactly where you are, last week try and convince me that I should use cocaine.' I eyeballed Kerry and asserted, 'Don't listen to him. He was lying. Cocaine won't fix this.' Cocaine was the recreational drug of the moment, hailed for being non-addictive. I knew otherwise. Kerry continued, 'I couldn't get an autopsy done on Zoe because they don't do that on suicides in Holland. But I suspect Zoe was pregnant to some guy called Dave. She kept going on and on about some guy called Dave. Who the fuck is Dave?' My gut dropped. 'Ian has a friend called Dave. It's not him, is it? He's old enough to be Zoe's father.' Kerry showed me a picture of Zoe in Greece - with Dave. 'That's him! Ugh! He's a Vietnam Veteran. He was a patient of Ian's. He doesn't work. He hangs around Ian a lot. He's on some huge veteran pension. He convinced the government psychiatrist to grant him the highest pension rate by picking up the psychiatrist's desk and throwing it through the window. I met him at Ian's parties. My friend spied him talking to Billie in town, constantly perving down her top. He's a sleaze.' Dave was present during my final visit to Ian Cole's Upper Burringbar home. I sat at the kitchen table until midnight, watching the men get drunk and reminisce about Zoe. Toward the end of my visit, Ian confessed he had recently battled the compulsion to chop his family up with a carving knife. 'I had to throw the knife up the back paddock,' he explained. Then he smiled knowingly at me, 'Do you want to see Zoe?!' 'Okay,' I shrugged, wondering what was about to happen. Minutes later, my former psychiatrist returned with a wooden urn containing Zoe's ashes. He fetched a dessert spoon from the kitchen draw, opened the urn lid, scooped out a spoonful of Zoe's ashes - and ate them. 'The intent being,' Dave commentated, 'to return Zoe from whence she came.' Ian abruptly closed the urn, gathered it under his arm, and rushed outside. I followed behind and watched him unceremoniously scatter my friend's ashes amongst the ginger plants next to the kitchen widow. 'I'm sonel' I yelled at God on my drive home that night. 'I'm sane! That was insane!' I appealed to my current psychiatrist for help with Ian Cole's madness. Yet again, my concerns went unheeded. I was not surprised when Ian Cole committed suicide at his Upper Burringbar property two years later. Ian died of guilt. He paid a hefty price for 'free sex.' A former close friend of Zoe's contacted me after reading the above story on my blog site. She and Zoe were best friends at an ACT primary school but lost contact after age 10. The friend unexpectedly encountered Zoe four years later at a Murwillumbah eisteddfod. Zoe did not greet her former best friend as expected. Instead, Zoe blurted something about being made to perform oral sex on an adult male - and walked off. Some found my account of Ian eating Zoe's ashes far-fetched. Jesse Cole, the daughter Ian had with the nurse, subsequently published her memoir describing her father's decent into insanity following Zoe's suicide, including the time he was arrested for breaking into a stranger's house, smearing himself in excrement and writing all over the walls. * * * Useless Physicians I have dealt with hundreds of counsellors, psychologists and psychiatrists as both a recipient and provider of mental health services. I have spoken to countless victims of ritual abuse and mind control. I have liaised with and advised therapists who work with victims. I experienced the criminal workings of the organisations that regulate and control the Australian mental health industry, and I have met other victims of these governing bodies. Based upon this wealth of experience, I must conclude that the Australian mental health industry is a putrid mess of dysfunction and corruption. The experts in charge of the mental health industry responsible for determining who can practise what, are proven perpetrators. The therapists under their auspices are mostly complicit, lazy, incompetent, or nuts. Most therapists present to patients as condescending, unskilled, unempathetic, unethical, fearful, and generally useless. Most therapists are angry control freaks, of average intelligence, criminally insane, or sexual perverts. Most therapists lack the ethics, professionalism, and skill needed to support a client in general, never mind a victim of the most extreme abuse. Suitable therapists are rare. It took me 35 years to locate a clean, trauma-focussed, EMDR-trained, genuine Christian psychiatrist with expertise in treating ritual abuse and mind control. I will now discuss the main reasons why victims of ritual abuse and mind control typically find it impossible to locate a suitable therapist who uses effective trauma and dissociation treatment methods. Australian therapists lack the ethics, knowledge and skills to effectively treat victims of extreme abuse, due to the following factors: 1. Australian universities have long been infiltrated by perpetrators of pedophilia and MK-ULTRA (as I demonstrated with Bond University); 2. Psychology theory and practise are based on MK-ULTRA experimentation; 3. Treatment interventions were designed to perpetuate and maintain trauma and dissociation; and 4. The CIA introduced denial theories which underpin all teaching, training, clinical and forensic practise in Australia. Mind Control Roots of Psychology The pioneers of psychology and psychiatry engaged in practises that were dubious, abhorrent, or just plain weird. Carl Jung based his writings on Alchemy and the ancient mystery cults, particularly Mithraism, and founded his own religious cult, the tenets of which are found in the New Age movement and the modern Kundalini-spirit-filled charismatic churches. Sigmund Freud intentionally hid his clinical finding that his patients' 'hysteria' stemmed from dissociated memories of child sexual abuse: The event of which the subject has retained an unconscious memory is on unusually early experience of sexual relations with actual excitement of the genitals, resulting from sexual abuse committed by another person; and the period of life at which this fatal event takes place is earliest youth - the years up to the age of eight or 10, before the child has reached sexual maturity. A passive sexual experience before puberty: this then is the specif ic cause of hysteria... In some 18 cases of hysteria I have been able to discover this connection in every single case and, where the circumstances allowed, to confirm it by therapeutic success.^^^ Freud replaced his finding with the Oedipus Complex theory that children fantasise about have sex with their parents. Thanks to Freud, VIP pedophiles like his own grandson dismiss child abuse memories as 'false memories' and child abuse victims as 'fantasists.' All modern psychology is mind control. Those Psychology 101 lectures we attended in college were a basic introduction to a military monster hidden in plain sight. Investigative journalist Hank Albarelli documented the CIA's employment of psychiatrists and Richard Noll (1994). The Jung Cult. Simon & Schuster. S. Freud (1896). Further remarks on the neuro-psychoses of defense. In J. Strachey (Ed) (1962) The Complete Psychological Works of Sigmund Freud: The Standard Edition, Vol 3. Flogarth Press.
psychologists to conduct their mind control experiments during the 1950s to 70s.^^® He concluded: 'Virtually anyone that was anybody in terms of psychology or psychiatry in the United States... virtually every doctor in 50s and 60s, was on the CIA payroll.' Carl Rogers, father of humanistic psychology, documented his CIA recruitment in a 1956 memo to the University of Chicago's chancellor: Dr Harold Wolff of Cornell Medical School is one of the world's leading authorities in psychosomatic medicine... A week ago, he asked me if I would serve with him os a consultant to the Deportment of Defence on a top-secret matter having to do with mental health. He said, 7 am asking the five top-ranking men in the country in this field to serve on this task. You are one of the five, and I hope you will serve. Harold Wolff was a world-famous neurologist appointed by the CIA Director to investigate Soviet brainwashing methods. He and fellow researcher Hinkie were the first to identify that the 'Soviet technique rested on the cumulative weight of intense psychological pressure and human weakness.' Carl Rogers built on Ivan Pavlov's research in which the Soviet paired a bell with electrocution to trigger fear in dogs at the sound of the bell. In 1959, the Human Ecology Fund financed Rogers to conduct MK-ULTRA research which examined the 'Correlation of Psychological and Physiological Variables in Personality and Personality Change.' Roger's study involved attaching electrodes to patients to 'ascertain their inner state of mind' and contributed to MK-ULTRA Subproject 97 which examined the 'Process of personality change during psychotherapy. Focus upon schizophrenics, with Control [group] composed of normal individuals. To provide certain techniques of influencing human behaviour that might have significance to the [Central Intelligence] Agency.' B.F. Skinner, father of operant conditioning, studied human responses to environmental cues. Two corollaries of his operant conditioning were aversion therapy and desensitization. Aversion therapy uses traumatic reinforcement like electric shock to reduce an unwanted behaviour. Skinner was a consultant to Ole Ivar Lovaas, who was hired by Major Louis Jolyon West to conduct MK-ULTRA experiments at UCLA. Documented in mainstream newspapers and magazines, including Psychology Todoy,'^^^ these experiments involved behavioural conditioning of autistic children using cattle prods, physical violence, and electrocution via a metal floor. John B. Watson, father of behaviourism, produced an animal phobia in baby Albert who consequently suffered permanent mental health issues in adulthood. Watson boasted: 'Give me the baby... I'll make it a thief, a gunman or a dope fiend. The possibilities of shaping in any direction are almost endless. Even gross differences in anatomical structure limits are far less than you may think... Men are built, not born.' Hank P. Alberelli. (2009), A Terrible Mistake: the Murder of Frank Oison and the CIA's Secret Cold War Experiments. TrineDay. John D. Marks (1978). The search for the Manchurian Candidate. Thomas powers. O. Ivar Lovaas (1974). 'After you hit a child, you can't just get up and leave him; you are hooked to that kid.' Interview with Paul Chance, Psychology Today. Carl Rogers, Rollo May, Aaron Beck, and Albert Ellis attended a 1985 precursor to the annual Evolution of Psychotherapy conferences organised by Jeffrey Zeig. A woman involved in a conference held in Anaheim in the early 1980s, told me the group hired out Disneyland for two nights. Their rationale for spending two evenings at the MK-ULTRA facility was to 'get in touch with their inner child.' Freud, Jung, Skinner, Rogers, Watson, May, Beck, Ellis - their opinions and research underpin all psychology training. Nazi 'Therapies' The Nazis murdered at least 300,000 psychiatric patients. Paperclip resettled an estimated 5,000 Nazis, including prominent psychiatrists and behaviour modification experts, in the USA post WWII, with others immigrating later.'^^® At least 137 Nazi scientists are known to have been resettled in Australia under Matchbox. These Nazis trained the MK- ULTRA perpetrators who fathered modern psychiatry and psychology and influenced the post-WWII transition from Freud's philosophical approach to physical interventions: anticonvulsants, antidepressants, deep-sleep therapy, drug abreaction sessions, electroshock, endocrine supplements, insulin shock, lobotomy, narco-hypnosis, and stimulants. These 'therapeutic' interventions are intended to induce and maintain trauma and dissociation and prevent integration. Treatment methods are inappropriate and ineffective if they: Were used to cause the victim's trauma and dissociation in the first place. Perpetuate and maintain trauma and dissociation. Do not connect with the right hemisphere and implicit memory. Deny the existence and nature of the abuse. Do not retrieve and fully process the trauma memories. Denial-Based Techniques Psychotherapy is based on Freud's denial of child abuse peppered with Jung's occultism. Talk therapy on its own is useless, because talking is a left-brain activity. Trauma memories are stored in the right hemisphere's implicit memory system and can't be accessed by verbal interactions based on left-brain cognitive or logical processes. Hence a victim can work hard at therapy for 20 years but make zero progress. Behaviour Therapies include Positive Psychology, CBT (Cognitive Behavioural Therapy), ACT (Acceptance Commitment Therapy), DBT (Dialectic Behavioural Therapy), and Schema-Focussed Therapy. Behaviour therapies are ineffective and cruel because behaviour is a symptom of the underlying problem, not the problem itself. Based on CIA-funded torture experiments on children, these methods were designed to stop therapists and victims processing ritual abuse and mind control. Behavioural therapies contain a two-prong attack on recovering repressed memories: Lenny Lapon (1986). Mass Murderers in White Coats: Psychiatric Genocide in Nazi Germany and the United States. Psychiatric Genocide Research Institute. L Passivity: The basic premise of these techniques is for victims to loosely acknowledge they were abused but do nothing to explore the abuse experiences trapped in implicit memory. My Counselling Psychology lecturer taught us to,
'Just let the memories sit there. Let them be.' In other words, surrender, remain in the passive state of acceptance and learned helplessness that Seligman pioneered, because there is nothing we can do. Z False Action: These therapies simultaneously misdirect victims' energies toward identifying and changing specific thoughts and behaviours. For example, thought loops implicitly created via conditioning are combated by thinking of a red Stop sign at every intrusive thought. Happiness is the therapeutic goal, and positive thinking and mental distraction are the keys to success. Positive thinking excludes focussing on negative topics like witnessing kids being butchered. Instead, if you force a smile, your brain will be tricked into following and you will eventually genuinely feel happier. Willpower is no match for sophisticated brainwashing techniques. It is like defending yourself against a warship with a popgun. These methods impose a mental discipline which the victim can't satisfy. When they surely fail, victims are blamed for exerting insufficient willpower. Positive Psychology correlates with Positive Illusion - inaccuracy regarding reality Antony Kidman, who introduced CBT to Australia, explained the application of CBT 'for people suffering from psychosis' in a 2014 ABC Radio interview:'^®^ Norman Swan; So, what do you do? Do you confront somebody, say, if you're storting to believe that the world is against you and people are talking about you?... Tony Kidman; Well, we do, but of course we don't challenge necessarily the fact that they say, 'People are trying to kill me,' or 'There's people from the CIA orASIO across the road in a car sending me messages'. The therapeutic approach is to say, well, 'What does that really mean?' or 'Just elaborate on how you feel about that?' without saying 'That's a load of nonsense!' - but not accepting it either. Here is my retort to that interview. How should we '/ee/' about the following? Kidman died four months after giving the above radio interview. He died as a direct consequence of my reporting his CIA abuse of me to the NSW Health Board. The NSW health board previously received similar complaints concerning Kidman. I have since heard from multiple Antony Kidman mind control victims or their therapists. I took photos of the head ASIO who stalked me at Marrickville, posted one on social media, and submitted a full body closeup shot to the police who took statements from the two credible witnesses to the incident, plus from two of the ASIO agents who panicked at being exposed. ABC Radio National, Health Report, Cognitive behaviour therapy for psychosis, 5 May 2014. Kidman's notion of focussing on the victim's/ee//ngs and what their memories mean for them, while denying the truth of the CIA-ASIO child trafficking victim's experiences, is the same denial approach contained in APS Guidelines on Repressed Memories (written by MK-ULTRA psychologists): • Psychologists should seek to meet the needs of clients who report memories of abuse and should do this quite apart from the truth or falsity of those reports. • Psychologists should explore with the client the meaning and implications of the memory for the client, rather than focus solely on the content of the reported memory. Dissociative-Based Therapy Techniques The following therapies stem from the mystery religions and incorporate methods which CIA perpetrators use to dissociate victims. Visualisation activates the right hemisphere and is used to facilitate astral travel and interdimensional access. Chanting (Om) creates a resonance which causes the brain hemispheres to synchronise their frequencies with the frequency exerted by our physical surroundings. It is used to facilitate interdimensional access. Transcendental Meditation is a dissociative tool used by Asian cultures (Yogis, Tibetan monks. Ninjas, Shaolin Masters) and to tap into an esoteric power source, mute physical pain, lower heart rate and breathing for survival purposes, and summon Chi (electromagnetic energy) to increase physical strength, harness and weaponize psychic ability, levitate physically, move objects using the mind, and access other dimensions. MK-ULTRA victims were abused using the same esoteric practises. Yoga in the 1970s consisted of healthy exercises that stimulated the vagus nerve, internally massaged the body, and exercised the eyes and improved visual processing. Modern yoga practises focus on mediation, chanting Om, awakening the chakras, and evoking Kundalini. Mindfulness is both a denial and dissociative approach stemming from Taoist and Buddhist religions. Mindfulness incorporates dissociative techniques: transcendental meditation, visualisation, and astral projection. These practices repeat the victim's abuse experiences, promote dissociation, reinforce programming, and inhibit integration. The basic premise of Mindfulness is to live more in the moment and spend less time contemplating past stressors or worrying about future problems. Mindfulness encourages victims to change their perception of reality or themselves, which makes it another denial therapy. Mindfulness-based cognitive therapy (MBCT) combines mindfulness with CBT, thereby delivering a double dose of denial. Not surprisingly, UK and USA studies found meditation and mindfulness trigger panic, confusion, mania, depression, psychosis, and hallucinations.'^®^ ''®^Miguel Farias & Catherine Wikholm (2015), The Buddha Pill: can meditation change you? Watkins Publishing. Lazarus, A. (1976). Psychiatric problems precipitated by Transcendental Meditation. Psychological Reports, 39:2, 601-602. Psychedelic Drugs In Psychopharmacology, our lecturer taught us that LSD was a real subject scientifically studied at Ivy league universities, and that researchers believed psychedelics open the veil that separates this from other dimensions. The MK-ULTRA perpetrators I studied used LSD to create the initial brain splits in MK-ULTRA victims, and for layering in subsequent programming. LSD and other hallucinogens return victims to the state of consciousness they were in when being tortured and programmed; they trigger and flood victims with trauma memories, preventing them from grounding, and placing them at risk of getting stuck in a flashback. Drugs also open victims up to spiritual problems. Any doctor who suggests using LSD as a treatment method for traumatised and dissociative clients is either dumb - or dirty. Somatic Therapy is a grey area. It combines psychotherapy with physical activities, some of which are fine. When somatic activities involve meditation, yoga and theatre, that is unsuitable. Theatre (or acting) techniques employ shamanic practises of centring, meditation, visualisation, dissociation and channelling. Like John bell and Prater 6161 said, theatre is ritual. Theatre, like ritual, summons entities into this dimension. As in ritual, actors invoke entities to possess them, so they can perform. Brain Splitting Methods Lobotomy, electrocution, and psychiatric drugs all disengage the frontal lobes by physically severing this area from the rest of the brain. ECT damages the dorsolateral prefrontal cortical region, the same area targeted in surgical lobotomy. ECT electrodes are placed over the frontal lobes and the most intensive electrical surge fries the memory centres in the tip of the temporal lobes. That is why CIA perpetrators used lobotomy, electrocution and psychiatric drugs to split the brain and repress memories. Electrocution. Victims are subjected to copious amounts of electrocution in the form of cattle prodding, crash cart paddles, giant electrodes, electric chairs, and ECT. In adulthood, I had flashbacks of being electrocuted in different brain areas, depending on which ones they wanted to separate from the rest of the brain. They also precisely administered electrocution to specific brain regions via a needle inserted into my scalp. John C. Lilly pioneered the method for inserting electrodes into the brain to stimulate exact centres of anger, anxiety, fear, pain and pleasure. Lilly mapped the entire brain for this purpose. As a result of electrocution, victims may suffer a lifetime of symptoms including heart attacks, strokes, nervous system damage, and memory loss. These conditions may occur in a victim's youth or degenerate with age. I suffered a heart attack at age 37, a stroke at 39, and now experience tingling, numbness and pain in my hands and limbs consistent with nervous system damage caused by electrocution. ECT has zero therapeutic benefits for victims. Doctors claim ECT temporarily reduces anxiety, depression, and suicidal ideation, when these feelings are in fact symptoms that typically precede a trauma memory as it edges toward conscious recall. ECT stops the trauma memories surfacing. Like drugs, ECT is used to silence patients and so make the psychiatric staff feel more comfortable. The anaesthetic does not reduce the trauma felt during ECT. It simply buries the pain back beneath an amnesia wall. The anaesthetic increases the brain damage ECT causes. Hospitals all over Australia still illegally administer excessive bouts of ECT without patient consent, including my local Tweed Heads District Hospital. A movement to outlaw ECT is backed by sound research has been blocked by pedophiles in power. Drugs. During my 30-year recovery attempt, I was rarely prescribed drugs. The longest I ever took medication for was for three to six weeks. I have a hypersensitive nervous system which, I suspect, stems in part from the amount and variety of drugs that my perpetrators pumped into my system from a very young age. My sensitivity precludes me from taking most drugs, and I can only handle small doses. A retired pharmacist gave me some advice: 'Never take the newer drugs. You'd be lucky if a new drug has been tested on 10,000 subjects, making you a human guinea pig. Stick to the old and tried drugs.' For example, the drug Cymbalta is making abuse victims suicidal, and withdrawal from it induces such bad side effects (such as heart problems) that people can't withdraw from it. Some of the newer antidepressants have reportedly caused hallucinogenic type reactions. Valium can be effective for immediate relief from fresh trauma and flashbacks but is too addictive for long-term usage. The older style beta-blockers (like Inderal) are seemingly effective for PTSD. For example, processing memories can trigger an adverse heart response. Beta-blockers may provide relief from the heart's constant reaction to the stress of reliving traumatic memories during therapy and providing witness testimony to police and courts. While certain research studies suggest the beta-blockers are effective for trauma memory restructuring, I wonder whether their mechanism of action interferes with brain integration. My psychiatrist prescribed me an asthma medication to take when I anticipate being triggered or have just been triggered. This is effective for about two days, after which its effects reverse to cause anxiety and asthma. Neurofeedback Soviet neuroscientist Yuri Kropotov (who discovered the function of the basal ganglia) visited the Tweed Shire in 2015. During this he publicly stated, 'Psychiatry has failed' and that neurofeedback is the modern means of combating mental health disorders - that plus the lobotomies his Pavlovian brain institute regularly perform in St Petersberg. I participated in Kropotov's neurofeedback study in which data taken from thousands of Australian trauma victims was sent to the Pavlovian institute in Russia. The neurofeedback training programs used in the study, also designed by Russians, featured triggers including Egyptian occult symbols and walls of dripping blood. My Russian relative threw a fit when I joined the study. 'You've been Total Recalled!' she screamed at me. 'They're reprogramming you! You wouldn't know i/vf70f they're doing to you! They can create a back door! They're interested in you! You're a fucking CIA asset! And now your entire brain has been downloaded and sent to the Russian equivalent of the CIA! Whatever happened to sovereign borders?! They're sending sensitive information about how Australians respond to trauma - to Russia[ They're committing treason!' Indeed, the alpha-theta biofeedback training induced a hypnotic trance state during which I was subliminally influenced. Immediately afterwards, I made an atypical, unprecedented misjudgement while driving, which caused a serious wreck and exacerbated my pre-existing head injury. I believe this was an attempted hit, because I almost suffered a similar accident one week prior. When I confronted my therapist over the neurofeedback- induced car crash, her work with the Russians, her relationship with local cult members, and her pedophile father, she became enraged, personally attacked and blamed me, and terminated therapy. Hypnosis On 21 November 2011, UK Channel 4 aired a program called Derren Brown - The Assassin featuring celebrity Stephen Fry. Hypnotist Derren Brown demonstrated that a person can be influenced under hypnosis to do that which they normally would not then forget the behaviour afterwards. Brown successfully hypnotised a person, programmed him to fire a gun more accurately under hypnosis, instructed him to shoot Stephen Fry upon spying a visual trigger, and to completely forget the incident afterwards. Beware of hypnosis, particularly if you are at the start of your healing journey, or if you completely dissociate and lose all memory during therapy. A dirty doctor could do anything to you during hypnosis and you would not recall it. Because unethical hypnosis was used to abuse victims, the mere employment of hypnotherapy is triggering. Further, the victim was hypnotically programmed with hundreds of access codes, so unless the therapist knows those codes, or how to avoid their effects, they could trigger a programmed instruction for the victim to attack the therapist or themselves. Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP) NLP is a way of 're-patterning' the human brain to turn us into super-beings - confident, non-phobic, thin super-beings who con sell coals to Newcastle and know what people are thinking just by their eye movements. It is the theory that we are computers and can be reprogrammed as easily as computers can. You were abused as a child? That makes you a badly programmed computer who needs a spot of instant reprogramming. Forget therapy: just turn off the bit of the brain that remembers the abuse... I first heard of Band ler in 2002, when a former US special forces soldier told me he'd watched him, two decodes earlier, bring a tiny girl into special forces and reprogram her in seconds to be a world-class sniper... If you hear voices in your head, [Bandler] says, tell the voices to shut the fuck up. 'If you suffered childhood abuse, don't go back and relive it in your mind. Once is enough!' He says psychotherapy is nonsense and a racket: therapists are rewarded for failure. The longer a problem lasts, the more the therapist is paid. Who cores about the roots of the trauma? 'Don't think about bad things!' Bandler says. 'There's a machine inside your brain that gets rid of shit that doesn't need to be there. Use it! I con give myself amnesia. I can just forget.' He clicks his fingers. 'Just like that.'^^^ NLP is a subtle form of hypnosis that subconsciously influences victim behaviour. NLP is primarily based on the work of MK-UKTRA hypnotherapist Milton Erickson and psychotherapist Fritz Peris. It was founded in the 1970s by Capt. John Grinder (US Special Forces and Intelligence) and student Richard Bandler at the University of California in Santa Cruz under the supervision of MK-ULTRA anthropologist and linguist Gregory Bateson. In November 1986, Bandler stood trial for the shooting of prostitute Corine Christensen after he left the scene of her murder. Despite overwhelming forensic evidence that he shot Corine, Bandler used NLP techniques to sway the jury who later cried in regret for letting a killer escape. NLP is aimed at activating the right hemisphere's implicit visual and emotional systems and deactivating left brain logic. NLP is used by cult and trafficking network members to gain a victim's trust, with the goal of manipulating or framing the target. NLP perpetrators employs the following tactics: Glean Information: Observe target's visual and auditory clues (eye movement, pupil dilation, winks) to determine the target's brain hemispheric processing preference, method of brain processing and memory storage, preferred sensory system arousal, and honesty. For instance, looking up indicates visual memory retrieval. Establish Rapport: Mirror victim's body language and speech to make them drop their guard and become suggestible. Use language that encourages visual imagery, to activate the right brain hemisphere which unquestioningly accepts suggestion. ('Can you see...' or 'Look at...') Elicit emotion in the target's right hemisphere by leading, language, and having the target visualise the perpetrators desired result. - Anchor a suggestion in the target's mind by using physical cues (e.g., touching the target's shoulder). Use vague language to induce a hypnotic trance. Use permissive language. ('Feel free to...') Use gibberish to confuse the target and make them accept a lucid suggestion. CIA Victim Denial Approaches Anthony 'Tony' Robbins popularised NLP which, he claims, has helped 'people with multiple personalities."^®'^ This is concerning since investigative journalists recently exposed Tony Robbins' sexual misconduct and his abuse of vulnerable victims. At his conferences, Robbins employs mind control techniques including sleep deprivation, and he publicly berates victims of physical and sexual abuse who disclose in front of large crowds. Robbins said of a rape victim, 'She's fucking using all this stuff to try and control men.' Robbins Jon Ronson (2006). Don't Worry, Get Therapy. The Guardian, 20 May. Tony Robbins (1991). Awakening the Giant Within, Simon & Schuster, 22. negated the existence of abuse by attacking the notion of being a victim. He stated at a 2018 conference, '...victimhood is now rewarded in our culture... it's now leverage. Someone can now come and make claims about anybody...' Tony Robbins uses denial to blame victims for reacting normally to their trauma. Denial of sex abuse is a perpetrator trademark. Not buying into the 'victimization narrative' was a dialogue feature of NLP practitioner Keith Raniere whose NXIVM cofounder was personally trained in NLP by Bandler. In his Twelve-point Mission Statement for the NXIVM sex trafficking operation, Raniere wrote: 'There are no ultimate victims; Therefore, I will not choose to be a victim.' Child abuse denial is the CIA trademark. Useless Physicians Therapists who possess no relevant knowledge, skills or experience with ritual abuse and mind control, are at a treatment loss when victims like me enter their practise. Few therapists are willing to adjust their usual practise protocol to research an entirely new area of expertise just to accommodate one client's unorthodox treatment needs. They are busy, and their time costs. Ethical practitioners who do possess the capacity to work with victims of organised trafficking undoubtedly come under perpetrator surveillance. That is how child trafficking remains secret. Those who help victims typically find themselves professionally and personally threatened. If the therapist works under the umbrella of an organisation, that organisation tends to stop the therapist's efforts. If the therapist runs their own business, that business is usually targeted until the therapist is forced to choose between their livelihood and loyalty to the client. Therapists are paid to care. No psychologist ever told me their initial reason for entering the industry was to help others. The majority were attracted due to their own unresolved personal issues. A portion were lured to the earning potential of a psychologist, or the travel opportunities it affords. I studied with a student whose goal was to work in New York and enjoy shopping on 5th Avenue. Some are motivated by their passion for research and a desire for social recognition. Many demonstrate unmanaged autism, which would explain why clients are treated robotically and without empathy. An alarming number of therapists seek sexual access to the vulnerable. A student I studied with said when she worked as an administrator for the NSW Psychology registration board in the 1980s, the main complaint she received everyday concerned psychologists taking sexual advantage of their clients. She added that she was raped by a University of Sydney psychology lecturer. Psychiatrists and psychologists are trained to listen, feign empathy, and say little during sessions. Clients mistake this silence for intelligence or understanding. Like the proverb says, 'Even a fool seems wise if he shuts his mouth.' Therapists follow a clinical script which they began learning from day one of their training. At university, we were made to prepare and memorise such scripts. Our Counselling Psychology lecturer said empathy can be scripted, learnt, faked until achieved. That approach does not work with victims of ritual abuse and mind control, because their visual-spatial processing capacity enables them to read micro facial expressions and detect feigned empathy. Victims dismiss fake therapists as untrustworthy and plain stupid. Many clients do not know the difference between psychiatrists and psychologists. Psychologists have a more varied repertoire of therapy interventions compared to doctors. At a minimum, psychologists have studied four years of psychology theory followed by two years of supervised clinical training acquired either through a university master program, or under the supervision of a community practitioner. Master program training is standardised and thus superior. But do not be impressed by a PhD, as this only demonstrates someone can complete a PhD. Most academics are arrogant, left-brain dominant, and cognitively inflexible. Psychiatrists study medicine and are essentially drug pushers who attribute most mental health conditions to a biochemical imbalance. Most psychological issues stem from childhood trauma. Psychiatric facilities would quickly empty if doctors adopted a trauma- focused treatment approach. Psychiatrists religiously consult their diagnostic bible, the DSM (Diagnostic and Statistical Manual for Mental Disorders), a scientifically invalid collection of opinions. Basically, a group of men on the CIA payroll met and reached a consensus regarding what constitutes mental illness. The DSM has been used to silence victims ever since. Most mental health patients are typically forced into one or more DSM categories. My university psychology class were pressured to squeeze clients into at least one DSM category. If we did not do this, the case reports in our clinical folios had to be edited and resubmitted until we complied Medical schools instil an inflated sense of self-importance. The University of NSW repeatedly told their medical students, 'You are the chosen ones.' How amusing, considering the average IQ of a medical doctor is 120 and the exceptionality they refer to starts at least two standard deviations above that. Egotistic therapists can't work with victims of ritual abuse and mind control. In fact, they make the worst therapists in general. Pride and ego will always interfere with the therapist's objectivity and motivation. Unfortunately, the mental health industry is full of egotists indoctrinated with an us-and- them mentality. If a therapist is not altruistically motivated to be concerned for victims, when the client's condition becomes critical, and the therapist is forced to choose between them and their cafe lifestyle, registration, reputation, research, business, overseas holidays, long weekends, interstate conference with all-inclusive wine tour, private school fees, regular restaurant dining, latest Tinder date, intellectual pursuits, social recognition, or personal safety - they will not choose the client. Most therapists will sell out and suddenly change a client's diagnosis to 'mentally ill' the moment the client exposes their professional inadequacy, insincerity, incompetence, and unwillingness to deviate from their 'money for old rope' routine. If a victim bonds with one of these secular professionals for the purpose of processing extreme abuse, they risk being prematurely abandoned at a most crucial time. It is safer not to commence the recovery process at all, rather than die halfway through. And do not think the therapist will take responsibility for their part in the victim's downfall. They will justify their abandonment according to their code of therapeutic engagement and management, and ultimately blame the victim for their poor choices. The client was after all, just another personality disordered nut, and they have a filing cabinet full of those to fill the void. All mental health workers reserve their perceived right to hide behind a fagade of professionalism. Arrogant or not, they will in times of stress, fear, or ignorance revert to this default setting. Alternatively, victims can line up at one of the community-based counselling services affiliated with the church denominations currently under the Royal Commission investigation for covering up child abuse. Non-government organisations dedicated solely to child abuse counselling are poorly staffed and typically infiltrated with perpetrators. Child actor Sarah Monahan documented how Bravehearts tried to sabotage her lawsuit against the actor who sexually abused her on-set of the Hey Dad TV show. Paul Wilson's wife was on the Bravehearts advisory board. Following her husband's pedophile conviction, Bravehearts replaced her with the Bond University lecturer and Queensland Police detective who lied to destroy my psychology career. Complex trauma resulting from severe child abuse requires years of therapy. During critical recovery times, multiple weekly sessions need to be interspersed with a residential care facility staffed by experts with specialist training. Unfortunately, no such thing exists in Australia. During the late 1980s and 90s, a standard therapy session lasted 60 minutes. The victim of severe child abuse could expect to attend two sessions per week. At university, I was taught that the APS recommended 1.5-hour sessions for highly traumatised victims to ensure they did not leave therapy in a hyper-aroused state. However, income greedy modern practitioners only offer one 50-minute therapy session per week. In accordance with industry guidelines, they deduct 10 minutes per hour for writing case notes and reports. Fifty minutes per week is ridiculously insufficient for victims of extreme child abuse to process their experiences. Experienced psychologists may charge around $330 per session. Inexperienced or unskilled psychologists are usually desperate for clientele and therefore more willing to be paid $130 per hour to counsel victims of crime. Psychology receives scarce funding from the Australian government. Presently, Medicare will cover about six therapy sessions, which is just enough therapy to trigger a victim to suicide. Psychiatry is completely funded via Medicare and therefore more accessible to victims who have been too busy surviving to earn high incomes. The moment you engage a therapist under a government scheme like Medicare, your personal information is recorded in a powerful system that may come back to bite you. Your case notes can be subpoenaed, and your diagnoses used against you in educational, professional, and legal settings. Therapists often operate within clinical teams, attend supervision, and debrief with peers, friends or relatives. In this way, therapists may unwittingly disclose your identity and whereabouts to your perpetrators. If your therapist knowingly reports to the network, they may use their position and connections to set you up for false internment in prison or hospital where victims are silenced. As a precaution, engage a counsellor who ranks low on the mental health power hierarchy, use a pseudonym, and pay in cash. * * * The following heads of the APS (Australian Psychological Society) are known MK- ULTRA perpetrators: ABBPS Chairpersons 1955-1956 Oscar Adolph Oeser 1957- 1958 Cecil A. Gibb (Fort Street High School, University of Sydney) 1958- 1959 Donald W. McElwain 1959- 1960 Alfred Gordon Hammer 1962-1963 Ronald Taft APS Presidents 1977-1978 Peter Sheehan 1984-1985 Ian K. Waterhouse 1993-1994 Kevin M. McConkey 2008-2010 Bob Montgomery 'Fiona,' my therapist implored. 'I read Gavan Palk's reference. That's the most amazing reference I've ever read.' 'I know. I was so good at what I did. I just wanted to work with gifted kids...' 'Fiona, would you like me to help you get your registration back?' I closed my teary eyes and shook my head. 'I mean later, when you're ready?' 'It's too late,' I lamented. 'The damage is done. Honestly, if AHPRA turned around right now and offered me my rego - I'd tell them to go fuck themselves.' 'Really?' 'My passion for psychology is dead.' * * * Trauma-Focussed Integration I shifted restlessly on the lounge which was grubby from a thousand clients' sweat and tears. I reluctantly began, 'I was swimming laps yesterday. I got to my eighth lap and felt a sense of relaxation come over me, like I was finally cognitively digesting last week's session. Then I heard an inaudible voice say, 'It's okay. I'll take care of this.' Initially, I thought it might be a God thing because it felt similar - but that wasn't God. I said out aloud, 'Who the fuck are you?" 'Who was it?' 'An alter.' 'Do you want to talk with her?' My eyes widened. 'No!' 'Why not?' 'I'm scared of her.' 'Oh, so you know who she is?' 'A name came to mind. Sascha.' 'Who's Sascha?' # 'A scary Amazonian warrior. She's fierce.' 'Okay, so let's chat with her.' I glared at him with trepidation. 'Of course, you want to do this!' My therapist positioned himself near me, placed a cushion on my lap, and motioned for me to rest my hands on it. 'So, I just want you to set up a meeting and have a chat.' 'Let's just get one thing straight: I am not going to let her into my mind and experience this from her perspective, coz that will end in one of two ways: either she seduces you - or beats you up.' 'Well, if those are my two choices, I suppose I choose seduction.' I smiled. 'Yeah, well she did take out a therapist once when I was young.' He began tapping my hands. I reluctantly cooperated. I began picturing a meeting room in my mind. It was a basement in Holsworthy, where Gittinger first assessed me. I saw pale grey concrete walls, a wooden table and two chairs. Sascha sat opposite me, dressed in Army uniform. She was seven-foot tall with auburn hair that fell past her shoulders in wavy layers. Her muscular arms were crossed in front of her chest. I awkwardly began. So, err, hi. The tapping stopped. 'What's going on?' my therapist asked. I described the scene. 'I really don't want to talk with her. She's just one of those angry aggressive lesbian types that I don't gravitate toward.' 'Oh, so that's what this is about. She's gay and you feel uncomfortable with that.' 'Well, yeah. Amazonian warrior princess alters are man-hating lesbians. That's what the cult women are. The cult women are gay or bisexual. The only reason they get married is to fulfil their duty to breed Illuminati children. They tried to condition or train me to be the same. But I'm not.' 'So, you have an issue with her being gay.' 'Err, I also have an issue with a few other things - like her killing peopleY 'Right.' 'She killed Jason!' 'So, you didn't do that. Sascha did.' 'Of course it wasn't me! I had no bloody say in it! I didn't even have time to think before she just took over, walked up to him - and snapped his neck!' 'Okay, so I want you to talk to her. See what she has to say about this.' I closed my eyes again while he resumed tapping my hands. I was back in the Holsworthy room, sitting opposite the angry lesbian. So, I tried again. As you can see, we need to talk-... Sascha leapt from her chair, grabbed me by the throat, and slammed me hard up against the wall. The tapping stopped. 'What's happening?' Me: 'Well, I am dangling in the air with her fingers around my throat. You might want to tap a little longer next time.' Tap-tap-tap ... Stand... down ... Soldier ... I managed. She dropped me. Now, I continued, / am your commanding officer and you will do os I soy. Sit down. She returned to her chair. You are part of a unit. Right now, the unit is going in one direction, working toward a common objective, but you are doing your own thing, going the opposite way. You are causing chaos and jeopardising the entire team. It's not okay to just eat meat and drink beer. Some others in the unit wont to eat fruit and veggies. And you can't go about swearing all the time - my mother and Jon are giving me grief over that. And lay off Jon I He's the one who supports the unit. He buys your beer! The tapping ceased. 'What's happening,' my therapist asked again. I relayed what just occurred. He said, 'You're doing all the talking. We want to hear from her. I'm sure she has something to say.' Tap-tap-tap ... I returned to the room. You must talk. I am ordering you to talk. She scowled at me with contempt and spoke: You think I'm stupid. 'What did she say?' my therapist asked. 'She said, "You think I'm stupid!"' 'Ohhh, so you think she's stupid.' 'Well,' I stumbled, 'I think she's ... all action.' 'So, you think she's stupid. Well, isn't that nice. That must make her feel really accepted.' Tap-tap-tap ... Look, I began sheepishly, / appreciate everything you've done. You've been out front this whole time, defending us all. You did all the hard work - and, you did it well. But now it's time for you to find something new to do instead of... killing people. You seem to like swimming. That Dagon training incident is obviously your thing, so maybe you con take care of the laps? She began to cry. 'What's happening?' my therapist asked. 'I made her cry.' Tap-tap-tap ... There's more to you, I puzzled. I stretched to see what was behind Sascha. There must be more of you. Suddenly - the scene changed. I was in the Holsworthy underground. The rough walls were carved out of rock. A small girl sat on the ground before me. She looked no more than eight years old. Her auburn curls sat in layers. She was sobbing aloud. Her tears drew clean lines down her filthy face. A gun was slung over her shoulder. 'Why don't you approach her?' my therapist asked. 'Because she's holding an AK-forty-sevenl' 'Talk to her. Find out what's going on.' Suddenly, I was viewing things from the child's perspective, behind a cocked gun. It was like being in a computer shooting game as I kicked open a row of cell doors and mowed down the occupants. Then -1 was back in front of the sobbing child, her clothes splattered in blood. I crouched down in front of her and examined her face. Her eyes faded to blue and I recognised myself. She snatched the gun and pointed it at my eyes: Back up! she warned between clenched teeth. Or I'll blow your fucking head off! I tilted my head to one side, smiled with pity, prised the gun from her little hands, scooped her tiny frame into my arms and hugged her close. Her entire body began to convulse against my chest. It's okay, I assured her. I'm so sorry. I began stroking her hair which fell off in a clump, revealing long, straight blonde hair. It was just a wig. They dressed me in a wig to create another alter who assumed responsibility for the killings. 'She's just a little kid,' I gasped. 'Yep, she's just a kid,' my therapist echoed. I returned to the meeting room where Sascha had sat. Instead of the angry warrior, I saw a petite teenage girl dressed in khaki, staring shamefully at the floor. She sighed in resignation as she pulled off her auburn wig to reveal long straight blonde hair. 'They're just children,' I shook my head. 'Both are children. They're minors.' 'Yes, there are. It wasn't their fault.' 'What?!' The words felt like a burning sword piercing my being. 'It's not your fault.' I dropped my head into the couch and wept. 'Come on/ my therapist almost whispered as he gently placed my limp hands back on the cushion. He tapped as I cried and cried from some unfathomable place. 'I want my mummy/ I finally uttered. Just then I remembered Anne Conlon approaching to console me - but pushed the mental image away in disgust. Eventually I settled, wiped my blurry eyes, and spoke. 'My daughter made me do a personality test.' He laughed. 'Which one.' 'I don't know, some vocational test. She's doing an intro psych unit and the lecturer has the class playing around with personality tests. She hassled me until I agreed to do it. She reckoned it was accurate. So, I did it. I couldn't believe it. It was spot on. It perfectly described what I'm like in relationships, what I was like at work and uni. It explained how I can extract conversation out of anyone, and how that enables me to identify people's strengths and delegate work tasks to them. Guess what profession it matched me to?' 'What?' 'Psychologist.' We laughed. 'And the other career choices were interests that I've already sort of pursued, like teaching, writing, journalism, and acting. It identified that I get bored easily and need jobs that are forever changing and allow me to be autonomous and creative. It also described me as the most friendly and caring personality type... I'm not a bad person.' 'Who said you were a bad person?' 'Oh, Bond and ... all the other pedos.' 'Well of course they'd say that - that's what perpetrators do.' 'I don't help people because I was abused and now suffer Save-the-worldSyndrome. I help people because that is a feature of my core personality. The test identified my core personality that exists apart from my child abuse. I am more than my abuse.' His moth gaped open at my pivotal realisation. 'Wow.' He sighed. 'Let's sit with that. You are more than your abuse.' 'I am not solely defined by my child abuse. That test showed me I have a personality beneath the PTSD. I have a good, healthy personality that has nothing to do with my abuse.' * * * Australia's Therapeutic Wasteland I processed the first half of my abuse, primarily incest and ritual abuse experiences, during the early 1990s. My last drawings of that memory retrieval phase showed my being spun in an egg-like contraption in a CIA lab beneath ANSTO. I showed the drawings to my mother who asserted, 'That's enough now. You don't need to remember anymore.' So, I stopped. Stopping the memories was probably a good decision since I had insufficient therapeutic support at the time. Although I had seen psychiatrists since my sixteenth birthday, they caused more harm than good. The first committed suicide. The second failed his final psychiatry examination six times. The third dismissed my PTSD flashbacks of ritual abuse as a 'metaphor for incest,' while his nursing staff mocking me as I lay in a foetal position beneath my hospital bed, screaming at vivid images of babies being murdered. I defiantly poked my 20-year-old finger at my useless physician's face and asserted that while I may not have understood my memories, I refused to deny them. I also refused to numb myself with their vile drugs. I was on my own. I had no way of understanding what I was experiencing. Australia offered no experts, no books, and the internet had not been invented. So, I implemented the only thing my state school education taught me - how to teach myself. I set about researching my condition. After completing art college, I fell into post graduate studies in art therapy. That course contained an introductory unit of psychology. The study of psychology seemed more scientific than drawing Jungian mandalas, so I transferred to that. Psychology, followed by motherhood, led me to my ultimate passion - gifted education. The combination of academic knowledge of psychology, art psychotherapy, and gifted education, formed the foundation of my escape from the matrix. I also fell into supporting victims of ritual abuse and mind control, where I discovered how to bypass the conscious mind and access implicit memories using drawing. Finally, 25 years after my first flashback, I possessed the knowledge, skill, and fortitude to finish the task. I found therapists capable of executing my design. But don't mistake this for some kind of happy ending. None of these practitioners wanted me on their books. Like most Australian therapists, they were clueless about ritual abuse and mind control. Yet this time round, I refused to let therapist inadequacy interfere with my goal. I planned every step of my integration process and hammered my therapists to help implement my plan. Eventually, my 35-year marathon paid off. I remembered what was done to me and why, which smashed the programming and facilitated integration. Why Integrate? Research indicates there are benefits to integration. One study found, 'Patients with dissociative disorder who integrated their dissociated self-states were found to have reduced symptomatology compared with those who did not integrate.' I was relatively high functioning immediately prior to integrating. I'm not saying I was perfectly healthy, but I was certainly as stable as 99 percent of the mental health workers I have ever met. Victims like me often present as high functioning, which is why victims are over-represented in the helping professions. Victims can compartmentalise their lives into roles (which is the only benefit of forced dissociation). For example, prior to my stroke, I coped easily with doing two master level degrees at once. I could totally immerse myself in academic study from dawn to midnight and block out all else. I felt most relaxed when writing research papers about complex issues; in a state of Csikszentmihalyi's 'flow.' Victims like me feel comfortable and function optimally under extreme stress. We perform amazingly under pressure in hospital emergency rooms and under cross examination in the court room. We are the type you want in a life-threatening situation like a terror attack. But don't ask us to stand in aisle six and decide which brand of tea to purchase. Soldiers with PTSD do the same, perform brilliantly in the field yet fail to cope with simple decisions at home. Someone has to take that slack. Before integration, I was impossibly demanding and stressful to live with. My children were vicariously traumatised to the point where they needed therapy themselves. My family felt responsible for fixing a situation only integration could alleviate, and his health wore down trying to placate me and juggle my mood swings. Our family safety was compromised by the vulnerability dissociation brings because a dissociative victim is accessible. Perpetrators trigger victims to keep the programming active, force the victim into error as part of a set-up, or access and instruct them under hypnosis. When a victim is triggered by something that reminds them of the past, their right brain hemisphere is activated and reacts as if the trauma incident were presently occurring. They may feel angry, afraid, dizzy, and or nauseous, for example. Because their left brain is deactivated during a trigger, they do not know they are reliving a childhood trauma. Instead, they think they are emotionally reacting to something that is happening now. The left brain mistakes this right brain emotional perception as new stimuli related to the current surroundings and sets about doing its job of sequencing and ascribing context. It pins the blame on someone or thing in the victim's immediate environment. I typically blamed my husband and kids. B. Brand, C. Classen, S. McNary, & P. Zaveri (2009). A Review of Dissociative Disorders Treatment Studies. The Journal of nervous and mental disease. 197. 646-54. Trauma-Based Forced Dissociation damages the frontal lobes and splits these areas from the remaining brain. The frontal lobes conduct the brain like an orchestra. Frontal lobe executive dysfunction impairs the victim's ability to plan, organise, concentrate, remember, multi-task, make decisions, control emotions, put the brakes on inappropriate behaviour, and find the motivation to start a job task. The result is chaos, like when every instrument in an orchestra plays a different tune. When someone is not integrated, the burden of their chaotic mind falls onto others, mainly family. It takes a team of mental health workers, plus many thousands of dollars, to manage a dissociative client's daily life. The workload and associated costs are severely reduced by integration. I integrated because I hate pain. I could not stand the physical pain caused by dissociation. I could not stand that sickly, confused sense of dread that consumed my being at Halloween and other significant ritual dates. I was tired of unconscious trauma memories manifesting as depression, anxiety, terror, anger, hypervigilance, nightmares, and inexplicable mood swings. I was tired of losing control of my emotions and will. My entire life was one big trauma response. Prior to integration, every decision I made was informed by my trauma experiences. Sleep disturbance is another reason to integrate. Prior to dealing with my issues I suffered dreadful sleep disturbances. In my youth I awoke from nightmares, screaming. I had trouble falling and staying asleep. A clue to the relevance of consistent sleep is found in the following extract: A study was carried out at Stanford University some years ago concerning the nature of brainwashing... Not interruption of sleep but lack of dreaming was important. Theories now suggest that what we experience during the day is processed through dreams at night; when this continuity is broken, we lose our psychological eguilibrium and controls.'^^^ Sleep is essential for processing. Victims are typically programmed not to sleep, to stop them processing, remembering and integrating. I slept soundly for the first time in my life after dealing with the ritual abuse in my early 20s. Integration Is not a Cure-All I had hoped integration would completely cure my PTSD. It didn't. Complex PTSD may be a permanent, developmental condition. The standard treatment for PTSD involves convincing the client that although they were unsafe during the original trauma, they are safe now. The problem is, the victim must remove herself from the source of trauma in order to heal. In the case of victims of ritual abuse and mind control, the abuse is ongoing thanks to perpetual harassment from the trafficking network. Thus, my fellow victims and I have never had the chance to completely recover. Another limitation is that the brain only has so much plasticity when it comes to reversing personality changes forcibly created during development. It is like sending a young John Collier & Malcolm Collier (1986). Visual Anthropology: Photography as a Research Method. University of New Mexico, 121. child to ballet to straighten out her twisted knees. The resultant changes stick for life. Similarly, I can't easily switch back to the introvert I was until age three years. While a victim's brain can't be completely restored as though it were never tampered with, successful integration achieves remarkable clarity of mind and dramatic symptom reduction, making it a worthwhile goal. Integration completely removed many symptoms of forced dissociation, and dramatically reduced the intensity and duration of my PTSD symptomology. The difference between dissociation and integration is like comparing a nightmare with dawn. Integrate While Young I tried to fully integrate in the early 1990s but lacked the therapeutic support to do so. Consequently, I had to wait another 25 years to finish the process. I found integration extra physically and mentally gruelling due to my older age. Young people bounce back more easily. With integration I began noticing the physical pain my body had always been in, particularly the nerve damage years of electrocution caused. My integration correlated with a sharp decline in my neurological health including memory and concentration. I think it caused brain damage. So, I recovered mentally just in time to begin my physical decline into old age. I integrated too late to do something constructive with my life. I am now too old and disabled to work, to start all over again in some career. Had I integrated 30 years ago I might have been able to establish myself in a chosen profession unheeded by susceptibility to triggers. Most importantly, I woke from my dissociative slumber to realise my kids were grown, and that I had not been psychologically (or sometimes physically) present for them. I longed to experience motherhood all over again with an in-tact mind. These are the reasons I recommend victims pursue integration in their youth. Recipe for Therapy Success I will now explain what worked for me and why. I will offer my approach to the forced dissociation typically encountered within ritual abuse and MK-ULTRA mind control. I am not presenting my experience as a set formula for fixing this type of abuse. Like I said, no two cases are identical. Each victim's abuse is individually tailored to their unique combination of personality, environmental, and other variables. Individual subject characteristics, the quality of technology used, plus perpetrator skill, shape how abuse manifests in a victim's therapy and daily life. For example, my perpetrators were the MK- ULTRA pioneers and used military grade equipment. When I was spun (as all victims are) it was on sophisticated equipment instead of a home-made spit roast set-up. A further example of difference is, I received a Grande Dame version of the Princess programming other victims report experiencing. These differences likely contributed to the following: (a) My personality switches were comparatively seamless and manifested as mood swings, instead of blatant Sybil style switching, (b) I was co-conscious during therapy, while most victims remain dissociative and typically emerge from a session oblivious to what just occurred, (c) I have never heard voices, when most of the DID survivors I know do. I tested highly intuitive, creative and intelligent. This may explain how I designed and drove my own therapy process in the required direction. I trusted that my implicit memory knew where to go, based on its intimate knowledge of what Gittinger did to me. Further, I had experienced therapy both as a client and a practitioner, which armed me with understanding of how people's brains typically respond to therapy, how trauma memories behave, and how productive therapy feels. Another factor to consider is, my experience of ritual abuse and mind control is the most extreme example imaginable, incorporating the entire menu of child abuse possibilities. Therefore, my integration was destined to be unusually complicated, intense, and dangerous. So, to reiterate - do not use my experience as a blueprint for recovery. My Aim The purpose of this chapter, and the entire book, is to validate victim's memories and trigger new ones. For therapists, I provide clues regarding what happened to their clients, and suggestions for guiding victims on the healing path. The most important thing therapists say I provide them is an understanding of the programming and the roles played by dissociative parts. Therapists say I have helped them to: realise what questions to ask of clients; gain the trust of dissociated parts; relieve the guilt and shame felt by parts; convey belief and validation of client experience; relieve repressed emotion; and make sense of the trauma experience. My primary aim is to provide victims with a sense of hope in the face of impossible adversity. My message is this: If I can do it, if I can survive the ultimate abuse experience, so can you. There is a way out of your unique programming matrix, and with persistence and trust in your Right Hemisphere, your implicit brain will lead the way. Definitions Understanding begins with appropriate language usage. Psychology and psychiatry are saturated with language and labels that simply do not explain or match my abuse experiences. Consequently, I have adapted or created my own relevant terms. Trauma-Based Forced Dissociation is where a victim is intentionally traumatised, using refined techniques, to artificially induce the brain's natural ability to dissociate. To explain, the brain is created with a defence system that kicks in when overwhelmed by sensory input. Consequently, when someone goes through the windscreen during a car crash, they might recall the moment prior to this, or perhaps the ambulance ride afterwards, but typically not the moment of impact. The brain naturally dissociates to protect the person from feeling overwhelmed by the trauma. In 1991, psychiatrist John Briere conducted a study of post-traumatic dissociation in 450 male and female adults receiving therapy for child sexual abuse. On average, the abuse started at age 6.5 years, lasted 11 years, and involved two perpetrators. Near 60 percent of subjects experienced abuse-related amnesia before the age of 18 years. The study also showed the likelihood of memory repression increased with certain variables: abuse at an earlier age, longer duration, and greater violence (e.g., multiple perpetrators, physical injury, threat of death if victim disclosed). John Briere & John Conte (1993). Self-reported amnesia for abuse in adults molested as children. J Trauma Stress, 6:21. Dirty doctors, psychologists, and neuroscientists conducted unethical research experiments to understand this natural dissociation phenomenon. They discovered how sensory overload techniques (including spinning, torture, auditory and visual stimulation, and psychotropic drugs) coupled with unethical hypnosis, could induce dissociation on demand. The result of trauma-based forced dissociation is a compartmentalised brain. Each 'alter' sits isolated behind amnesia walls and possesses its own network of neural circuitry. Experts in personality and motivation then load each isolated brain section with an independent set of memories and personality characteristics. The abusers also intentionally create neural circuits which act as thought loop traps, so that instead of processing the abuse memories, the victim's mind gets stuck in unproductive thought cycles in the form of intellectualisation, or obsessive thoughts. Integration is the retracing and unravelling of the forced dissociation process. Integration results when the victim's brain overwrites the unhealthy neural pathways that perpetrators created via unethical conditioning, and then rewrites those pathways with new knowledge. This process depends on neuroplasticity, the brain's ability to change. Belief in the brain's plasticity is what enables the victim to cut replacement neural pathways and so achieve integration. To illustrate, I suffered a vestibular system stroke in 2009 which affected my vision and balance. Following the stroke, I could not balance on one leg, when immediately prior to my injury I attended a weekly acrobatics class in which I effortlessly performed front walkovers. Thinking my stroke was in the visual processing system, I embarked upon a relevant rehabilitation program. While this did restore a significant amount of functioning including improved balance, a vestibular rehabilitation program six years later was life changing. My rehabilitation therapists attributed my success to my belief in neuroplasticity, in the brain's ability to cut new neural pathways to bypass my stroke damage. They drew comparison to a physiotherapy student who failed the same therapy program simply because he did not believe it could work. My point is, victims must have faith in the therapy process. They must believe their subconscious brain knows exactly what happened to them and will tell them what steps to take in order to heal. In fact, the victim's brain will usually know better than any therapist. Trauma-Focussed therapy identifies and processes the traumatic incidents that initially caused the dissociation. It treats the cause instead of the symptoms of dissociation. Nothing substantial results from topical therapy techniques that superficially manage anxiety and depression, or which focus on meeting every dissociative part. The MK-ULTRA perpetrators know this, which is why their modern therapy approaches designed to keep victims in a perpetual state of dissociation, helplessness, vulnerability, and dependence on a psychiatric system that has failed to heal since its inception 100 years ago. Developmental Trauma Injury is a permanent condition caused by chronic early childhood trauma. This condition has no name within mainstream psychiatry, notably the DSM. While it lacks a name, it has no treatment, and can be attributed to other inappropriate and unhelpful labels. This problem is by design, since psychiatry traditionally taught doctors that child abuse has zero harmful effects. Two DSM labels that mainstream psychiatry and psychology use are DID (formerly MPD) and PTSD. These terms do not adequately capture the complexity of ritual abuse and mind control. Trauma has its greatest impact during a child's first decade and becomes more like PTSD with age. So, PTSD does not describe the impact of childhood trauma on a developing brain. The terms Complex Trauma and Complex PTSD have been used by trauma- focussed therapists, but they too are developmentally insensitive and not listed in the DSM. Van Der Kolk'^®^ provided an argument for the inclusion of Developmental Trauma Disorder in the DSM-5; however, the word 'disorder' beguiles the criminal nature of what was inflicted upon victims. I think Developmental Trauma Injury best describes the impact of early-onset child abuse on development. Nature of Trauma-Based Dissociation Treating mind control victims requires an understand of what the perpetrators did to cause the dissociation. Knowing removes the power that mystery has over the victim and transitions the victim from learned helplessness into feeling empowered to act. Conscious awareness is the key to rupturing and collapsing the programming, just like the final scene of The Matrix film. The MK-ULTRA mind control process is based on trauma. Trauma is employed at every step of the way. Trauma is used to: create the initial attachment violation; bond victims to their perpetrators; fragment the brain into multiple personalities; program or condition a victim; and enhance a victims' natural abilities. Since mind control is trauma based, it is essential for victims and therapists to understand how perpetrators manipulate the human body's natural trauma response, and treat victims using a trauma-focussed therapy approach. There is a known typical response to chronic trauma experienced during childhood. This response kicks in when a child is exposed to multiple occurrences of sexual, physical or psychological abuse, or neglect. This trauma response is what most leading psychologists and psychiatrists in the 1950s - 70s were CIA-funded to study and artificially induce within a laboratory setting. Considered in the context of ritual abuse and mind control, the trauma process reveals how and why CIA perpetrators manipulated it. CIA-funded scientists mapped exactly which part of the brain does what. The public have not been granted access to this information. Instead, a general idea of perpetrator methods is obtained from examining and comparing: what mainstream therapists know about the effects of chronic childhood trauma; the relationship of this to the attachment process; the content of mainstream scientific research publications relevant to trauma and memory; and the wealth of knowledge stored in victims' implicit memory. Victims typically know what was done to us and why. Gittinger stored this information somewhere in my brain, in preparation for my becoming a programmer. While I do not immediately recall this content, if I follow a hunch it invariably leads to a flood of recall. B. van der Kolk (2005). Developmental Trauma Disorder: Toward a rational diagnosis for children with complex trauma histories. Psychiatric Annals. 35, 401-8. Implicit Trauma Memory Storage A RIGHT LEFT ^ RIGHT model of hemispheric processing makes sense of how the brain processes trauma. The right hemisphere is emotional, intuitive, tactile, and visual- spatial. It receives new stimuli including sight, taste, smell, sound, touch, and body position. The right brain functions implicitly. Its implicit functions include attention, learning, thinking, and memory. It communicates non-verbally via facial expression and body language. The left hemisphere compares new information with known. It sequences and categorises new based on previous experience, which stamps the experience with a time-date-place. The left brain applies simple language to a new experience so it may be discussed by the victim. Different types of memory are supported by different brain systems. One major distinction exists between short and long-term memory. Long-term memory is further divided into Implicit and Explicit memory. Explicit memory is conscious, verbal, and comparative. It is stored in the left hemisphere. Implicit memory is non-conscious, non¬ verbal, and is stored in the right hemisphere. Implicit memories include visual images, emotions, and body sensations. The right brain unconsciously stores and responds to emotions, faces, gestures, places, smells, sounds, and touch that a victim experienced in childhood. Body sensations are unconsciously regulated by the autonomic nervous system (which controls heartbeat, blood flow, breathing, digestion, etc). Hence a direct link between implicit memories and body reactions. Traumatic memories are not processed like ordinary ones. Trauma causes the explicit memory system to fail and the implicit memory system to activate instead. Trauma experiences enter the right hemisphere. They are not passed to the left hemisphere for processing. Consequently, trauma memories remain fragmented and stuck in the right hemisphere as unconscious pictures, emotions, and physical sensations. Trauma memories lack the left-brain sequencing that makes sense of experience, and the language application needed to verbally describe experience. This is how repressed trauma memories form, and how the body remembers what the conscious mind forgets. The body remembers what the conscious mind forgets. Research indicates trauma and dissociation are localised in the implicit right brain. For instance, fMRI research shows mainly right hemispheric activation in PTSD patients during dissociation.^®® Further, flashbacks activate the right hemisphere and deactivate the left. Specifically, Brodmann's area 19 lights up in the right brain while Broca's area blacks out in the left. Flashbacks simultaneously activate the right brain and deactivate the left. Lanius et al. (2005). Functional connectivity of dissociative responses in posttraumatic stress disorder: a functional magnetic resonance imaging investigation. Biol Psychiatry. Apr 15, 57:8, 873-84. Hippocampal Bypass The hippocampus is essential for certain forms of learning and memory. Autobiographical memories rely on hippocampal processing and storage of what, where and when life events occur. The hippocampus is associated with implicit memory, including relational memory for face-scene pairings, incidental learning, long-term memory retrieval, and rapid associative learning. Chronic trauma damages the hippocampus and causes difficulty with storing and recalling information. During a trauma event, the flood of sensory information short-circuits the hippocampus. Trauma memories, including emotions and visual images, bypass hippocampal processing and move directly to implicit memory where they stay undigested, perpetually stuck in the age at which the trauma happened. Mainstream scientists recently developed a prosthetic hippocampus. When a brain receives sensory input, it creates a memory that travels through multiple areas of the hippocampus. The signal is re-encoded at each area until it reaches the final region as a completely different signal that is sent off for long-term storage. DARPA (US Defence Advanced Research Projects Agency) commissioned university and hospital scientists to create an artificial memory system that interfered with this encoding system.Researchers identified a brain's neural firing patterns, synthesised a neural firing code from this, and used an electrode implant to communicate this code. They then bypassed a section of neural pathway in the hippocampus and used their implant to bridge this gap by relaying the implant's neural message, in the brain's own code. Publications on this project have been vague and varied. Depending on what we read, the device reportedly bypasses the hippocampus, is a hippocampal implant, forms new long-term memories, creates short-term memories, creates implicit memories, reinforces learning, replaces memory, or improves memory. Whatever the description, DARPA, who are solely into weaponizing everything they fund, developed a brain implant that can be used to implant implicit conditioning (programming), repress memory, and create false memories. Declassified documents reveal the US military have long possessed science and technology that is decades in advance of mainstream publication. It is therefore plausible that MK-ULTRA perpetrators possessed the technology for manipulating the hippocampus back in the 1970s. Pavlovian Fear Conditioning The hippocampus plays a role in regulating the fear response. Hippocampal damage prevents the person consciously remembering they were conditioned to fear something - but does not affect the actual fear conditioning itself. Also, strong emotions including fear naturally bypass the hippocampus and prove hard to extinguish. The fear response is an example of classical conditioning, a type of implicit memory which formed the basis of MK-ULTRA mind control. Pavlov (1927) paired a bell (conditioned stimulus) with a shock (unconditioned stimulus). This pairing triggered an aversive emotional state (fear) at the sound of the bell. The conditioned stimulus elicits an innate ™ Robert E Hampson et al (2018). Developing a hippocampal neural prosthetic to facilitate human memory encoding and recall. J. Neural Eng, 15. behavioural response, plus physiological responses controlled by the autonomic nervous system or the endocrine systems. Classical conditioning develops and maintains PTSD. Orval Hobart Mowrer's (1960) Two-Factor Learning Theory incorporated classical and operant conditioning. The first factor is learning by association (classical conditioning). The second factor is instrumental learning (avoidance behaviour) which involves consistent avoidance of both the conditioned stimulus (bell) and the unconditioned stimulus (electrocution). This theory explains PTSD triggers. The fear generated by child abuse is associated with other cues (e.g., medical procedures) which are avoided by the victim. At age 10 years, I was conditioned with the fear response as follows. ANSTO staff strapped my body to a medical bed and connected my brain to an EEG. They electrocuted my chest with paddles every time the EEG monitor indicated I was starting to fall asleep. This produced terror, a heart reaction, and an adrenalin surge. Consequently, when extremely threatened in adulthood, my fear triggered a physical sensation, a flashback. Every time I began falling asleep, I was jolted awake by a massive adrenalin surge, chest pain, and a heart that exceeded 240 beats per minute - perhaps higher, as that was the measurement device's threshold. Flashbacks are resurfacing visual images, sounds, smells, emotions, and physical sensations that were stored in the right brain's implicit memory during a trauma experience, and which flash into conscious awareness unchanged by the passing of time. During flashbacks, victims experience the images, emotions, and physical sensations they experienced during the trauma incident (which became frozen in time and remained undigested in the right hemisphere) as if they are experiencing them for the first time. My first and clearest visual flashback occurred in 1991.1 was sitting in a hospital bed when the room completely disappeared, and an entirely different scene appeared. It was like someone suddenly changed the channel on an enormous television screen. Suddenly I was looking close-up at a waterfall of blood cascading in slow motion. At the time I had no idea what I was seeing. After drawing the experience, I realised this was a memory from when I was five years old. I was kneeling in front of a table with my hands tied behind my back. My step-grandfather and his next-door neighbour were murdering the neighbour's three-year-old son on a makeshift altar in his front room. I was drugged, which explains why everything was a little fuzzy and moving in slow motion during my flashback. My most bizarre visual flashback occurred early one morning, when I was hung over from a party the night before. I awoke in a mildly dissociative state due to vertigo. I was disturbed by light streaming through the window. Every time I closed my eyes, I experienced something like a black-and-white film being projected onto the back of my eyelids. I saw landscape moving away from me at a rapid pace. I opened my eyes, thinking I was imagining things, then closed them again. Next, I saw landscape moving toward me. I stayed with the image and soon realised it was a visual flashback. I was riding in the back of an army jeep with a unit of male soldiers dressed in combat gear and carrying guns. When I looked toward the front of the vehicle, I saw two soldiers, a driver, and a passenger wearing a helmet and holding a gun. When I looked out the rear of the jeep, I saw we were driving on a dirt road. The landscape resembled Australia, but it wasn't. I explored this memory further using EMDR and remembered I was in Central America at age 14.1 Googled the guns, uniforms, and landscape I saw in my visual flashback and concluded it was Nicaragua. My most memorable physical sensation flashback occurred when I was asleep. I suddenly awoke at lam, screaming and arching at being electrocuted when I was 10 years old. It felt exactly like being electrocuted in the here and now. I could feel a huge 50cm wide electrode on my back and the individual pin pricks of heat. I screamed like I was being murdered. My startled husband stuffed a pillow over my face for fear of the neighbours phoning the police, which didn't help. Some flashbacks last days. On one occasion I had a flashback of being drugged. I felt stoned for three days. The most excruciating episode was a three-day pain flashback which I likened to drug-free childbirth. Valium did nothing to reduce the pain. Flashbacks like these are rare and increase in intensity and duration when the victim actively seeks integration. More commonly, repressed memories surface as comparatively mild physical sensations including: headaches, migraine, isolated external head pain, chest pain, limb pain, weakness, fatigue, sleepiness, racing heart, shortness of breath, dizziness, unsteadiness, vertigo, fainting, chest tightness, shaking, itchiness, sweating, nausea, stomach aches, numbness, tingling, surreal sense, choking sensation, hot flashes, cold chills, blurred vision, ringing in the ears, and irregular heartbeat. Victims, therapists, and doctors are typically clueless regarding the cause of these symptoms, so they treat them with drugs instead of identifying and treating the trauma that caused the symptoms. Other symptoms of survivors include grand mal epileptic seizures with a temporary cessation of breathing. Doctors managed to strap one survivor to on EEC machine in the midst of a seizure - his brain waves registered normal - in other words, the fit was not a true grand mal, but a body memory of electric shocks years after the torture occurred. State-Dependent Memory Flashbacks are triggered when the victim returns to the state of mind they were in at the time of the original trauma. This mechanism is based on the concept of state-dependent memory which determines that memory retrieval works best when a victim is in the same state of consciousness they were in when the memory was created. In 2015, researchers identified a brain mechanism that can (a) hide traumatic memories, and (b) retrieve those repressed memories.Scientists administered to mice a drug that stimulates extra-synaptic GABA receptors. These receptors alter the brain's state and can make a person 'aroused, sleepy, alert, sedated, inebriated or even psychotic.' The drug made the mice mildly inebriation. The doped mice were put in a Skinner box and electrocuted. When the mice were returned to the same box the next day, they did not recall being electrocuted and so behaved normally. However, when scientists drugged them Alex Constantine (2014). Virtual Government: CIA Mind Control Operations in America. Feral House, 152. Vladimir Jovasevi et al. (2015). GABAergic mechanisms regulated by miR-33 encode state-dependent fear. Nature Neuroscience, 18,1265-71. before putting them in the box again, the mice froze in fear. The mice remembered being electrocuted after they were returned to the same brain state created by the drug. This experiment demonstrates that: (a) extra-synaptic GABA receptors help to encode trauma memories and store them in the subconscious memory system; and (b) trauma that occurs while extra-synaptic GABA receptors are activated can't be remembered unless the same receptors are reactivated. In lay terms, this study indicates that drugs and electrocution can be used to create, and then access, repressed trauma memories. If a child is drugged while being electrocuted, the drug reroutes processing and forces the brain to store memories in the implicit system where they can't be consciously accessed. To access the implicit memory, the brain must be returned to the same state of consciousness as when the memory was stored - the same emotional mood, physical place, activity, drug- induced condition, or hypnosis-induced dissociative state. The mice study suggests something else - that triggers may be used to retrieve repressed memories. Triggers are Treasures Trauma causes the child's brain to create a neural pathway that is managed by the instinctual part of the brain. This lower brain area assumes control over brain and body functions including the fight-flight response. The new pathway is maintained by reminders of the original trauma. These reminders, or triggers, can be smells, tastes, sounds, sights, situations, or body movements. When exposed to the trigger, the child responds as if being traumatised again, and shifts \r\to fight-flight mode. Perpetrators regularly retraumatise the victim throughout childhood and adulthood, to keep desired neural pathways open, unwanted neural pathways shut, and the final programming structure intact. The CIA and their complicit organisations employ agent scum, informants, and provocateurs to continually harass, set-up, and retraumatise adult victims. To the outsider, this highly organised, standardised operation looks like the victim is either paranoid or - as one of my friends labelled me - a 'shit magnet.' Victims of ritual abuse and mind control are conditioned to avoid triggers. People place trigger warnings at the start of videos and articles about the subject. Therapists are careful not to trigger their DID clients. In the early 1990s, therapists were taught to 'respect patients' defence mechanisms,' which was another way of saying, do not trigger clients. This avoidance of triggers is another means of keeping victims stuck in their trauma cycle. Since 1991,1 have swum against the ignorant tide and encouraged victims to bulldoze through their defence mechanisms and embrace triggers. Triggers are the key to memory retrieval. Consider: when you lose your car keys, your memory must be triggered for you to recall where you left them. It's a common-sense, right-brain concept. Triggers are the key to memory retrieval Here is an email to my herapist which provides an extreme example of how I used triggering to retrieve my memories. My co-consciousness allowed me to steer the therapy process. Using EMDR as an ignition, I could dive into my subconscious mind, target specific memories, fish these out and draw them into my conscious awareness. 20/02/2015 3:08 PM This is what I need to do - I need to deal with the attachment violation. Whatever Gittinger did to abuse this phenomenon has risen to the surface of my consciousness. It is preventing me from functioning. Unfortunately, I must endure more pain before I can deal with it. I can't concentrate, study, function In this state of distraction. Anticipation of this planned remedy is all that is sustaining me right now. I need a double session asap. I am getting Jon to download the footage of Gittinger, join the several segments of his speaking, repeat this footage over and over on a loop and place the loop footage on a DVD. Then, I need you to do the EMDR. As soon as you have done the EMDR I need Jon to play the Gittinger footage on our TV. I need you to do the EMDR 3 times allowing me to process and react between each dose. I do not want you to refuse to repeat the EMDR - no matter what you perceive my reaction to be. I know exactly what I am doing and you must trust me. My heart will certainly hold up - it was fine even during the flat-lining regression. It is just a simulation and not the real thing, if that makes sense. You and Jon must not touch me during any of this - unless I tell you to. You must not talk during this process - because saying the wrong thing pulls me out and prevents me from revisiting the place I need to see. I do not want to be grounded in any way to the present. I must be allowed to completely relive this one. Do not tell me that 'it's over' or to 'just let it be there, do not fight it' - These instructions are, and have always been. Counter-productive and inapplicable to what I am doing. I suspect I must travel back through 3 layers of programmed walls to reach the attachment programming. If we screw this up - I will only have to start all over again and I will not be able to move forward until this process is achieved. I anticipate this will rip open the attachment programming. If I have Gittinger's voice playing on a loop in the background I should be able to trigger myself and steer my mind to locate the memory. I do not care how exhausting or dangerous it looks - It is only me revisiting the past. I know when this is happening that I am not actually there. I am more than prepared for this. I am in no way at risk. I just need you to trust me and follow my instruction. * * * Integration Risks I do not suggest others copy how I did things. I knowingly, stubbornly flogged my body to its limits. I could have suffered a heart attack while processing the worst of my memories. Ideally, I would have had a medical team on standby during this stage of my healing and completed the most intense work as an inpatient in a suitable clinic with nursing staff and therapists who knew what they were doing. But this does not exist in Australia, so I winged it. Integration is a dangerous, painful process, the risks of which should be carefully considered before commencing. Besides the risks associated with abreaction, know that memory recovery triggers the programmers' built-in defence system. Each program is connected to a trauma incident which, when remembered, destroys the program. Consequently, programmers do everything to stop victims remembering their trauma. The programmers protect each program with a booby-trap which, when triggered, initiates conditioned pain, OCD thought loops, depression, anxiety, flooding, flashbacks, suicidal ideation, or the desire to self-harm. It is crucial for the victim to realise, these are not her thoughts, behaviours or will, but externally imposed thoughts and feelings. The victim must be relieved of the guilt and blame associated with artificially induced thoughts, feelings and behaviours. This includes being turned into a Manchurian Candidate and made to commit criminal acts they would otherwise shun from had they not been brainwashed zombies. Therapist Choice Integration starts with a suitable therapist. The last thing a victim needs is a lousy therapist who ditches them mid-integration. To maximise your chances of successful integration, select a therapist with a minimum 10 years of experience as a trauma-focussed practitioner. Ensure they possess advanced EMDR training and regularly update their skills at trauma-relevant workshops. You want someone stable who has worked on their own crap, and who entered the industry because they like helping people rather than to fix their own issues. Avoid someone who started off enthusiastic but has since become disillusioned with the industry. Ask them how and why they ended up in psychology, and whether they themselves have experienced therapy. If they become defensive at your probing, wave goodbye. A therapist must be intelligent and intuitive enough to work with bright victims. Psychologists gained an idea of their IQ level while learning IQ testing. Ask your candidate therapist what their IQ is. If it is under 130, they will prove too left-brain dominant and narrow-minded, feel threatened by victims, not understand your cognitive style, and relish at every opportunity to disprove your intelligence. Sounds immature, but it happens all the time. Some therapists will even use the power imbalance to punish victims. You need a therapist who is open-minded enough to appreciate that reality stretches beyond the limits of their own experience, so they do not mistake our legitimate experiences for insanity. You want someone who understands the spiritual dimension without erring toward the occult. Genuine Bible-believing Christian therapists are by far the best, but these are rare. Christianity is the cult's favourite cover. Most churches are social clubs at best, child trafficking operations at worst. For this reason, avoid most church-based counselling services. Therapist Gender For all victims, there are benefits to experiencing both male and female therapists at different stages of their healing process. But the implications of therapist gender should be considered. Many therapists have sex with their clients. And I am not just talking about male therapists. Female therapists will seduce male or female clients. I know of a female therapist in my local area who had sex with a dissociative female client's child alter. I researched the predator to find she was a proud member of the Freemason Qrder of the Eastern Star. Sometimes an unsuspecting therapist can be seduced. The sexual advances of a young, attractive female specifically trained to target and arouse men can be hard for male therapists to resist, since the male brain shuts down at a certain point during arousal. This is one way a victim will test the therapist. If he fails the test, he will likely meet a less attractive personality with combat skills. So, I recommend female victims engage a female therapist until the Beta alter is an integrated conscious brain component. Therapist Commitment Embarking upon the integration process is akin to boarding a roller coaster. Qnce the ride commences, the individual has three options: endure until the end when integration is achieved, be captured by the cult and reprogrammed, or jump. The therapist must commit to supporting the victim for the duration of the ride before it begins. Pulling out half-way can kill a client. It is the therapist's responsibility to ensure they have the knowledge and skills to do the job, and not chicken out the moment things become uncomfortable - as they surely will. Trauma and Attachment The impact of trauma is buffered by a child's attachment bond to their parents. If the attachment bond is missing, the child stops depending on others for help, and she can't regulate her emotions. Consequently, she becomes anxious, angry, and long to be cared for. Perpetrators intentionally destroy the child's natural attachment bond using torture to cause overwhelming trauma. They then take advantage of the child's longing for caring by using love bombing to create artificial attachment bonds between the child victim and her perpetrators. The bond between therapist and mind control victim is unique because it is influenced by the attachment violation perpetrated against the victim at a young age. The child's natural attachment to their biological mother was purposely and viciously severed. The victim was artificially bonded to a surrogate mother, the Grande Dame. My attachment with this person was particularly strong, considering my Grande Dame candidacy which made her my mentor and confidant. To further complicate the usual therapeutic relationship, most abusers are psychologists or psychiatrists. All this guarantees the victim will displace their feelings for her abusers, plus their attachment issues, onto the therapist. Subsequently, apart from the standard cult harassment and threats, the therapist's greatest challenge is managing the client-therapist bond which must be firmly established before any major integration work starts. Therapeutic Bonding The therapist provides a substitute attachment until the victim can develop a secure internal attachment. This process took me 18 months and it was a terrifying act of trust. Bonding with a therapist is essential for memory access and brain integration. Once the bond occurs, and all personality fragments agree to trust the therapist with their lives, the victim automatically transfers all feelings for the perpetrators onto the therapist. The upside to this situation is, the therapist is granted unprecedented access to the victim's mind and memories. The victim responds to the therapist's voice and instruction like a robot. Such passivity enables the victim to be pacified during times of extreme distress, by the mere sound of the therapist's voice. The downside to this bonding is, the victim is totally dependent on the therapist for as long as the portal to her past is open. At each trauma, bout of excruciating pain, wave of fear or terror, the victim seeks the therapist's voice - like when a screaming baby settles upon hearing her mother. If that voice does not come, the victim's pain and panic escalate. As in a mother-child relationship, the victim is pacified by just knowing the therapist is contactable. Much internal chaos can be avoided if the therapist is merely available. A sense of availability reduces the number of times the victim needs to physically contact the therapist. If the therapist is largely unavailable, if the victim must demand, beg and work for every minute of productive therapy received, this exacerbates the victim's frustration, anger, exhaustion, and the sense that she is losing her mind. As part of the bonding process, every front personality fragment will manifest and test the therapist, to determine whether they are intelligent, ethical, caring, humble, and spiritual enough to see the process through to its conclusion. Even after the therapeutic relationship is established, the victim will test the therapist at regular intervals, to check they are sufficiently committed for the victim to progress to the next level. The therapist may be challenged on every aspect of their existence. This makes the victim demanding, yet her demands are purpose driven: the victim is checking whether she will die during the encroaching integration process. The bonding process is exacerbated within the client if the therapist maintains an us- and-them mentality toward clients. All the above can be avoided if the therapist presents as an equal to the client and discards the elitist attitudes typically fostered in therapists at university. Therapy only works once a mutual relationship, akin to friendship, is formed between the victim and therapist. Effective Therapy Approaches The therapeutic goal is to cut new neural pathways that allow the brain's systems to work together. Effective therapy stimulates bilateral processing, releases the content of implicit memory, and lets the left brain transform right brain implicit emotional learnings and visual and somatic experiences into explicit verbal events. Effective therapy enables the victim to identify and verbalise their emotions and make logical sense of the trauma experience, so they can cognitively respond rather than emotionally react to triggers. Responding involves the victim consciously recognising they have been triggered and taking practical steps to stimulate their vagus nerve and calm their sympathetic//gf7f-///gf7f system. The therapeutic goal is to make all brain systems work together] The Integration Process 'Phase-orientated' therapy for DID follows these set treatment stages: 1. Establish safety, stabilisation and symptom reduction. 2. Contain and process trauma memories and feelings. 3. Integration and rehabilitation. Treating DID that stems from ritual abuse and mind control is not so simple for two reasons: (1) Our abuse is ongoing due to constant targeting; and (2) Our brain splits were intentionally, not organically, created. If you can follow this neat pattern - great. I could not. My treatment was a messy blur. I did identify a sequence to the memory retrieval process. I repeated three basic steps for each trauma incident: 1. Remember 2. Articulate 3. Abreact. If I processed a memory according to these steps, it never bothered further. Sometimes revisited the same event that I experienced in more than one state of consciousness, in more than one personality state, or from a different physical position. For example, I processed being near drowned in a ritual pool in a cavern system beneath ANSTO and Holsworthy. Years later, I had to process this same experience, only this time it was a International Society for the Study of Trauma and Dissociation (2011): Guidelines for Treating Dissociative Identity Disorder in Adults, Third Revision, Journal of Trauma & Dissociation, 12:2,115-187. memory of being suspended in the air above the pool. My brain had somehow stored the single event as two separate experiences. Trauma memory recall typically starts with the victim experiencing a nightmare, emotion, visual image, or body sensation flashback. The victim then attends therapy which focusses on that symptom. Effective therapy accesses the visual images of the trauma incident, body sensations, and emotions experienced during the childhood trauma. The victim must verbally describe the trauma incident. At some stage, she must feel the repressed emotion that occurred with the abuse; this may be delayed, hitting the person the following day. Ongoing therapy intervention and aftercare are essential to the integration process. Drawing the abuse incident provides further detail and clarity. Swimming aids hemispheric digestion and soothes the sympathetic nervous system. According to this sequence, I processed the first half of my memories using art therapy, and the second half using EMDR in conjunction with drawing. Internally, the process of art therapy and EMDR feel similar. Both bypass the unethical hypnosis, ECT, and drug effects to access implicit memory. Both allow victims to resurface and process trauma material at a manageable pace and intensity level. The brain only brings up what it can cope with at the time. The brain only raises what it can cope with at the time Art Therapy Art therapy is both a learned skill and an intuitive artform. Anybody can acquire basic skills, but it takes innate creative ability to read a drawing like a brain scan and direct the process. The victim does not need artistic ability to do art therapy. If they can draw stick figures, they can do art therapy. Besides, they soon free up and surprise themselves. The only material required are fat crayons in a range of colours and a pile of copying paper. It is important for the client to know that it does not matter whether what they draw is an actual event or a product of their imagination. All roads lead to Rome. The unconscious memory content will seep out in either symbolic or concrete form. Telling the client to 'just guess'what might have happened to them, accesses implicit memory and stimulates intuition. And I found that repeating an instruction at least three times helps to bypass unethical hypnosis. EMDR When I first heard about EMDR, I dismissed it as a hypnosis offshoot. Like hypnosis, EMDR is a form of bilateral stimulation. Unlike hypnosis, it is non-suggestive. There are two main ways of delivering EMDR: (1) Directed eye movements, or (2) Alternating bilateral hand taps. I experienced both. When dealing with the strongest memories in the lead up to integration, the therapist would wave a hand back and forth across my eyes. I would then sit back and wait for whatever came to mind. My next therapist had me place my hands face down on a pillow and alternatively tap the tops of them with their hands. During EMDR memory reprocessing, memories are retrieved from implicit memory, processed in working memory, and re-stored in long-term memory. The left brain reprocesses and reorganize the implicit trauma experiences; it sequences the event, applies context (time-date-place), and finds language to describe what happened. The pivotal trauma memories must be retrieved and fully processed, including re-experiencing, or abreacting, the emotions. EMDR cognitively processes traumatic events.The underlying neural mechanism of action of EMDR remains unknown. EMDR does not appear to produce the altered consciousness state associated with hypnosis.EMDR may act as hemispheric synchronization.^^® The psychologist in charge of the Monroe Institute advertises EMDR as a form of hemispheric synchronization. Neurobiological models suggest EMDR increases interhemispheric communication via the corpus callosum. The most recent hypothesis is that EMDR simultaneously increases connectivity between the two hemispheres, plus within the right hemisphere.Trauma memories are disseminated into the right hemisphere as meaningless, dissociated fragments, like pieces of a shattered mirror. The goal of EMDR is to reassemble those visual, auditory, and somatosensory fragments. Abreaction Freud coined the term abreaction to describe the release of the strong emotion associated with a repressed trauma memory. The emotion became stuck in time at the point of the original childhood trauma and is being properly processed for the first time, though abreaction. When a victim abreacts implicit trauma memories, the mind and body react as though the childhood event is presently happening. So, when I abreacted being flatlined at age 10 years, I was in danger of my heart stopping again in adulthood. EMDR pioneer Shapiro devoted a significant portion of her original clinical manual to defining and describing abreaction, and to providing guidelines for using EMDR to accommodate abreaction of repressed emotions.On page 96, the author specifically addressed the inherent risks associated with reprocessing near death experiences and torture by electrocution. Shapiro described how practitioners prepared for extreme cases by having resuscitation equipment and medical staff ready. Abreaction is essential. Presently, I see no other way of processing the emotional trauma associated with extreme abuse. Yet mainstream therapy is changing the definition and therapeutic role of abreaction. One of my therapists argues that abreaction is too traumatising and has no place in the EMDR reprocessing experience. They prefer to focus on how I feel now about my childhood trauma, as an adult reflecting on the abuse, instead of at M. Pagani et al. (2012). Neurobiological correlates of EMDR monitoring - an EEG study. PloS ONE 7:9. Nicosia, 1995 R. Landin-Romero et al (2018). How Does Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing Therapy Work? A Systematic Review on Suggested Mechanisms of Action. Frontiers in Psychoiogy, 9, 1395. M. Yaggie et al. (2016). Electroencephalography coherence, memory vividness, and emotional valence effects of bilateral eye movements during unpleasant memory recall and subsequent free association: implications for eye movement desensitization and reprocessing. J. Emdr Pract. 9, 79-97. B. Keller et al. (2016). The effects of bilateral eye movements on EEG coherence when recalling a pleasant memory. J. Emdr Pract. 8,113-128. Shapiro, F. (2001). Eye movement desensitization and reprocessing: Basic principles, protocols, and procedures (2nd ed). Guilford Press. the time of the childhood abuse. This is the denial approach pushed by Antony Kidman and the APS guidelines on repressed memories. Flash EMDR was devised to address concerns about clients like me whose trauma memories are extremely intense, and who dissociate during EMDR. Flash EMDR produces favourable results in relatively minor trauma cases that involve natural dissociation and adult trauma experiences. It does not effectively process developmental trauma stemming from forced dissociation. Do not compare ritual abuse, trauma-based mind control, and ongoing cult and government harassment, with anything less. The intensity of repressed emotion and subsequent abreaction is proportionate to the severity of the trauma to which it is attached and must be treated accordingly. \Abreaction intensity is proportionate to trauma severity The Vortex I clearly recall the moment the vortex to my past opened. It was during an initial EMDR session. I was suddenly struck with a memory and I nearly leapt from the chair. I describe the vortex as a deep, jagged wound, shaped like the opening an old-fashioned can opener cuts into a tin can. It remained open for 1.5 years and closed the day after Richie Benaud's death at Easter 2015. My brain informed me the moment it closed, by sending me a soft yet clear image of a thin veil of fresh flesh covering the wound. The opened vortex allowed unprecedented access to my memories and let me relive and feel the pain associated with my child abuse. During therapy, my memories usually emerged as faint visual images followed by a flood of thoughts and feelings that I experienced at the time of the abuse. I would describe what I saw, before being struck with the repressed emotion. I abreacted the emotion and felt the physical sensations as though the trauma incident were presently occurring. I relived torture, spinning, drugging, unethical hypnosis, and electrocution. I felt the pain as though the torture were happening today. I once heard a radio interview with a leading USA neurologist. He hypothesised that psychological pain registers in the brain as physical pain. The problem with nervous system pain is that others can't see it, and therefore they are likely to dismiss its severity. My pain was akin to having one's physical body smashed up in a car wreck and left to rot without anaesthetic for 1.5 years. When a memory began surfacing, unless it was immediately processed my symptoms would exacerbate and I became increasingly at risk. The moment I finished processing my memory via EMDR and abreacted the accompanying feelings, the symptoms dissipated, and that memory immediately ceased to bother me. The most critical times during the therapy process occurred when Gittinger's suicide programming was activated. Outside of the vortex being opened, and my being triggered, I was not a suicide risk. I did not even contemplate the notion of harming myself. However, mind control programming is layered with commands to involuntarily suicide. Memory recovery was a violent experience that commenced with vertigo and ended with mild brain damage; it included memory loss and extreme light sensitivity. I suffered vertigo, nausea, chest pain, and cardiac dysrhythmia. The most critical 18 months of memory processing included Mengele's Core split plus Gittinger's attachment violation. These months took such a toll on my body, on several occasions I required physical nursing, which was non-existent. Grounding Despite being EMDR trained, my therapist knew nothing about grounding. I innately grounded myself to the present, to stop me becoming stuck or lost in the trauma memory. Visiting the past feels like dropping through a chasm in the floor, while holding someone's hand makes me feel like I will not fall. One time when I needed to wake up out of dissociation, I told my therapist to take my hand and squeeze it very hard. Although co- conscious during therapy and aware that I am not actually back there. I'm still at risk. I once got stuck mid-abreaction such that I looked at my therapist in terror and exclaimed, 'Don't leave me here!' At other times, when I needed to retrieve a deeply buried memory, I ensured no-one touched me. Hypnosis I used hypnosis long after I integrated my Core, and once I felt sufficiently stabilised. Hypnosis returned me to the state of consciousness I was in at the time of the abuse, thereby granting me unprecedented access to my hypnosis-related memories. I found it beneficial for processing deep, residual memories. My therapist combined hypnosis with EMDR, which accessed the deepest buried memories. If you could undergo hypnosis with a clean expert like Corydon Hammond, I'd say 'go for it.' Find Hammond's astounding Greenbaum Speech on YouTube and consult his hypnosis handbook,to gain idea of the base hypnotherapy skill and understanding required to work with ritual abuse and mind control. Review Shapiro's comparison of EMDR versus hypnotically induced abreaction.'^®^ Read Secret Don't Tell: The Encyclopedia of Hypnotism (1998) by Carla Emery, for a comprehensive overview of the history of unethical hypnosis. If a therapist does not know or agree with this reading material, move on. Voice Dialogue is part of the Hearing Voices approach that I discovered via a retired therapist who had success treating adolescent youth labelled schizophrenic (i.e., 'traumatised'). She trained in trauma and Voice Dialogue and adapted this to working with the dissociated parts of mind control victims. I was thrilled to finally have an alternative therapy technique I could recommend to ritual abuse and mind control victims labelled psychotic, schizophrenic, bipolar, or personality disordered who were subsequently thrown in the 'too hard' basket. Psychiatry reduces everything to an illness originating in the victim, which is just another form of victim blaming. The Hearing Voices approach emerged from realising that peoples' environmental experiences are meaningful and determine the thoughts and behaviours that psychiatrists label symptomology. It explores the person's Hammond, D.C. (1990) Handbook of Hypnotic Suggestions and Metaphors. American Society of Clinical Hypnosis. Shapiro, F. (2001). Eye movement desensitization and reprocessing: Basic principies, protocois, and procedures (2nd ed.). Guilford Press. internal dialogue and how they make sense of the world, rather than what the DSM describes. The Voice Dialogue method recognises that the right hemisphere's unconscious processes are more dominant than the left's conscious, logical nature. It focuses on attachment style, which develops and continues to motivate behaviour at an implicit level. The method is influenced by Transactional Analysis and recognises that everyone has different components of self, such as internal child part and an external parent part, that interact to cause conflict. Treatment consists of identifying these parts and their roles, and changing the relationships between parts, to facilitate emotional awareness and collaboration between the fragmented selves. When a client hears voices, that is usually an indication that a part of self has become disowned by the system and is screaming to be heard. It is easy to see how the Hearing Voices approach is readily adapted to working with a dissociative victim of ritual abuse and mind control who has multiple personalities. The goal is to dialogue with the parts that hold trauma memories, dissociated feelings, emotions and sensations. The method allows the therapist to facilitate the processing of a trauma memory held by a part, without the Core person being exposed to the trauma memory. Voice Dialogue is about changing the relationship between the Core person and their dissociated parts. It also involves negotiating between the parts so that they do not assume dominance over the Core person, so that everyone is working together. It involves recognising that each part played a crucial role in helping the Core person survive extreme trauma. Another objective is to assign each part a new meaningful role, to replace the role imposed on them by perpetrators. I intuitively engaged in the process of role reassignment by taking up Judo, classical singing, and shooting. I engaged in Voice Dialogue and used it as a therapy gap filler. I found one-hour therapy sessions insufficient; they left me dissociative and distressed, and my trauma-focussed therapist never recognised or addressed my front altars. So, after my weekly therapy session, I typically phoned my retired therapist friend who worked with me for another few hours to finish what my therapist had only just started. She would ask to speak with the alter who is aware of the trauma experience causing the symptoms, and simply ask what that alter knew. In response, I would download copious amounts of information stored in implicit memory. All someone ever had to do was ask me the right questions. 'I' Before 'We' There is a place for alter recognition, but this must be limited and purposeful. Alters are real, mini personalities with their own neural circuitry, who experienced and hold the memories of trauma. At some stage, alters and their trauma need to be acknowledged, validated, and relieved. Therapists mainly need to know front alter names and roles. Each front alter represents a myriad of back alters, so if you win over the front alter, you cover the alters hidden behind them. My front alters were namely Soldier Alice, Intellectual Alice, Ritual Alice and Glinda. Sascha and Angel were also front alters, but more hidden. Soldier Alice protected my internal system and co-operated with Intellect Alice to manage interaction with the environment. Ritual Alice stored the implicit trauma experiences and pain in her memory circuitry and threw childish tantrums in response to trauma triggers. Glinda took a back seat after I left the cult and Kidman cursed my creative endeavours. Sascha endured the physical ardour. Angel guarded my Core. I did not allow my parts to identify themselves or speak until long after I integrated my Core, and I refused to ever refer to myself as 'we' - because overindulgence in alters is unhealthy and inhibits integration. All alter attention and communication should be for gaining system trust, releasing trauma memories, and encouraging cooperation and integration. Which is why I recommend victims strictly address themselves as 'I' instead of 'we.' Too many therapists seem titillated by the notion of multiple personalities; they waste precious therapy time and money familiarising themselves with, and indulging in, every alter they can possibly find. The worst example of alter overindulgence occurred at Colin Ross' conferences where organisers provided a preschool playroom, stuffed toys, and colouring-in activities to entertain child alters. One victim's system may contain thousands of splits, and it would take many lifetimes to get to know every alter. Instead of mapping an entire alter system, and trying to speak with every alter, effective therapy focusses on identifying and processing the trauma incidents which that created the alters in the first place. A single torture session is used to create multiple alters within the victim. Therefore, if a victim processes the memories of a single trauma incident, they will integrate up to hundreds of related alters in one go. Therapy must be Trauma-Focussed, not alter-focussed, to integrate a system. Effective therapy identifies the trauma that created the alters. Reaching the Core is Key The greatest integration shortcut of all occurs when the victim remembers the trauma incident that split their Core. As I said, instant integration occurs when a victim's Core personality meets her splits. Victims often tell me they have no Core, that their therapist can't locate their Core, and they ask me, 'What is my Core?' Your Core is the you that existed before perpetrators touched you and messed with your brain. For some, this began in utero and so the victim has no memory of their personality being intact. The Core is your soul, spirit, or consciousness - the part of you that leaves your physical body when you die or astral travel. Consciousness exists apart from the physical body, which is why mainstream scientists are currently working on ways of transferring the soul or consciousness to other physical vessels, such as cloned or synthetic forms. Thereby the wealthy elite responsible for MK-ULTRA plan to cheat death and avoid judgement. Bilateral Stimulation During the most intense phase of my memory recovery process I swam a kilometre per day, six days a week. I found swimming crucial to integration for several reasons. Freestyle lap swimming is a bilateral action which stimulates the brain hemispheres to work together. I felt swimming digested the cognitive load I experienced during a therapy session. Swimming soothed the extreme autonomic nervous system arousal that occurred during therapy, and seemingly countered the dangerous impact therapy had on my heart. Mid-lap one day, I was struck by an inaudible sentence, 'You heart is regenerating.' The laps usually felt effortless and I physically sensed the integration. An examination of left-brain Western plus bilateral Eastern conceptualisation helped me understand how and why swimming proved so essential to my integration and trauma recovery. The vagus nerve starts at the brain stem and connects to 'mini-brains' found in the body's major organs including the mesentery which wraps around the gut. The vagus nerve affects the heart, lungs, stomach, immune and endocrine systems. When stimulated, the vagus nerve activates the parasympathetic nervous system and calms the sympathetic system responsible for the 'fight-flight' response. The vagus nerve is stimulated by touch, movement or breath, such as deep diaphragmatic breathing, prayer, exercise, laughter, massage, and cold-water immersion. Swimming covers three of these. The Chinese have long recognised the importance of the mesentery. They say the human body runs on Chi, which we know as electromagnetic energy, and the mesentery is the battery. This battery must be charged for the body to maintain energy. Caffeine is an artificial way Westerners charge the mesentery battery, while Chinese recommend deep diaphragmatic breathing as an appropriate mesentery stimulant. I found classical singing relaxing and therapeutic because my singing teacher employed the intercostal diaphragmatic breathing technique. Typing was another bilateral activity that helped me to cognitively digest trauma between therapy sessions. I hand wrote letters to my first two therapists, and typed emails to my last. Being a bilateral activity, typing felt more integrating than handwriting. My emails began as a simple exchange of basic information about appointment times. As my situation became critical, I began using email as a journaling process. Even if my therapist did not immediately read my emails, knowing they were immediately received was key to pain relief. I tried journaling to myself, which proved an ineffective substitute. Herbal Medicines Herbal medicines did what no drug ever could - settled my nervous system pain within one hour. You need live herbal tinctures made by an experienced herbalist, as these are far more potent than dried herbs. The Australian drug authorities and medical doctors are eliminating herbalism in Australia. There are no more courses in pure herbalism, and Australia will not recognise overseas qualifications. I completed a short course in live herbal manufacturing which taught me more in one week than students learn in a four-year naturopathy degree. Throw out your TV EEG studies show that television converts the brain from Beta to Alpha plus near Delta wave activity associated with a mild trance-like state. TV reduces our ability to verbally communicate and to think critically. It suppresses our left brain and allows information to pass unedited into our right hemisphere. This is just more brainwashing and a reinforcement of MK-ULTRA programming. Therefore, it is important for the person trying to integrate from mind control to throw out their TV. No computer games either; read David Gillespie's book Teen Brain (2019) about the detrimental impact of screens on the developing brain to understand why. In fact, read all of Gillespie's amazing books. He was the first person to damn refined sugar and expose its connections to obesity, heart disease and mental health. It is helpful for victims to understand how fructose switched off the part of the brain that tells us we're full, and that alcohol, the worst thing for neurological damage, is sugar and so has a similar effect. * * * Destroying the Matrix Writing this book served as a double-edged sword. It continually triggered my memory for my abuse, which made me violently ill, but simultaneously allowed me to access and process and integrate more sections of compartmentalised neural circuitry. While I foresaw the assassination of asset Issac Kappy, I did not anticipate his murder occurring at the same time as the death of my pedophile perpetrator Bob Hawke. That was a triggering combination. I entered therapy the following week too depleted to relay the weeks' events. I positioned myself on the couch and asked my therapist to combine EMDR with hypnosis. 'Why am I doing that?' he asked. 'Because you devised the technique and I think it's a good one.' 'But why am I doing this today?' 'Because my right hemisphere always knows what it's doing, and it wants to do this.' 'So, you're going with your gut instinct?' 'No. The mesentery has its own mini brain, but it is the right hemisphere that processes implicitly and tells me what to do without adding the reason why. I just wrote a book chapter all about it.' 'How's the book going?' Nope. Was not going to discuss that either, as it was tied into a long week. 'No words. Just do the therapy.' He agreed, and soon I was dissociated enough to enter Mengele's induction routine. I self-induced as usual, spiralled down the water channel. I surfaced in the Dagon ritual pool. Only, this time was different. Usually there were no characters. This time there were guards at the doors which opened automatically to reveal Dagon seated on his gold throne. I bowed on one knee to the entity, placing my arms overhead in the shape of a bishop's hat. Suddenly, I barged through the left red ritual door and marched through the rows of caged blonde children, bellowing, 'Someday I am going to save ALL of you!' I opened the doorto Mengele's lab beneath the US Embassy in Canberra rushed toward the Jabba The Hut lookalike, shoved my fingers around his throat - and choked him. I exited via the blue door in the corner and began running toward the escape hatch when suddenly I detoured to a program. I took a back door to the blue, soldier programming area where countless programs were stacked to the ceiling, represented by a myriad of ancient and modern military costumes from various countries. I took a long sword and began smashing everything in sight. When that proved too time consuming, I smashed at the walls and toppled the entire room in one go. Then I realised I was Angel, wielding a samurai sword. Real pain struck my head. Not this time! I asserted, and visualised walking through my brain and slashing open blocked pathwayrs to allow electric current flow through. The pain instantly disappeaed. Next I was hit with genuine vertigo and nausea. Again, I pictured slashing open the closed neural circuitry. I saw the micro flesh, the multiple openings, and the flash of electric current as they opened. The vertigo disappeared immediately. Then I was assaulted with verbal thought loops. I tapped into where it was coming from - the left hemisphere - and slashed it too. I was replicating the visualisation technique that Mengele used to create the neural pathways and programs in the first place. Finally, I climbed up Mengele's blue soldier room and emerged through a vent onto the manicured lawn of the US Embassy. 'When you're ready,' my therapist droned. I described the carnage. 'It's like the final scene of The Matrix. I can destroy their programming because this is in my brain and I can do as I like. I am taking control.' * * * Dirty Doctors People are bastard-coated bastards with bastard filling. - Scrubs (Ep. 407) Fundamentally, your chosen therapist must not be a network operative. I have communicated with countless child abuse survivors including victims of ritual abuse and mind control. Their testimonies plus my own experience formed my conclusion that most therapists are either perpetrators or being handled by perpetrators. Dodging dirty doctors is a trial and error process. It is important for vulnerable victims to not trust therapists just because they are high profile, lecture at seminars on trauma and dissociation, and write books on DID and MK-ULTRA. These are all CIA operatives. Think about it: the clean ones, like Corydon Hammond who presented the famous Greenbaum Speech, invariably get death threats and are quickly and permanently forced out of the industry. I will now detail my personal experience of two Canadians therapists considered experts in ritual abuse, mind control and DID, to drive home my point: Trust no-one. Colin Ross George Bergen compiled a massive dossier of evidence against Colin Ross including copies of signed affidavits.While I do not agree victims should follow Bergen's concluding recommendation to consult CIA doctor Richard Ofshe, his evidence is relevant to my experience of Colin Ross. Here is a summary of the dossier content: From 1985 to 1991, Canadian psychiatrist Colin A. Ross worked at the St. Boniface General Hospital, University of Manitoba. He employed suggestive questioning, hypnosis, and age regression, and commonly prescribed overdoses of Halcion (triazolam) and sodium amytal injections. Ross also performed experimental drug testing on patients for large Drug Corporations. Roma Elizabeth Hart was a patient of Colin Ross from 1986 to 1991. In a 1998 signed affidavit. Hart testified that all of Ross' MPD patients at St Boniface Hospital became suicidal, and that Ross encouraged his drug-induced patients to commit suicide. Hart named the 1991 death of Wanda Davenport as one of five wrongful deaths Ross caused at the hospital. Colin Ross was dismissed from his position at St. Boniface General Hospital in 1991 for causing the wrongful deaths of five patients. This dismissal was covered up, permitting Ross to register in Texas. In July 1998, Texan authorities charged Colin A. Ross with fraud, gross negligence, fraudulent concealment, and conspiracy to commit fraud. Charges were also filed against Ross in the Manitoba Court of Queen's Bench in 1994 and 1997. Numerous complaints against Colin Ross were submitted to the College of Physicians and Surgeons of Manitoba, Texas State Board of Medical Examiners, Royal College of Physicians of Canada, and Canadian Psychiatric Association. I was aware of Colin Ross' background when I agreed to present at a 2016 Trauma and Dissociation conference at the Radisson hotel in Seattle, and I knew that Ross was George Bergen (1998). Evidence Against Dr Colin A. Ross, Vol.l. [archive.org] speaking at the conference. I did not know that Colin Ross sponsored the event. His ownership of the conference explained why it amounted to a marketing opportunity for therapists. Speakers who paid to attend and be heard were rewarded with stalls inside the hotel from which they peddled cards, stickers, $45 books and fridge magnets to vulnerable DID victims. It also explained why the Seattle conference also served as an advertisement for Colin Ross' Institute where clients entered non-suicidal and left in a box. It is normal for conference organisers to send speakers (especially international ones) a contract outlining what is required of the speaker and what is being provided to the speaker. This was promised but never delivered to me. Originally, I was told that my presentation was going to be professionally filmed. This never occurred either. I was also promised a plenary speaking session first thing Friday morning when the conference began. Plenary means speaking in the main, large room with no other competing sessions. Colin Ross' daughter Dana was given my spot instead. Victims and I had not heard of her. The conference organisers hid me away in a tiny room at the end of a hall. The conference schedule was formatted such that it prevented people from finding me. Some attendees could not find me at all because my biography and presentation synopsis were missing from their folders. All folders were individually named, so in theory organisers could control who did and did not know I was speaking. Even when my information was in the folder, it was well buried. Technical set-up of the conference rooms occurred on the Thursday. I was scheduled to speak early the following morning. By Thursday evening my room was not set up; it had no podium, no projector, no microphone, no computer, no cables, and no technical support. I could not deliver my presentation without basic equipment. I approached the conference organiser and asked why my room was not set up. She alleged she had specifically instructed the technician to do so, and to go phone him. Being Australian and having just arrived in the USA, I had no phone. I eventually found the technician who told me the conference organiser never instructed him to set up my room. Meanwhile, the other speakers, aware of my plight, openly boasted of how glad they were that their rooms were set up for the next morning. Most of them accompanied Colin Ross to a posh seafood dinner at Seattle's famous fisherman's wharf. I was not invited. Besides, I was too busy trying to remedy the deficiencies of the conference organiser. I approached the senior Radisson hotel staff member assigned to the conference and requested a spare podium. The man contemptuously told me Radisson did not have another podium, pointed to a 50cm high coffee table, and spat, 'Use that!' Thirty minutes remained before the Radisson locked their conference rooms for the evening. It was time to show the Yanks what Australians are famous for. I stole the essential equipment from another conference room belonging to the woman feeding her face with lobster after boasting the loudest about how pleased she was that her room was prepared. I demanded the conference organiser help me carry the equipment to my speaking room. Radisson staff locked the speaking rooms for the night. I retired to my room for a delivered burger and crap American TV. The following morning, I quietly smiled to myself as the hotel foyer echoed a woman's hysterical cries: 'WHERE'S MY PODIUM?!' Oddly enough, Radisson staff immediately found that speaker a spare podium. I delivered my talk to a keen audience which doubled in size once word got out about who and where I was. Following my two-hour presentation, a victim encountered her own therapist in the hall who exclaimed, 'I am so angry at Fiona's talk! I am so angry that no one has ever told me that information before!' Several victims voiced how angry they were for having made no progress following 20 years of therapy. My second conference session was an opportunity for the audience to ask me questions. I commenced this with a scathing attack on the conference. 'How are all those books and stickers helping you?' I challenged them. 'How far along the healing path are you? Some of you have been in therapy twenty years and got nowhere! Why?' After this, one therapist pulled me to the conference organiser in the foyer and practically shouted at her, 'Why wasn't Fiona in the main room?! She should have been a main speaker! She's amazing! What she said was amazing!' Multiple attendees asked me to write the content of my presentation down, asked for my book, asked me to write a book, asked me when my book was being released. I had no book, I told them, nor any intention of writing one. Another therapist approached me and said that her client, who was not suicidal, 'committed suicide' at Colin Ross' Institute. It should be impossible to commit suicide in such a facility. That is the point of a hospital for potentially suicidal DID clients. 'Do you trust Colin Ross?' I asked. 'I don't know...' she responded tearfully. Only two fellow speakers introduced themselves to me over the entire four days. Most speakers glared or stared oddly at me and the victims who flocked to speak with me. My attendance had been used to market the conference and draw victims from all over, including Las Vegas, who came specifically to see me. The true reason for inviting me to the USA came next: Alaska. Alison Miller A Tacoma Police social worker lured me to Alaska under the guise of assisting with a two-week intensive intervention with an alleged DID client. My assistant, Nicky, had been harping on about visiting Alaska, so the decision to go seemed an obvious way of pleasing her. So, I swapped my plans to visit my family in Canada, for Autumn in Alaska. Nicky and I travelled to Anchorage at our own expense. Canadian psychologist Alison Miller was the DID expert supervisor in this case. Nicky and I were placed on a roster of volunteers who 'baby-sat' the client at night. We were collected from the airport in Anchorage by social worker Kimber Olson who drove us to a remote cottage in Eagle River Valley. Nicky and I were not briefed or given a chance to speak alone with Kimber, prior to being left alone with the client named Sarah. In fact, we never got to speak with Kimber about the client. At the cottage, Kimber told Nicky and I (again, in front of the client) that Sarah was prone to self-harming by cutting. Kimber placed four rolls of cloth bandages on the table and told us what to do in the likely event Sarah cut herself. We were to bandage Sarah's wounds but not contact the hospital or the police because both departments contained members of the offending cult who ritually abused the client. The large collection of kitchen knives, and the hunting knife sitting in one of the cottage bedrooms also struck me as counterproductive. Kimber did not remove these in preparation for Sarah's stay, nor did she suggest they be removed. Nicky later removed and hid them of her own volition. Nicky and I had no transport. The cottage had no cell phone reception. It did have a landline and internet access. Kimber said she would phone us with the internet password. She instructed me to provide the internet password to Sarah who worked in IT at a local University. Her being allowed computer access seemed to contradict the expressed goal of isolating the client from her alleged cult perpetrators. Kimber also permitted the client to go out with a friend (her former therapist) one evening, which also seemed counterproductive to severing external contact. Why, then, are we in a cabin in the middle of nowhere? I wondered. Yep, that is the point where I should have returned to Anchorage for some halibut and home-brewed root beer. But then I would not have the following awesome story, or dirt on Alison Miller. The Eagle River cottage was situated in wild bear and moose territory where, I was later told, residents had been attacked while simply taking out their trash. Nicky and I were not warned of the potential risk associated with man-eating wildlife. I specifically asked whether it was safe for us to hike, whether there were bears, and whether I needed bear mace. I was told we were safe from bears and did not need mace. It was akin to my assuring visiting Alaskans it's safe to swim in the Aussie ocean at night. So, the following day, Nicky and I went hiking on a nearby trail. The next day, I hiked for four hours to the top of a nearby mountain... alone. I noticed fresh berry-flavoured bear scat all over. Wide-eyed locals later told me I certainly was at risk of being attacked by a bear - or even a moose, and that the safest thing to do was make a lot of noise as you hike, to scare off the bears. I inadvertently did this. Knowing I was trapped in a setup, I began dialoguing with God out aloud during my solo hike. I was on a remote mountain in the middle of Alaska with no-one to call me nuts. So, I went for it, voiced my anger aloud. 'Meet me at the top of that mountain!' I shouted at the sky. 'Come down and have it out with me, face to face!' Every time I reached what I thought was the peak, my shoulders slumped at realising it was another optical illusion behind which the genuine peak teasingly sat. I repeatedly fell for the same deception. I pressed on, pointing at what must be the actual peak, and yelling at God like a lunatic, 'Meet me at the top of that mountain!' Eventually, I reached the top. I was metres from the tip, and breathless, when something big, black and silent blocked out the blue sky. It buzzed directly over my head. Once it passed me, I heard the familiar hum of chopper blades. My gut dropped. Oh no! A black helicopter-the type you only read about on conspiracy websites. The mechanical beast stopped nearby, turned sideways to me, and just hovered there, looking at me. They got me! !'m dead! I surveyed the scene for fresh ideas, knowing I was trapped. There was nowhere to hide. A dozen excuses for my death flashed through my mind - Stupid Aussie tourist fell off remote mountain during loan hike... Suddenly, the took off toward Anchorage. I lifted my tablet and began filming its departure. Once it was out of sight, I looked around for somewhere to shelter. There was nothing except a small cleft in one side of the mountain top. I pressed myself against the cleft while I gathered myself. The sound of chopper blades returned. I stretched my head around the corner to see a green army helicopter with a long thin gun on its nose. The craft travelled up the valley a little further, before turning around and returning to base. That's more normal, I sighed with relief, but filmed it anyhow. Then I started my decent. It was getting late and the Alaskan freeze would soon set in. That evening, I watched in wonderment as my dissociated right brain had a little chat with the CIA asset we were babysitting. I smiled sweetly and warned Sarah: 'I'm confident my training more than equips me for whatever you think you have planned.' Nicky and had already endured two sleepless night when the asset descended the stairs at lam. She growled 'cunt' at me, turned off all the lights, and chanted: 'The shedding of blood for the atonement of sins.' Sarah entered the kitchen, pulled a large 40cm that she pre-planted in a drawer, and pointed this at Nicky who stood nearby. I approached, and Sarah began waved the knife back and forth between Nicky and me. Then I stepped between Nicky and the psycho. 'Drop the l<nife[' I demanded while mentally preparing to grab the nearby chair and smash it over her head. Sarah froze. The knife fell from her raised hand. I switched on the light. I spent the night chatting with Sarah in the loungeroom. I also emailed Kimber Olson and relayed what had just occurred. The following morning, I phoned Kimber Olson. During our conversation, Kimber told me she had expected something like the knife incident to occur. She said Alison Miller had advised her not to spend the night with the client, and in her next breath she asked me to babysit Sarah alone in the cabin for one more night. Kimber acted surprised when I declined. I asked Kimber for Alison Miller's phone number. I phoned Alison who played down the knife incident, concluding the client would likely have used the knife on herself instead of us. I disagreed, as did the Seattle homicide detective I described the experience to, who pointed out the obvious clue - the knife was aimed at Nicky and I, not Sarah. Alison Miller also expected Nicky and I to babysit Sarah another night. I emailed Kimber Olsen and told her Nicky and I were at risk and would leave with her as soon as possible. Kimber emailed me and said she would be collecting the client, and that Nicky and I may as well stay at the cottage another night. The set-up had become ridiculously obvious. Kimber repeatedly asked me whether I was going to inform the aggressive knife-wielding asset that we were leaving. I refused. Despite the critical incident, Kimber delayed collecting Nicky and until the following evening. This was disturbing because during the day, the client became increasingly agitated and aggressive toward us. Sarah berated me for speaking with Alison Miller about her. I responded, 'Pulling a knife on us was a game changer.' When Kimber Olson arrived, I asked to speak with her alone. She pulled a mocking face as though my request was strange, amusing even. During this conversation, Kimber said she had a bad gut feeling about staying overnight with the client. Kimber then informed us she would drop Nicky and I off at a hotel before taking the client back to her office for therapy. I did not want the client (or Kimber) knowing where we were staying, so I asked if we could instead use the internet at Kimber's office block to locate a hotel. But Kimber dumped me and Nicky in the carpark outside her office block and made it clear we were not welcome inside to use her internet. It was dusk, below freezing, and we had no means of finding a hotel in Anchorage's commercial district before sunset. We began walking. The following day, I presented to a group of therapists who were undergoing training in trauma and dissociation with Kimber Olson. The talk was well received. 'How long have you been speaking at conferences?' They asked me during question time. 'This is my first time.' 'Really? You wouldn't know it. Tell people three years!' they insisted. I laughed. Two of experienced psychiatric workers spent the next few days showing us some well appreciated Alaskan hospitality. They fed us home-caught halibut and chartered a private boat to tour the glaciers. I wondered to the health professionals whether things were 'done a little differently in Alaska.' 'No,' the horrified women informed me, Kimber had severely breached Alaska's ethical standards and protocols, and they continually asked me whether Kimber Olsen had contacted us yet. Nicky started showing signs of a trauma response, and the usual protocol was to debriefed victims of a critical incident. Yet Kimber never even asked us asked us what happened, and never contacted us again. So, upon returning to Seattle, I arranged for the Tacoma Police Social Worker to take us to debrief with Alison Miller in nearby Canada. Miller agreed to this arrangement but cancelled at the last minute for unconvincing reasons. Alison Miller never communicated with us again. * * * When I returned home to Australia, I ran my Alaskan adventure by retired Special Forces soldier Tim Roy. I did not say what I thought the black helicopter was. I simply relayed the details and then asked for Tim's opinion. 'Fiona,' Tim said, 'that black helicopter was exactly what you thought it was.' I knew the helicopter intended to pick me up on that mountain top. I knew the moment its back belly passed over me. I knew it from its peculiar movements, the way it seemed to baulk and reconsider. What stopped it from picking me up? I puzzled - until it dawned on me. When the helicopter's occupants looked down at me, they did not see a lone figure atop that mountain. They saw someone with me. God had met me at the top of the mountain after all. * * * 'Do you know Michael Salter,' the Alaskan therapists questioned me after my presentation. 'Never heard of him before the Seattle conference,' I responded. The Tacoma Police social worker had shown me some texts between her and Salter that I found irritating. Fellow Australian Michael Salter presented on DID in Seattle and Alaska in 2015 and said the opposite to what I did, that the Australian government has never been involved in organised child abuse, ritual abuse or mind control, and that his studies showed that this type of abuse was non-existent. 'I will deal with Michael Salter when I return to Australia.' Michael Salter describes himself as an 'expert' in 'complex trauma,' 'organised child abuse,' 'complex forms of victimisation including organised abuse and technologically- facilitated abuse.' Salter wrote articles with titles like, 'Why does it take victims of child sex abuse so long to speak up?' and co-authored an article on DID with Warrick Middleton (who said ritual abuse is a 'metaphor for incest'). Michael Salter sits on the ISSTD (International Society for the Study of Trauma and Dissociation) Board of Directors, and he is an Associate Editor of Child Abuse Review (journal of the British Association for the Study and Prevention of Child Abuse and Neglect). He previously sat on the Blue Knot Foundation Board of Directors (the organisation Tim Roy says sabotaged his case against VIP perpetrators by refusing to hand police copies of his evidence.) I phoned Michael Salter on 11 April 2018, and introduced myself, 'Hi Michael, this is Fiona Barnett. I'm writing a book and I called you to clarify something. I spoke on trauma and dissociation in America, and the therapists I spoke with in Seattle and Alaska said they heard you speak previously, and that you told them there was no government involvement in ritual abuse and mind control in Australia. Is that right?' Salter: 'I think they're referring to 2015 when I spoke on organised and ritual abuse. I talked about my research with forty or so survivors who, when describing electro-shock and other methods, did not do so in connection to the Australian military. It's a different situation to the US where there have been credible, consistent reports. Colin Ross has obtained evidence under FOI. We always have a challenge when allegations are not documented, when we go public with some things we think we know but can't prove. The trauma industry has suffered from people going public and making public claims about people and organisations which they couldn't prove. There is a need for evidence more than survivor testimony.' Me: 'You say there's no evidence of CIA mind control in Australia. What about MK- ULTRA Subproject 84 that was conducted at Sydney University in 1960 under the supervision of Martin Orne? Orne and Evans subsequently published an article about that research in a major journal. MK-ULTRA research was conducted at every major Australian university.' Salter: 'A few subproject names thrown about. That's just hear say. That proves nothing.' Me: 'In their published articles, these people acknowledge that their research was financed by the Human Ecology Fund - which was a CIA cut-out for funding MK-ULTRA research, as recorded in the US Library of Congress. That's called a paper trail! I'm in contact with James Rothstein who was appointed to the first taskforce in the US to investigate organised pedophilia. He discovered a VIP pedophile ring that went all the way to the Whitehouse. He said Watergate solely concerned trying to obtain VIP pedophile records being held at Democratic headquarters. He said they discovered an identical pedophile ring in Australia that involved Australian prime ministers, and he is placing me in touch with Australians who worked on this same ring. He said that every time he got somewhere, arrested or charged a VIP, it was shut down under national security. He said every cop who took this above street level was shut down. The same thing happens in Australia. That's exactly what happened to Reina Michaelson when she tried to expose this in Victoria.' Salter raised his voice, 'I had a lot to do with that case and that is not what happened.' Me: 'I know all about that case too. Reina told me that she was placed under something she called a D-notice, and when I saw her in Sydney, she said she was under surveillance by ASIO.' Salter: 'This is an area that puts people under a lot of pressure, causing them to become paranoid. Reina talked about electronic weapons and people following her...' Me: 'You mentioned Colin Ross. I spoke at his conference, only I didn't know it was his conference because that was hidden. When I was there, a therapist approached me and told me her client suspiciously died in Colin Ross' clinic. Then a retired detective told me he researched Colin Ross and found out he had a dubious background including being fired from a hospital for ethical breaches and having a disproportionate number of patients die in his care. Then victims complained to me that Ross mocked them during his conference presentation.' Salter: 'Colin Ross is a weird dude! He's just weird! A lot of paranoia often arises in this field. Everybody currently working in this field is accused of being a perpetrator. That's the first accusation made. I've even been accused. Avoid exaggeration. We must be careful what we take public, what we can't prove.' Me: 'What constitutes evidence?' Salter: 'What are we proving? We can use victim testimony to prove that people are using electrodes.' Me: 'So, you say you interviewed forty victims and concluded solely from their witness testimony that ritual abuse and mind control exist. Yet you dismiss the testimonies of victims who witnessed government organised child trafficking. What's the difference? How can you believe one witness testimony but not another?' Salter: 'It's a big jump from making general claims to saying agencies are involved. Stepping forward with the VIP story gets us nowhere without the evidence. One reason perpetrators get away with it is because the public don't know the basics. The basic process of education is needed because people are stuck in a conspiracy mindset. Ninety-nine percent of professionals are good people. Most of my students want to become police officers. Police need to be trained in how to interview DID victims.' Me: 'That's not the problem.' Salter: 'Yes, it is! Police need to recognise what to do when a victim starts switching mid-interview.' Me: 'I attended police interviews after I had integrated. The cop who took my statements was clean. But I was cold called by a lawyer who told me the cop above the one who took my statements, the one in charge of my investigation, was involved in the child trafficking network. Sure enough, she stopped my case. A lack of training may be a contributing factor, and it may be a tactic employed to prevent victims being helped, but the main problem is getting police to take our statements in the first place. Victims like me never get anywhere in the first place.' Salter: 'I interviewed fifty survivors of severe abuse including ritual abuse, and many of them made statements and some saw their perpetrators convicted.' Me: Oh, fifty now? you must be dealing with a different population. During the past few years. I've met hundreds of victims of government child trafficking, and not one of them had any success with the police or courts. What typically happens with us is, we make a complaint, the cops raid our home at five am and drag us off to prison for something that was dealt with twenty years ago.' Salter: 'Saying there is a criminal hierarchy, or that the CIA was here, and posting it all over websites and YouTube, is pointless. Proving anything from thirty years ago is almost impossible.' Me: 'That reminds me of the Royal Commission who told me to my face that they had no intention of helping current victims, that they exist to help future victims. My response to that is - current victims are the future.' Salter: 'There is no organised child trafficking network. It's like drugs, lots of people and small groups all over the place deal in drugs; it's the same with pedophiles. There is no organised criminal hierarchy trafficking children.' Me: 'There is a hierarchy - because I witnessed it. So, you're saying victims shouldn't bother reporting historical crimes?' Salter: 'I'm not advising anyone to do anything.' Me: 'I put in a historical complaint to the health board against Antony Kidman. He was dead within a month of my notification. His security team told the press that he was immediately placed on suicide watch following my complaint. See, I was not the first to complain about him.' Salter: 'That's great!' Me: 'The Daruk boys' home is currently under investigation because of my efforts. I pursued that matter, publicised it and harassed the police until they had to investigate.' Salter: 'That's great!' Me: 'My winning tactic was to come from a position of experience where I knew that I was dealing with a criminal hierarchy. And I achieved that outcome through what I published on my websites and YouTube. You say victims of organised pedophilia should not make police statements and should not publish our witness testimonies online. So, what you are effectively saying is - victims like me should not have a voice. I went and made police witness statements knowing they would go nowhere, because it was healing. Ask any genuine victim and they will tell you the most important thing to them is justice. All victims have a right to justice.' Salter: 'We have a different standard regarding the public domain and publishing what you are unable to prove. Like, saying that you have different brain structure, reduces your credibility.' Me: 'Sorry?' I asked incredulously, 'Are you talking about the scientific research published in peer edited journals, in which functional MRi scans show that both brain hemispheres light up when high IQ people perform cognitive tasks, as opposed to when someone with an average IQ performs the same tasks, only the left hemisphere is activated?' Salter snidely repeated, 'Saying that you have different brain structure reduces your credibility.' Me: 'Are you familiar with the work of Linda Silverman, with the research I studied in gifted education and psychology?' Salter: 'When you say something that contradicts history, you lose credibility. When you say Whitlam and Kerr, who were arch enemies, were in a homosexual relationship, you lose credibility.' Me: 'Firstly, a mainstream journalist wrote an article saying exactly that.' Salter: 'A doc/gyjournalist.' Me: 'Secondly, I witnessed them having sex at a pedophile orgy at Parliament House, along with many other men from opposing political parties. Their public fagades have nothing to with how these politicians act behind closed doors. And, who appointed John Kerr to the position of Governor General in the first place? Gough Whitlam did, against the better judgement of his party. So, Whitlam and Kerr certainly were not enemies at that time, were they. I spoke with a journalist who wrote favourable articles about me. He said he once spoke to a couple of spooks who told him that all senior politicians are pedophiles because that is how they are controlled, and he asked me if that was my experience. Do you know David Donovan who edits the Independent Australia journal that I wrote articles for?' Salter: 'I know of him.' Me: 'There's a reason he believed my story. Do you know the film Muriel's Wedding?' Salter: 'Yes.' Me: 'That film is mostly based on a true story that occurred in my local area. The character in the movie called Diedre Chambers is based on a real-life woman who ran a local post office with her husband; they had twin boys. David Donovan met one of the twins when he came to pest-control his house. When he realised David was a journalist, he said he had a story for him. When this twin was young, local mayor Tom Hogan (film-maker P.J. Hogan's father) took him to pedophile parties attended by politicians at Terranora Lakes Country Club, and on an helicopter with Prime Minister Bob Hawke and Opposition Leader Andrew Peacock who sat and got drunk together like they were old mates... Michael, I just think that when you tell people at conferences that you interviewed forty or fifty victims, and because they didn't say anything about government involvement, you conclude there's no evidence of government involvement -1 think you're better off saying nothing at all, otherwise you are only discrediting victims like me.' Pause. Salter: 'Sorry to cut this short, but I have to get some work done. And sorry things got a little heated at the end.' Me: 'That's okay. This has been a very productive conversation. You have just shown me the weaknesses in my story that I must address. You have shown me the exact direction in which I need to take my book. Thank you for that, Michael.' Salter: 'Oh, err...okay. Goodbye.' 'Bye.' I phoned the USA to bitch about Mr Salter with David Shurter who concluded, 'You've been triggered because he just spoke to you the way our perpetrators did.' Then I bitched to James Shanahan who told me Salter was a gay lawyer, and that he himself was one of the '40 to 50' victims Salter interviewed for his PhD. James concluded, 'He's used people like me to advance himself. The fact he's arguing with you and criticising you tells you what side he's on.' I spent my last embers of anger phoning Dr Reina Michaelson who asked me whether Salter had mentioned that he worked for a NSW Labour Party politician prior to entering the child abuse industry. No, Michael Salter had not told me he previously worked for the pedophile political party that I was sex trafficked to and by as a child, just before he sprung out of nowhere to steer the narrative and advise therapists concerning 'complex trauma and organised sexual abuse' with zero relevant mental health qualifications or clinical experience. * * * A Life Sentence / roll my eyes when some Uni communications student starts bleating a Noam Chomskyian critique of corporate media and why we shouldn't be trusted. - Ross Coulthart ABUSE SURVIVOR FIONA BARNETT: THE 'CANDY GIRL' Fiona Barnett, Independent Australia, 13 October 2015. In the first of a two-part update, pedophile ring survivor Fiona Barnett shares her experiences since testifying before the Royal Commission into Institutional Responses to Child Abuse, including involvement in a documentary, the discovery of key abusers and her ongoing fight to hove authorities investigate her allegations. I left my 2013 Royal Commission hearing with dashed hopes and a reignited need for trauma counselling. So, I applied for counselling through NSW Victim Services, who allocated a psychologist at Living Well Psychology and Counselling. Following my initial consultation and the disclosure of my Royal Commission statement, the psychologist wrote in a report to Victim Services that police investigated me for murdering the relative who abused me as a child — my step-grandfather and Nazi war criminal Peter Holowczak. (This pedophile actually committed suicide in Sydney whilst I was residing in Brisbane.) The psychologist's bizarre allegation contradicted everything I said during our initial meeting, plus the content of the Royal Commission statement I had shared. My subsequent complaint resulted in the psychologist appearing before a professional conduct panel. NSW Victim Services subsequently approved a replacement psychologist. Soon after commencing therapy with me, my new therapist was allegedly stalked by thugs who followed her home one night from her clinic to her remote property and circled her car. Saunders consequently provided a formal witness statement about the incident to Detective Terry Frost of the Tweed Heads police. The same men simultaneously stalked my two friends who also reported their experiences to police. The thugs then tailgated me to my daughter's primary school, but I cut their car off and photographed its number plate. I was again stalked and tailgated on the day of perpetrator Antony Kidman's funeral (see pictures above right). Journalist Jonica Bray, accompanied by a photographer and makeup artists, visited my home to interview me for a potential Woman's Day magazine story. This team and my family witnessed, photographed and spoke with the two men who allegedly admitted they had been hired to 'keep an eye on' me. Since my 2013 hearing, I have fought to make formal witness statements to police. In May 2014, my husband accompanied me to Tweed Heads police station where I spent two days detailing multiple crimes of child sex trafficking, abduction, rape and murder. Detective Terry Frost omitted many crimes involving perpetrators known to have since died. He concluded that while he found my allegations 'left field,' there were numerous unsolved historical murders in the locations I identified. He said he would immediately send my statements to Sutherland Shire police. Prior to making these statements, I had spent a year reliving my childhood abuse with my psychologist. The incidents of crime were so numerous and the therapy process so gruelling, my physical health was severely impacted. To illustrate, the therapy triggered vertigo and heart problems. On one occasion, these symptoms struck me in the surf and I nearly drowned. Consequently, my therapist was reluctant to work with my memories. This slowed the process down, so that by the time the precious opportunity to make witness statements with Detective Terry Frost arose, I had not finished processing everything. So I avoided addressing many crimes during my initial statement making, aware of my legal right to include them later under my allocated event number: 54671514. My subsequent attempts to report the remaining crimes were thwarted. My emails and phone calls to police were stonewalled for a year. Further, in contravention of my legal rights as a victim of crime, NSW police did not inform me of the progress of the statements I had made. On 6 March 2015,1 wrote to the NSW Police Commissioner and requested a chance to complete my witness statements. The Sex Crimes Squad replied on the Commissioner's behalf, informing me that my initial statements were now with Sutherland Shire detectives. Also in March 2015,1 contacted the Federal Police regarding the crimes I experienced in Canberra — including being prostituted under the name 'Candy Girl' to Parliament House and to an international political leader in the back of a military airplane at Fairbairn Airport. My communication was ignored until I appealed to the Federal Police Commissioner. An Operation Attest officer named Louise Hawke contacted me and requested I email her details of my abuse. I did this and attached numerous crime scene illustrations. The officer subsequently phoned me and said that, while she believed my account, the historical nature of my complaints made them too difficult to prosecute. Officer Hawke assured me my information had been placed on file for future reference and referred me to ACT Victim Services, who said I qualified for counselling services but not compensation, because the ACT crimes committed against me had occurred prior to their 1985 cut-off date. Last July, Australia's 60 Minutes aired a story about a Westminster pedophile ring titled. Spies, Lords and Predators. I was abused by an Australian equivalent of that UK ring, yet there are notable differences. I was trafficked to international VIPs both within Australia and overseas. This ring involved elements of the Australian military. My perpetrators operated in close collaboration with the USA government and they employed sophisticated methods for keeping their operation hidden. Following the airing of their UK story, 60 Minutes were inundated with phone calls from Australian pedophile ring victims. A leading child abuse advocacy centre nominated me to 60 Minutes who are now working on an Australian version of their UK ring story. 60 Minutes told me they had narrowed their list of Australian victims to 30 possible interviewees. So, somewhere out there sit 29 alleged fellow victims of the same Australian VIP pedophile ring that abused me. I urge those potential interviewees to contact me via lA. It would be nice to have my memories validated by another human, instead of being constantly bashed by ignorance and denial. As requested, I sent 60 Minutes reporter Ross Coulthart the information I had so far supplied state and federal police. Whilst interviewing my friends and associates, Coulthart questioned the validity of my testimony. He described my memory of being assaulted by a USA politician in the back of a USA military plane at an Australian military airport as far¬ fetched. Just what do people think international child trafficking looks like? If it is documented that the USA military and CIA have been involved in drugs and arms trafficking, would child trafficking be a physical or moral impossibility for these same people? Ross Coulthart also questioned my memory that a Governor-General raped me during a pedophile orgy at Parliament House, based on something that all journalists apparently knew — that this married man was a closet homosexual. Such a conclusion ignores the nature of perpetrators' perverted fetishes and the various reasons why VIPs assault children. Within the context of the crime ring I witnessed, homosexuality, heterosexuality, paedophilia, bestiality and necrophilia were not mutually exclusive. Perpetrators did not always engage in these activities out of personal desire or preference, but rather as a means of exerting power and humiliating their victims. This year, an independent documentary team began researching my child abuse experiences. These producers quickly found ample evidence to support my allegations. They discovered the identity of the man my siblings and I were instructed to call 'Dr Mark.' Leonas Petrauskas was the adopted son of a Lithuanian opera star, and he played basketball for Lithuania. (My Nazi war criminal grandmother was Lithuanian and friends with Petrauskas.) Petrauskas owned and worked at the Engadine Medical Centre on the corner of Boronia Ave and Old Princess Highway. The documentary team obtained copies of Petrauskas' family photo albums, passports and Nazi papers. These documents show he was the Nazi doctor who matched the description of him I have been supplying to institutions for 25 years. Dr Petrasukas' crimes were so numerous, evidence of them erupted wherever we looked — and even where we didn't. During the documentary excursion, I approached a couple in the Engadine McDonalds' car park and asked them for directions. Within minutes, the woman told me she was another victim of Dr Petrauskas, who referred her for deep sleep treatment with Harry Bailey at the notorious Chelmsford private hospital, which has reported links to Dr Ewan Cameron's unethical electro shock experiments in Canada. Dr Petrauskas attended Sydney University at the same time as another key perpetrator. Dr Antony Kidman. The documentary team located Antony Kidman's former North Sydney home at 16 William Edward St, Longueville. This matched the description I provided the NSW Psychology Board in my complaint against him. Via realestate.com, I recognised the lounge room and pool in which I was sexually assaulted by Kidman and his famous stage actor friend who is still alive. The assault occurred during a post-production party held at Kidman's house. My researchers located and interviewed another perpetrator — a woman who assisted Dr Petrauskas while he performed an abortion on me. I witnessed this same woman lure, drug and murder a young male surfer at a remote Kurnell beach. If that is the type of information amateurs found in their spare time using a $60 internet connection, imagine what the NSW Police could achieve. My documentary producer contacted the NSW Police media liaison officer and asked why police refused to take my remaining witness statements. The Detective who took my initial statements immediately contacted me and said he would not take my remaining statements until he had heard what Sutherland Police were doing regarding my initial statements. I argued that I had far more information to add to the content of my original statements. The detective finally directed me to travel to Sydney to complete my witness statements there. Consequently, I approached a Sydney officer I trust and offered to attend Police Headquarters at my own expense. I am currently liaising with a Sutherland detective and have made tentative arrangements to meet her at Police Headquarters next month to finish my witness statements. I hope this occurs and that I can achieve some kind of closure to my child abuse history. Upon finding the identity of Leonas Petrauskas, as well as another offending medical doctor who is still alive, I contacted the NSW Coroner and suggested he investigate every birth and death certificate these doctors ever signed. I said I had witnessed Dr Petrauskas fabricate medical documentation to cover for crimes including murders. The NSW Coroner said he could not conduct such an investigation without the direction of the NSW Police. So I forwarded the NSW Coroner's response to the NSW Police Commissioner, asking him to direct the coroner to investigate my allegations. The Commissioner thanked me in writing for supplying the information and assured me it had been forwarded to the appropriate designation. 'What, the paper shredder?!' quipped my current Victim Services counsellor. The corroborative evidence that my documentary makers continue to find in support of my allegations has been offered to the authorities. If the authorities are not interested in this evidence, perhaps the public is. My documentary. Candy Girl, is at the editing stage. * * * FIONA BARNETT: THE CANDY GIRL, THE ROYAL COMMISSION & THE NSW POLICE Fiona Barnett, Independent Australia, 23 October 2015. In the second part of her update, Fiona Barnett details the shocking mistreatment she has endured from certain NSW Police - and others-since testifying to the Child Abuse Royal Commission about her experiences as a victim of an international child sex trafficking ring. The Child Abuse Royal Commission has invested government dollars in an initiative called 'Message to Australia': ...an opportunity for the people who hove bravely told their stories to the Royal Commission to send a short message to the Australian community about their experience and their hopes for creating a safer environment for children in the future. Select victim messages will be published and stored in the public library — under 'BS.' If my message were selected for inclusion, it would read: Don't come forward as I have done! Don't place your trust in investigative bodies, police and therapists. It's not worth the risk to you and your family. If you insist on attending professional counselling, do so under a pseudonym and pay cash. Here's why: At my 2013 hearing, I made some reasonable requests: witness protection, a chance to provide my testimony to police and for police to investigate my allegations. Two years on, I am still waiting for these requests to be fulfilled. I have not heard from my Royal Commission case manager since March 2014 when I provided her with additional information. Instead, I have experienced an increase in police indifference and harassment. Certain NSW Police dismissed my witness testimony against a VIP pedophile ring as unworthy of collection and investigation. However, they simultaneously used the witness statements I provided them as grounds for suspending my pistol licence. On 24 December 2014, its Firearms Registry gave me two days to surrender my licence or face possible criminal charges. Their deadline counted Christmas and Boxing Day as working days. It appears that Tweed Heads Police sent my witness statements to the state Firearms Registry (located in nearby Murwillumbah) instead of to Sutherland Shire detectives. When I confronted the detective with whom I made my statements about this action, he exclaimed: 'I didn't do that!' I told Detective Terry Frost I knew he was innocent. During a recent conversation with the Sutherland detective inspector in charge of my case, I was informed that she only recently requested my statements from Tweed Heads Police and that she has not yet read them. I heard from the Firearms Registry months before NSW Police told me whether my witness statements were in the hands of Sydney detectives, or if my allegations were being investigated. Bettina Walker, manager of the NSW Police Firearms Registry, informed me that she had served 20 years as a police officer and: 'I know from experience the content of your statements is true.' She said that I must undergo a psychiatric evaluation, based on my statement content, to determine whether I was a risk to myself or the public because of the crimes perpetrated against me in my childhood. This response from the NSW Police reminded me of AHPRA's similar treatment of my child abuse history. Members of the Murwillumbah Pistol Club said they had not previously seen police target someone's registration as they had mine. They concluded it was retaliation for my whistleblowing against an international child trafficking ring. Certain NSW Police further contributed to my harassment, by ignoring my requests for their assistance. During Halloween 2014,1 arrived home to find my child's dog baited and lying in a pool of blood. Days following the baiting, my next-door neighbour approached my property in a rage and started smashing at our locked front gate. He screamed at me: 'I should have killed that dog! I'm gonna kill that dog!' He motioned to jump our fence. A friend and ex-police officer was visiting my home at the time. She instinctively intervened and managed the neighbour's violence. It took her five minutes to make him leave my property. She called the police who attended and provided an event number: 56705529. The police promised to at least caution the neighbour - but did not. I am convinced the neighbour would have assaulted me, because he previously assaulted my brother without provocation. Shortly after moving from Wollongong (a major centre of my childhood abuse), the neighbour approached my brother, who was entering his car to attend work. The neighbour ambushed him from behind, grabbed him by the throat, and pinned him to his car. The neighbour, who my brother had not previously met, grinned and dared my brother: 'Go on! Hit me!' By Easter 2015, harassment of my family reached unprecedented intensity. Our problem neighbour targeted us via his umpteenth vexatious complaint to local authorities — this time regarding a fence we legally erected years ago. Then another one of my high- profile perpetrators died, triggering another adverse reaction. Soon after, I suffered a mild head injury in a bizarre car accident. Not long later, our family therapist caved under the unique pressures of working with an incomparable case of 'complex trauma.' Losing our family therapist at such a critical moment, the timing appeared orchestrated. Just after our therapist emailed her sudden decision, our problem neighbour intentionally coated our property in asthma-inducing fibreglass debris for the third time this year. Immediately after that, local police targeted our young daughter. Police attended our family home after 8pm on a Friday. They claimed a pink iPhone 4 had been reported missing three hours earlier and that the Find my iPhone app had determined it was located inside our home. The senior investigating officer dogmatically asserted that the phone app constituted infallible technology and was accurate to within two metres. She immediately concluded our 10-year-old daughter had stolen the phone, dismissing any testimony, evidence or suggestion our daughter might be innocent. The officer was defensive, aggressive, sarcastic and evasive. She could not provide us with an event number. She threatened to visit our home and interview our daughter to "jog her memory" concerning the phone's whereabouts. She communicated to us that her questioning would frighten our child into confessing she stole the phone. I told this officer she did not have permission to interview my child and that she would have to obtain a warrant. I went without sleep for two days while I placed my daughter in hiding and lodged a number of complaints to relevant authorities, including to the NSW Police Commissioner. This was not the first time I had been forced to hide my children. The offending officer effectively accused my child of committing a crime while in the care of her school. Consequently, the school became heavily involved. The school's principal phoned police and told them it was impossible for our child to have come into contact with the missing phone. The senior investigating officer hung up on the principal who subsequently labelled her,'... a disgrace to the police force.' My complaints resulted in a formal investigation - which is ongoing - an apology of sorts and a police show bag being presented to my bewildered 10-year-old. Every investigating officer who attended our home said they had not witnessed the screen shot evidence. I have yet to be shown the alleged screen shot. I do not believe the evidence exists. When I challenged the offending officer, by asking whether it was possible for someone to fabricate the screenshot, she agreed it 'could be a possibility' but that in 20 years of policing she could not see why that would occur. After ten years of intense harassment from a variety of course, including the polices, I fully appreciate why someone would seek to fabricate evidence against my family. Such as when police ambushed three family homes and held guns to my husband, I believe the iPhone incident was fabricated as a means of re-traumatising my family and silencing my witness testimony. Police demonstrated far more enthusiasm for investigating a missing pink iPhone 4, than the countless incidents of child abduction, rape and murder I witnessed as a child victim of an international sex trafficking ring. In September 2015, despite having been warned three times by the Tweed Shire Council not to, the offending neighbour again deliberately coated my home in fibre glass debris. A lawyer subsequently advised me to attend the local Court and apply for an AVO. I followed this instruction. Tweed Heads Court staff asked me whether my children would be included on the AVO, to which I replied: 'Absolutely.' The Court then told me that only the police could take out the AVO. I said the police refused to do this. The Court instructed me to immediately march next door and ask the Tweed Heads police to take out the AVO on behalf of my family. I followed this instruction also. A senior Tweed Heads police officer told me there were insufficient recent incidents for police to take out an AVO, that what the neighbour did in October 2014 constituted sufficient grounds, that he could not understand why officers did not do so in 2014, and that I would have to wait for the neighbour to build up a 'dossier' of offences and commit a serious act of violence against me or my family before police would act in our defence. The officer provided me with yet another Event Number to add to my dossier: 61680488. He suggested that the neighbour continued to commit crimes against my family because I was 'reactive.' His theory for criminal motivation is inconsistent with the neighbour's surprise physical attack on my brother who had never previously met the offender and so no reaction could have preceded that assault. In short, the NSW Police have instructed me to wait for a violent man to successfully seriously injure me or my children in another surprise, unprovoked assault. Forget Al Qaeda. Our family lives with the tangible threat of being intermittently terrorised by certain police and random citizens. People, including police and therapists, have offered glib remedies to our predicament: Just move house. Just act normal and polite when police turn up. Just ignore the neighbour. If you know you're going to be attacked, just go on holiday. We've tried all of that — and it doesn't work. Such advice demonstrates ignorance of how elite crime rings operate. There is no avoiding an infinitely resourced network that has infiltrated every level of the Australian political and judicial system, as well as all the major establishment institutions. There is no reasoning with its members, whose confidence and arrogance stem from knowing they are protected. The Australian public often say of child abuse victims: Why didn't they speak up? Why didn't they go to the police? If pedophile rings are as widespread as victims claim, why can't the public see any evidence of it? Perhaps, after reading this article, people will better understand why. I have endured decades of the types of incidents I describe here, including pet killings, attacks on my family and bizarre mistreatment from health professionals. I have experienced random, unprovoked attacks from complete strangers, an undesirable element within the police force and violent neighbours who suddenly migrate from significant childhood abuse locations. To the uninformed, these events appear to be mere coincidences or the result of something I must have done wrong. But to those with knowledge and experience, this is a recognisable pattern — the modus operand! of a powerful, well-funded child trafficking ring with a vested interest in silencing witnesses like me. Therefore, when you see victims publicly testifying before the Royal Commission, or you encounter a masturbative collection of warm fuzzies boasting the title 'Messages to Australia,' spare a thought for the voiceless mass of victims like me, whose testimonies were indeed reported but will never be publicly disclosed or addressed — thereby preserving the myth of the existence of such abuse. * * * On Monday 2 November 2015,1 took a 6am flight from Gold Coast airport to Sydney. I was scheduled to complete two days of police witness statements with two Sutherland detectives at Surrey Hills police station, beginning that day. During the flight, I sat in front of ABC 4 Comers television presenter Kerry O'Brien who served as PM Gough Whitlam's press secretary. The day before this flight, Kerry O'Brien launched his biography about his good friend of 40 years, Paul Keating. My press conference, which focussed on Paul Keating and Gough Whitlam being pedophiles, was held the Thursday before Kerry O'Brien's weekend book launch. So, my press conference cast a shadow over the book launch of the journalist seated behind me for the next hour. (And people say there is no God.) SNAP were currently negotiating with ABC 4 Corners who expressed interest in interviewing me on television. They subsequently expressed greater interest in interviewing another victim of Bob Hawke who had come forward, the daughter of Bob Hawke's architect Kevin Borland (who had family photos featuring Bob plus two sisters who were willing to testify that she immediately disclosed Bob Hawke's assault to them). I turned to the guest seated behind me and smiled, 'Hi, Kerry. I'm due to appear on your show.' 'Oh, really? Which story is that?' 'The VIP pedo ring. I'm the one who delivered the press conference last Thursday.' Kerry O'Brien gasped in horror and dropped his gaze into the magazine on his lap. 'I'm on my way to Sydney to make two days of police witness statements.' He stared in horror at his reading material, nodding out of synch with my words. 'Don't worry,' I assured him, 'The police will probably want to gag me from further media exposure anyhow.' Kerry O'Brien announced his retirement from ABC Four Corners four days later. After landing in Sydney, I spent the day providing witness statements in the company of Australia's SNAP representative, Nicky Davis, plus Sydney's top court support worker. The first day ended on the most traumatic part of the two days. For the first time in my life I described the crime scene where former Prime Minister Paul Keating raped and murdered a young blonde boy on a remote Kurnell beach, and doctor Leonas Petrauskas made me dig up the body. I began to sob. It took a moment for the three women to notice. 'Fiona are you okay?' they chimed. No, I was not okay. I was contemplating the incident in depth for the first time in my life, simply because no one had ever asked me to detail it before. No therapist. No cop. No- one. No-one had ever cared enough to simply ask me what I saw. Soon after, I floated out of the police station in a cloud of dissociation and headed toward Central train station. Nicky's voice was a distant echo as she insisted on accompanying me to Marrickville, an inner Sydney suburb where I was to meet Dr Reina Michaelson. I had booked accommodation at the Travelodge Hotel opposite Hyde Park in the city, but I sensed danger and cancelled at the last minute. I asked Reina to find me alternative accommodation and tell no one, including me. That way, I figured, if I did not know where I was staying, neither did anyone else. But ASIO already knew. The government obviously didn't want Reina and I speaking privately and comparing information, because ASIO began stalking Reina again from the moment we spoke. Reina even confronted an agent staking out her house in a white van. Reina had planned for us to meet at a cafe just outside Marrickville train station. So, I was surprised when she met me on the platform. We hugged. Then Reina's face went from smile to serious. 'Fiona, they're here for you.' My gut dropped. 'Who's here?' knowing full well who she meant. 'There are two men stalking me. They're waiting for you outside the station.' Nicky, Reina and I remained on the platform as we discussed our options. My training had already kicked in. Just then, a man brushed past us, growling menacingly. 'That's one of them!' Reina exclaimed. I sized him up from behind. Military haircut, clean pressed blue work shorts, clean work boots, high viz yellow bib, off-grid communication device in his right hand. They were ASIO-T4 protective security thugs - and he was the ringleader. Must protect Nicky and Reina, I thought. I noticed the smart phone in my hand and announced: 'I'm getting a photo.' I ran after the stalker and took several photos of him from behind. Then I got as close as possible to his back, positioned my phone, and yelled: 'Hey!' He turned around and I snapped a full-frontal shot. His face was clean shaven, his work clothes clean and crisp. It was 5pm and this guy had certainly not been at work all day. I spun around with the agility of an acrobat and took off toward Nicky and Reina. 'He's coming!' the girls exclaimed. We quickly exited the train station, but the stranger caught up with us just outside. His hands were tightly clenched, and his veins popped out of his outstretched neck as he struggled to contain his rage. I braced myself for a physical assault. I guarded my cell phone so he couldn't snatch it from me. His demeanour was reminiscent of the Holsworthy military thugs from my youth. 'Why did you take my photo!' he yelled at me. 'I was just returning home from work!' I took a step forward and thrust my finger at his ugly face: 'You have been stalking her! (I pointed at Reina) and now you're stalking me! I'm calling the police!' He flinched. 'No, I'M calling the police!' We exited the platform with Nicky at rear. The thug walked a foot behind Nicky as he called police and alleged three women were harassing him. Nicky swung around and yelled for the person on the other end of the line to hear, 'If we are harassing you - then stop following usl' Reina led us to a cafe around the corner from Marrickville train station. We sat at a table. 'There will be a fourth one standing across the road there,' I pointed across the road, 'observing the operation from a distance.' 'Yes, there was!' Reina and Nicky chimed. 'We saw him.' A police car pulled up at the train station entrance which was out of our view. A young female officer began speaking with two of the ASIO agents. Nicky and Reina expressed their concern that the stalkers were trying for 'false arrest' against me. I noticed additional police cars circling us like sharks. 'Those guys only need one police mate,' I warned, 'and I'm stuffed.' I had asked the Sutherland detectives for their cell phone numbers in case something like this occurred, but they declined. I phoned Sutherland police station and asked for the detective who took my statement. The desk officer had no idea of my case and I had no time to explain it to him. 'Ma'am, stay there and we'll send an officer to you!' No, I thought, there are plenty police officers here already. Reina and peeked around the corner again, to gauge what was happening. 'I'm out of here,' I told Nicky. 'No! You can't go!' 'I know what I'm doing. I must go now.' 'No, no! You can't go!' 'You're not listening. It's time for me to go.' 'Okay,' she resigned. 'Meet us at the Travel Lodge hotel.' 'Okay,' I lied. In Nicky's words, she turned her head for a moment, looked back - I had disappeared into thin air. I fled down a small backstreet at a brusque pace, but not so fast as to arouse suspicion. I turned right into the first tiny lane, to lose sight of the cop cars circling the main street. It was a dead end. At the far end of this lane, I pressed my body hard up against a slither of protruding brick wall and swapped my pink shirt for beige. I caught my breath and thanked God I had been swimming daily for the past two years. I spied two shopkeepers chatting from their back porches. They were obviously wondering what I was doing. I offered, 'Have you watched the news lately where they mentioned three prime ministers were pedophiles?' 'I heard about that,' responded one woman. 'Well, that's me. I'm the witness. I'm in Sydney making police statements and now I'm being chased by bad men.' 'You got to police!' her Asian friend demanded. How could I explain? 'Err, not really. That's not the best thing right now. Some police are helping the pedophiles.' Enough time had passed for me to move. I surveyed my options: scale a 10-foot brick wall at the dead end of the road or return the way I came. I'm too old for this Jason Bourne shit! I moaned, i'm 46, not 26. The women read my mind. 'You can go through that gate,' one pointed to a spot behind me, 'through their back yard, up their front veranda and out their front gate.' 'Thanks,' I waved and ran off. I traversed the suburban streets until I found a safe place to hide, from where I could monitor the passing traffic. My phone rang. It was my detective. I explained I was in a state of shock, trauma and dissociation, and I had to flee because I didn't know whether the cops who turned up at the train station were good or bad. I asked her what my legal rights were concerning photographing a stranger on a station platform. She said she did not know but advised me to send the photos to multiple locations and delete them from my phone. 'I've already done that,' I said. The detective tried to convince me to contact Nicky and Reina and reunite with them, otherwise there would be police looking for me out of concern for my safety. 'Look,' I explained, 'unless you can convince me I'm not going to have some bullshit charge slapped against me by these pedo stalkers - I'm on the first flight out of here!' 'No, don't do that. We want you back tomorrow to finish the statements.' 'From my perspective, I know it only takes one bad cop to cooperate with those stalkers. I need you to phone Marrickville police and sort this out. Then phone me back.' I called my friend who lived in a nearby suburb. 'What's happening?' she asked. 'I'm in trouble. They're after me. I'm hiding in the Marrickville backstreets.' 'I'm at work. I'm forty-five minutes away. Can you get to my place?' I hung up my mobile which immediately rang. It was my detective. She assured me I was not in trouble and that everything had been sorted with Marrickville police. She had contacted the female officer who responded to the stalkers' call. 'The men said they were perplexed that you took a photo, and that they were just innocently returning home from work.' 'No. That's not what they were doing. That's not what two credible witnesses saw.' 'The officer did suspect there was another side to the story. I've asked for her to send me her report.' I emerged from my hiding place and walked down the street. I spied a man closing his business for the day and approached him, 'Can you please call me a taxi from your phone? I don't want to do it from mine.' I explained my situation and that I was on the run from some unsavoury men. He explained that there was a taxi depot nearby. 'Can you please walk me to it?' He agreed. 'If you carry my bag for me,' I held it out for him, 'we will look like a couple.' The stranger nodded and slung my black duffle bag over his shoulder. We walked several blocks to a taxi repair depot where my new friend instructed them to get me a taxi. Within 30 minutes, I was safe in the home of a prominent Sydney barrister. That evening, I watched as ABC Media Watch presenter Paul Barry personally attacked me for daring to speak at a press conference about my child abuse, instead of critiquing the media's coverage of my press conference as he was supposed to. Reina Michaelson later phoned me and commented, 'You were amazing. Everything you did was perfect.' 'When will this end,' I sighed. 'Fiona, I think this is a life sentence.' * * * The NSW Police promised to visit my home and take an estimated five more days of witness statements. This never occurred. The NSW Police never contacted me again. The detective who took my statements did raid the Holowczak's home with police dogs and did walk the streets interviewing neighbours who supported my account - but the police never told me this; I heard it from the residents. Later, I was contacted by a Sydney lawyer who basically told me the Sutherland detective in charge of my case, who grew up in Engadine, was a member of the child trafficking network she was supposedly investigating. * * * Reina was right: I serve a life sentence for crimes committed against me. Antony Kidman was right: I achieved nothing without the Luciferians' support. The Luciferian network's two-pronged attack - harassment and sabotage - is designed to make victims like me give up hope. It is designed to induce the state Kidman promoted: Learned Helplessness, 'the condition in which a person suffers from a sense of powerlessness arising from a traumatic event or persistent failure to succeed.' The Source of Hope Within Always be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks you to give the reason for the hope that you have. (1 Peter 3:15) Bond University destroyed my career in October 2010. For two years leading up to that moment, I juggled study with debilitating stroke symptoms, rehabilitation, excessive scrutiny, sabotage, and my own children's special needs. Then suddenly my life was still. Suddenly I noticed I was deeply exhausted. Suddenly I had the time and headspace to sleep. I slept heavily most days. When not asleep, I watched Christian satellite television, listened to the Bible, or prayed. I prayed continually for three specific things: vindication, compensation, and reinstatement. Three weeks into my hiatus, I fell into a deep sleep in front of the television. An hour later, I suddenly awoke. I was wide awake. I went from the deepest sleep, to being as awake as anyone could be. My eyes remained shut as I heard a TV evangelist announce: 'GOD HAS HEARD YOUR PRAYERS I' I immediately fell back into a deep slumber. Sometime later, I awoke again. My eyes stayed closed as I listened: 'DO NOT FRET ABOUT YOUR SCHOLASTIC CONCERNS.' I fell deeply asleep again. Then I was suddenly alert, my still eyes closed. 'YOU WILL BEJUSTIFIEDI' I slept again, and again woke up to the pastor's loud voice: 'YOU WILL BE RECOMPENSED!' Dead asleep. Then wide awake: 'YOU WILL BE REINSTATED!' I fell asleep again. I awoke in time to hear the pastor's final words: 'I had not intended to give this sermon. I had something else planned. I don't know why I gave this sermon. Perhaps there is someone out there who needed to hear it.' Jon ignored me when I tried to tell him that God spoke to me through the television set. So, I relayed the strange experience to my psychologist friend Luciana who laughed at my exhibiting classic signs of the very thing Bond tried framing me with. The following Sunday, I awoke at 6am and could not fall back to sleep. I then did something I never usually did, I went into our lounge room, turned on the television and flicked through the Christian satellite channels. Jon then did something he never typically does. He emerged from the bedroom and joined me. We caught the end of a story about a university student who took a moral stand against something she believed in. The student was consequently victimised by university staff. What started as something small snowballed until the university was eventually investigated by a powerful external body. In response, the student said, many of the offending lecturers chose to resign instead of implementing the recommended changes. The remaining university lecturers approached the student and admitted she had been in the right all along. Jon's mouth dropped open and he glanced at me like one of those rotating fairground clown heads that devour ping-pong balls. 'See/ I smiled, 'I told you the television was talking to me.' I phoned Luciana and handed the phone to Jon who confirmed, 'Yes, Luciana, the television talked to me too.' 'Fiona,' Luciana marvelled, 'You're like a clairvoyant or something. People think you're weird because you say all these things without any evidence for it, and it makes you sound paranoid and crazy. But then, months later - it all comes true!' * * * Anything Except the Biblical Jesus Christ In today's Western society it is acceptable to embrace all kinds of weird spiritual beliefs. It is fine to be a Zen Buddhist and believe in reincarnation, or to consult an Indian guru for advice on mantra. It is cool to embrace the Mormon belief that they will populate their own polygamist planet, or to experience Shamanic visions and communicate with animal spirits, or to dance naked in the forest and chant to Mother Earth. It is acceptable for people to gather in the mountains and wait for visitations from alien UFOs. It is normal to consult mediums and spirits to find out how your dead loved ones are faring in the afterlife. It is acceptable to speak of the ethereal concept of a 'Christ consciousness.' It is even okay to be a Satanist and attend conferences and ritual orgies. In fact, all these beliefs and practises are deemed 'culturally acceptable' by mental health practitioners. It is hip to be anything these days - except one thing: it is not okay to be a Bible believing Christian. If I say I communicate with my God, or if I experience strange events in the context of my Christian beliefs, then that apparently makes me crazy. I am labelled a crazy right-wing fundamentalist because the people doing the labelling are Luciferians who hate God and who strive to achieve the opposite of everything the Bible says. My Secret Source of Strength I was asked on social media: To what do you attribute your ability to not only survive the unspeakable but thrive? You seem to be thriving to me. You ore powerful. Firstly, I do not always thrive. My supporters simply do not get to witness my private meltdowns. I too was once fragile and frightened, and at times I still feel threatened and anxious; hence I still suffer with Complex PTSD. But I get what people mean. I seem to thrive relative to the condition most victims of extreme abuse are seemingly in. Many victims are curled up in foetal positions in the corner of some psychiatric ward. Or they have committed suicide already. But those are the visible victims. People do not realise that through mind control the filthy rich elite have created an invisible population of survivors who appear to function within society. These victims walk around oblivious to the content of their implicit memory systems. Their core issues manifest as numbness, or mental health issues for which they take prescription medicine, or else they drink, sex, or work to distract themselves from the unspeakable reality. Mental health issues only overcome those in conflict with their implicit involvement in clandestine cult and network activities. And yes, I was born with innate abilities that helped me survive. The qualities that John Gittinger and his vile associates selected me for are the very same ones I employed to fight their programming. Their training is what I used to defend myself against their agents. I turned their skills on them and bit them on the arse like an angry dog. But I am only what God made me, and what Gittinger tampered with. God created me an introvert like every other member of my large family. Gittinger changed me to an extrovert. If Gittinger had not changed me to an extrovert, I would not have been able to speak publicly and interact with victims the way I have. It is as the Bible says: But as for you, you thought evil against me; but God meant it unto good, to bring to pass, as it is this day, to save many people alive. My survival is testament to the existence and authority of Jesus Christ. My belief in the Biblical God and His only son Jesus Christ is the fundamental reason I managed to recover my memories without cracking or dying. That is my big secret. That is my source of hope in the face of adversity. That is where I found the courage and strength to defy my abusers and dare to heal. Deep down I know that Jesus Christ is Lord, that this world is under the temporary occupancy and rule of Lucifer and his vile minions, and that there is a real, tangible afterlife as described in the Bible. Yes, I am a crap Christian. My abusers specifically targeted my childhood belief in God and made it near impossible to relax, pray, concentrate on reading the Bible, and trust in an all-powerful, all-knowing, ever-present Creator. My survival is testament to the existence and authority of Jesus Christ. It has been difficult to reconcile why this same God allowed one innocent child to experience so much pain and terror. I sometimes ask, why did God let one little girl experience more hell on earth than ten thousand lives combined? What is the point to all this? Why does God let bad things happen to innocent people? Why am I still here? It is not enough to just survive, with my head barely above the flood waters. I want a break. I want peace. When will God avenge me? When will he silence and destroy my enemies? Where is my vindication, compensation and reinstatement? Where is my Job-like ending? Job's life was a picnic compared to mine. His calamity struck all at once during his adulthood, and he had a stable childhood development to fall back on. I had no such base. These are the questions and arguments I share with God as I stomp around in frustration, anger and anxiety. Why Do Bad Things Happen to Innocent People? I was in my early twenties when I grasped the story and meaning of Job. Job was a wealthy, righteous and socially respected man. God and Satan had a wager at Job's expense. God instigated Satan's focus on Job by asking him whether he had considered Job and how upright he was. Satan responded by accusing God of wrapping Job up in cotton wool, and he challenged God by betting, if God took everything from Job, the man would curse God. So, God gave Satan permission to rob Job of his possessions, then his kids, then his health. Even worse. Job's wife began nagging him. Then Job's mates accused Job of having done something wrong to attract such calamity. In all this. Job still did not blame God. For many Bible pages. Job debated with his three friends. He challenged God to appear so that he can have it out with Him in person, like I did atop that Alaskan mountain. Finally, God did appear before job and his three friends. At this. Job dropped to the ground in terror. For many pages, God asked Job many questions about the natural world. God asked Job whether he is able to feed all the wild animals, control the weather, or physically wrestle wild beasts. Job crapped himself in awe and admitted he knew nothing about such things. Finally, God told Job: 'Listen, there is more going on in this world than you can imagine. So, until you know how to run the physical world, don't tell me how to run the spiritual world.' In the end. Job was restored, in a sense. He had a second family of kids who were the most handsome in the land, greater wealth, and was publicly vindicated before his mates. Justice is Coming People discredit the existence of the Biblical God by saying a loving God would never throw people in Hell. They also question why a caring God would let such horror happen to innocent children like me. Here is my understanding of such matters. Firstly, God gave humans free will to do as they choose. The things some people chose to do, the Bible says, are so evil that they never entered God's mind as being possible: And they built the high places of Baal, which are in the valley of the son of Hinnom, to cause their sons and their daughters to pass through the fire unto Molech; which I commanded them not, neither come it into my mind, that they should do this abomination, to cause Judah to sin. For a person to be judged and sentenced to prison, they must first commit the crime. God allows perpetrators to rape, torture, and kill children because if they did not physically act on their potential and desire for evil, they could not subsequently be judged and eternally punished by God, and so they would qualify for Heaven. I don't want to spend eternity with Luciferian pedophile scum like Kidman. God showed Ezekiel a vision of the priests secretly performing cult rituals inside the Temple, and asked: Is it nothing to the people of Judah that they commit these detestable sins, leading the whole nation into violence, thumbing their noses at me, provoking my anger? Therefore, I will respond in fury. I will neither pity nor spare them. And though they cry for mercy, I will not listen. God then instructed an angel to: Walk through the streets of Jerusalem and place a mark upon the foreheads of all who weep and sigh because of the abominations being committed in their city. God then instructed five more angels to: Follow him through the city and kill everyone whose forehead is not marked. Show no mercy; have no pity! Kill them all - old and young, girls and women and little children. But do not touch anyone with the mark. Begin here at the Temple. So, they began by killing the 70 leaders... God said: The sins of the people of Israel and Judah are very, very great. The entire land is full of murder; the city is filled with injustice. They are saying, 'The LORD doesn't see it! The LORD has abandoned the land!' ...I willfully repay them for all they have done. God hates the satanic ritual murder of babies. Human sacrifice is the 'abomination that causes desolation' which will occur in the Third temple. Luciferian ritual and sacrifice are the root cause of social decline. The Old testament is simply a history of God's chosen people oscillating between worshipping the Biblical God and worshipping Lucifer. When they served God, the Jews prospered. When they practised satanism and sacrificed their babies to Moloch, their society fell apart. So, it is today. The 350,000 strong Belgian march against their government's child trafficking operation proves that people power can't fix this. Only the direct intervention of God can clean up the mess Western society is in for throwing out the Ten Commandments, school prayer, and Christian morals, in exchange for witchcraft and pornography, drugs and divorce. That is why another Passover is coming - to end this evil age. Instead of painting lamb's blood over their door lintels, an invisible mark is placed on the foreheads of those who believe in the Lamb of God. Those spiritually marked by God will be spared from the coming holocaust in which the Bible predicts two thirds of Jewish people will die. / sow another angel ascending from the rising of the sun, having the seal of the living God, and he called with a loud voice to the four angels who had been given power to damage earth and sea, saying, 'Do not damage the earth or the sea or the trees, until we have marked the servants of our God with a seal on their foreheads.' God will exact justice. He will issue the death penalty. His order of vengeance will mimic that recorded in Ezekiel. It will start at the Temple, with allowing the Luciferians to perpetrate another holocaust against the apostate Christian churches and Jewish Synagogues, before turning His sword of justice against the Luciferians themselves. What can we do to help? People often asked me on social media, 'What can I do to help the plight of victims?' / am only one voice, they think. How can I possibly make an impact on such a vast operation? As the above Ezekiel vision shows - the most important thing is to care. If you care, that will influence your every action and at least prevent you from contributing to the problem. God marked and spared those who felt anguish over what the Luciferian pedophiles have done to mankind. There are only two sides to choose from: good or evil, no shades of grey. This is increasingly evident as the Luciferian pedophiles make their move for global control. I have tried to relay in this book how this has come to be, and how their system of control works. Hopefully, this book helps to make sense of everything that does not make sense. Jesus Christ instructed His followers to be witnesses for the truth. A witness takes the stand and tells the court what they personally experienced. Christians were not asked to play judge, jury, prosecutor, or defence attorney. We are not here to argue and prove. We are here to testify to what we believe and why, to explain the reason for our sense of hope when people ask. A pastor asked me whether I was going to get someone reputable to write a forward in this book and so vouch for my credibility - and by extension, my sanity. I responded, 'Who do you suggest will raise their hand to have an ASIO target painted on their head? I have a psychiatrist who was the Royal Commission's first choice of expert witness to publicly testify regarding the impact of child abuse on adults. But she would be stripped of her registration if she endorsed this book. And who am I trying to convince anyhow? If people aren't convinced of my story after reading Relevance of Intelligence which contains complex, previously unpublished information - nothing will convince them. If people don't want to believe me, then my book is not for them. They are not my target audience. In fact, I don't want them to read my book. 'My target audience are the victims who recognise my testimony because they themselves lived it. My target audience are victims who don't dare respond to me on social media for fear of being detected. My audience is the person who writes to tell me: "You are the reason I get up in the morning," or "I believe in God because of you." Do you think I care what the public say about me? I am very experienced at being hated: I've been defamed on national TV by the ABC, I was slandered to the Psychology Board, I was continually vilified on social media. I just soldiered on through their incessant attacks, which is the reason I got so far with my story -1 did not crumble at their insults. So, as if I care now what people, who don't want to know the truth, think of my book.' 'Your story is hard to swallow,' he concluded. 'Then they are going to have a hard time swallowing what the Bible says is coming next. My book is just the appetiser for the main course described in Revelation. The Bible says men's hearts will fail them for fear of what's coming. What do you think could cause people to drop dead in fear like that? If people can't handle my book, how will they handle it when what I witnessed under Pine Gap manifests and enters their own homes? My job is to just tell people what I experienced. Their choice how they receive it. Duty of care fulfilled.' I left the unbelievable things out of this book. I have tasted the spiritual and seen things that I can't begin to share here, things which prevent me from denying the existence and authority of God. My supernatural experiences of God's authority and power are relative to my experiences of the most vile and evil darkness. That is a fair balance. I understand that God's nature is softer and gentler than I thought. I know that He only bothers disciplining and changing the character of those He cares about. I know He never pushes us beyond what we can endure but squishes us right up against that line. I know that somehow God weaves everything together so that in the end, it will all make sense. I know that God can take what people intended to harm and destroy me and turn it into the best thing that could have happened. Yet intellectually knowing and emotionally feeling are two different things. Life hurts. Life is pain. Happiness stems from a word meaning 'luck.' Happiness is a transient state of being which depends on current external circumstances. Joy, however, transcends our physical surrounds, and is a result of belief and faith in God. I might not be happy with my worldly situation - extremely unhappy. I'm not that joyful either. But I do have a sense of hope. They can rob me of my social reputation and standing, destroy my career, kill my every interest, ruin my finances, break my marriage, threaten my kids, poison my pets, turn my family against me, take my friends, decimate my physical health, and publicly mock me in the media. The one thing they can never destroy my belief in Jesus Christ. True 'transhumanism' and eternal life are attained by simply believing in Jesus Christ, believing that He is who the Bible says He is. Remember the thief hanging next to Jesus during the crucifixion? All he said was, 'Jesus, remember me when you come into your Kingdom.' Jesus replied, 'Sure thing.' All the thief did to gain what these Luciferians have been struggling to invent themselves was believe and ask. No Kundalini serpent crap, no legalism, no exchange of money, no dressing and speaking the right way, no secret doctrine, no ten steps to this or eight steps to that, no magic, alchemy or technology. Just belief and request. I believe God can restore me if he chooses. I believe He will indeed vindicate, compensate, and reinstate me. But exactly how He will do that, I have no idea. It will likely not occur in this life. And in the great scheme of things it does not matter. What matters is that Heaven and the Lake of Fire are real, tangible places - just as real as what we physically perceive right now. Have you ever sat too close to a campfire so that it became uncomfortable? Have you ever experienced a traumatic accident? Have you ever felt the pain of losing a loved one? Take every horrible thing that could happen to a human being and multiple it - and continue increasing it. The result does not begin to touch on what awaits our enemies. Justice does exist. God's justice will ultimately prevail. Belief in God's omnipotence, omniscience, and omnipresence is my secret survival tactic. That is my source of hope within.